Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
somewhere over two packs a day
budget smokes
tobacco and chemicals swept up off the plant floor
combines with well over one thousand gallons of Jim Beam
hate-fest on the liver and lungs –
from under twenty the ******* and LSD
sherm’s with the break dancers
in the Frisco Bay
years of **** abuse
both via the nose,
and also from a foil tube
………….
and then the ****** –

50 plus years old in an emergency room
looking at pictures
of  10% heart function
fuzzy, grainy, distorted,
and true…
major life changes ensue
through with smoking and eating garbage
afraid of road rage
and defibrillation
sitting in a basement
thinking about my cannabis oil
and a November trip to Colorado. –

phone calls to friends expressing a new version
telling the youth the lifestyle isn’t always the way
living fast and dying young
doesn’t always work
rarely leaves a pretty corpse
and won’t make you any more of a badass….
to live one’s life to the fullest
each and every day
with no consideration for the outcome
sometimes has you looking at pictures
of healthy lungs
plaque free arteries
a clean liver
and only 10% heart function –

Images I have never seen
waltz through my mind
slowly turning and moving to and fro
one, two, three
one, two, three
the rhythm matching the unevenness
of his most important muscle
I sit quietly on the edge of my bed
thinking over a lifetime and my best dear friend
I hope we make it to November. –
the sun shown scarlet on the shore
and the day faded away
small feet sunk slow into wet sand
as they too seemed to fade
wavy hair tossed playfully
in the cool evening breeze
and the last moment of sunlight hit her eyes
I stood transfixed –
with seeming deliberateness, she turned her gaze
and I felt pieces of my heart crumble
falling within my chest cavity
finding rest only in the soles of my worn shoes
a word caught in my throat
bringing moisture to my eyes
it was then she looked back at my face –
wishing there were words to descried the beauty
I could only smile and extend my hand
placing her tiny pale fingers
into my rough and calloused hands
a love filled me
that I thought was reserved for fairy tales –
Each new day I remember
thirteen years of these moments
and as the sun shines brightly through my window
I smile knowingly
as there are so many more to come –

— The End —