This whole ordeal is becoming
Dangerous.
I warned you
"I'm worried I might get attached.."

Now here you are
immortalized in my work.
"Yeah, getting attached would be bad.."
And it is.

Lust often leads to
Infatuation
so we really needn't
Worry

But I hunger for something
more
Something you can't provide
with your throbbing **** alone.

I often forget why it is
That I write.
It's not for potential fame
Nor to prove my "talent"

I believe I write
To release unwanted thought
and bid farewell to
Emotion.

It's wondrous.
How the ink of my pen
turns into that of an endless
River.

The words flow
onto the page.
My sorrow pouring out
With them.

As my magic river slows,
drowning and washing away the
Pain, I let in
Happiness and clarity.

each day that passes
gets a little
easier.

The pain is less
intense and your smile
A little fainter

As the sun sets
giving wake to
moonlit dreams

You will be
Present in mine
no more.

You're in every song I hear,
every movie I see,
and haunt my every thought!

I haven't gone a single day
without thinking of you
and it's driving me crazy!

I know I can't have you!
And all of this is hopeless!
But I can't seem to

Let You Go.

My Father wears a
Cologne of dirt and sweat,
cowboy hat and boots,
a moderately large belt buckle,
and a salt and pepper mustache.

When he sees me
his face lights up
and he embraces me
engulfing me in his
familiar scent.

"My baby" he murmurs
as his hands smooth my
hair. "Te Quiero Mucho"
he says as his lips make
contact with my forehead.

"I love you too much",
he translates. It feels as if
my heart is going to break
and my eyes well up with tears
"I Love You, Too" I choke.

This is met with another
embrace, kisses on my
cheeks, his stubble scratching
rather than tickling my skin,
and the touch of his forehead to mine.

Once a month for
16 years, this is what
has always happened. But
now the ritual is ended and my
Father's Cologne is only a memory.

There's something left unsaid
There's something burning inside my head.
It's consistent and nagging,
Always there and bragging.

It tells me we will never work
And always wears a devilish smirk.
As of late, I've begun listening to it
And in doing so it has consumed my spirit.


The agony of my error
Fills me with me with ever present confusion and terror
My dearest, I ask you but one favor,
Tell me that we will last forever.
Reclaim you're righteous position in my head
And lay that treacherous beast of doubt to bed.

Bury that ghastly thing beneath the ground,
To remain forever gagged and bound.
Fill my heart with hope and love,
So that my spirit might soar high to the stars above

I am done with being a prisoner of my own mind
And I feel the need to take control and leave my past and former self behind.
But I cannot make these changes without you
Otherwise, I feel that I may not follow through.
So please, stay a little longer,
And in doing so, make our love just the tiniest bit stronger

Guilt
Is such a strange
Yet filling
Emotion

Your heart swells
And your chest
Shrinks
You feel like you're about to burst.

The feeling lingers,
Creating awkwardness,
And a strange sense of
Unease.

If only this insane
Feeling could just rid itself from existance.
Misery builds inside,
And tears begin to fall.

Darkness is the only refuge,
Easing a few of the worries,
But the mind still races,
And the heart still aches.

Now all because
Of one tiny mistake
You are filler with
Guilt.

Separated by the miles,
A fire burns brightly between them.
And yet there' a chill running down her spine,
But she can't find the reason why.
Maybe it's the distance,
The fact that he truly is so far away.
Or maybe it's just that her heart caught fire too suddenly again,
Sending thrilling tendrils of electricity throughout her body.
That was more logical answer believe it or not.
Either way, She is restless and longing,
Dying for his touch,
For him to make her world right,
And finally complete.
But, they are separated by the miles,
With a blazing fire between them.

It's another typical night.
He's fallen asleep again, and yet I continue to speak.
I whisper to him quietly while he sleeps,
wondering if he can actually hear me.
Nevertheless, I remind him how much he truly means to me
and ask him if he's dreaming of me tonight.
I then plant a gentle kiss upon his lips,
rest my head on his chest,
and let my eyes flutter shut.
The soothing rhythm of his heart beat
and the steadiness of his breath
begin to lull me to sleep.
As I fall into black depths of unconsciousness
I know I will dream of him tonight.