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Chantelle May 2012
Love, love.
What is love?
Is it with someone who makes you happy?
For with you, am I happy.
Unrequited.

Fear, fear.
What is fear?
Why are you scared when it's only in your head?
Fear is 90% thought and 10% occurrence (that's what the Adults tell me)
Converse.

Beauty, beauty.
What is beauty? Who is beautiful?
Is it who wears the prettiest clothes, or has the skinniest legs, or the most pleasant face?
Nay, it's who ever has the best personality... right?
Negative.

Intelligence, intelligence.
What is intelligence?
Is it whoever gets the best grades?
Yet those who don't try as hard do better than me.
Exasperated.
Chantelle May 2012
The mere reason for your existence
is unknown.

The pathetic fallacy which always seems
to counter your feelings.

The mistrust you hold
in your own friends.

That feeling you get when you know
you ******* up.

The "fake smile" you try to keep on to mask
those ugly scars.

Those secrets
you put on Tumblr.

The moment when you give up and say
"I don't really care."

The time early in the morning when you realize
you can't finish.

The (many) opportunities you could've taken
but tragically and regretfully missed.
Chantelle May 2012
Have you ever noticed?
The change in your own character,
the moment you are by yourself.

The quiet stillness is like a blank canvas,
ready for me to paint my thoughts on.
No judgement comes from the quiet.

An entirely different person,
I wonder how I can be what they label me.
Considering everything and anything about the world.

My mind floats freely, no human contact required to think.
Buoyant in a world that is yet to sink, like Atlantis.
Composed, calm, collected.

Every fragment of my existence feels right.
No pain, or happiness, just peace.
Chantelle Aug 2012
The Last Day,
the Last Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner...
but it isn't.
We'll see each other again,
sometime.
Hold back your tears,
trust me.
Ours paths will cross again.
they say that no one remembers
that special feeling,
and all plans fall apart,
but not this one.
A strange coincidence brought us all
together...
so together, we will be.
Think of time not as the absence of being with one other,
but the countdown to the Meeting.
Chantelle May 2012
Exists
All the time
Everywhere
Maybe not in your mind
All the time.
It strikes at unprecedented moments
and it hurts as if sand paper was rubbing against your lungs
You are deeply hurt
and shut your brain off temporarily
your mouth may not be correlated with the nervous system.
You say things you will regret.
The overwhelming feeling of not being good enough
washes over you, your life, your existence
like an enormous wave eroding away a mountain of self-esteem
that took you so long to accumulate.
Chantelle May 2012
I tried to be nice to you.
Unfortunately, that moment when we became "friends" never clicked in.
Honestly, I wonder why.

So now, in the semi-awkward space that remains between us,
I would like to say,
I'm done.

I'm sorry to think that we'll never be friends.
I wasted too much time on you.
Chantelle Jun 2012
A heart that's filled up like a landfill
A job that slowly kills you
Bruises that won't heal
You look so tired, unhappy
Bring down the government
They don't, they don't speak for us
I'll take the quiet life, a handshake of carbon monoxide
No alarms, and no surprises
No alarms, and no surprises
Silent
Silent
-Radiohead
Chantelle May 2012
Standing out there in the bitter cold,
without any warmth or light to comfort me.

I would knock on your door
but I'm too afraid rejection is all I will see.

Feeling incompetent when I see you all together,
huddled in your little cult circle.

I try to avert my attention to an outside source,
yet my countenance fails to hide the true obstacle.

I want to be liked, to be looked up to,
not unpopular.

Upon looking back, wishing I had favor from others
is one of the biggest mistakes I'd ever made.

You can determine your own path;
Decide where to go.

I sense hope for the future,
see a light in the dark tunnel,
hear a sweet melody through a deaf person's ears,
taste honey on the bitter part of the tongue,
and feel inspired, even when you shun me out of
Your Supremely Popular Coalition for Fun and Successful People.

So sorry that I missed out on the grand invitation,
not. (it didn't exist)

The snow is falling ever so softly here,
Their gentle rest upon preceding flakes is ever so calm.

I loved once and I do love now,
how my mind is at rest, free from your affliction.

To think of it now,
it's rather pretty outside, don't you agree?
Chantelle May 2012
"Don't wear your heart on your sleeve,"
I may never learn that lesson.

There is not that much a difference between
loving and being nice.

Why do we make such a big deal between
being friends ... and "going out?"

Those who are sentimental, often get chastised.
Dickens was criticized by my entire English class.

I am too effusive,
and this will always be an obstacle for me.
Chantelle May 2012
Hope,
dissipates.
Decrease in efficiency rate
3 am, already too late.
We,
cooperate.
I,
contemplate,
In a frenetic state.
Still,
about a mate.
Can you relate?
Chantelle Nov 2012
Today I saw that the government is
Debating whether to join the fight.
Again.
What do I know of strife?
The greatest anger I've felt is
Perhaps when my sister steals my slice of cake.
A "slice of cake" that maybe some other country
Wants terribly bad.
But can't fight.
The playing ground motives are the same.
The effect is magnified.
War
Chantelle Nov 2012
War
If I was the supreme lord of the universe
I wouldn't hide in waiting.
If I had all the knowledge and foresight
I would share it.
Wars were fought and pain felt
For a cause known, but a reason not.
Wars are fought and we were still hurt
Always for a cause that was known,
but the underlying reason
was not.
Why should we **** for peace?
Is it for "the greater good?"
Or is it self-justification for our wrongs...
The question waits to be answered.

— The End —