I smiled today
a genuine kind of smile
the kind of smile that is produced
when a flower looks up at you
but then guilt reminded me
that I am not allowed to be
something of such beauty
so I washed it all away in the sink
(back to normal)
-

You pushed me away
When I wanted to be there
You crushed my heart
When I loved you from the start
You didn't believe me
When I poured my heart out
And after all those tears
I would take you back any second

“There’s a strange stalker in my chest, walking fast, unable to rest.”

And how you know it,
feel it every day,
sleep with its weight
as your comfort and dismay.
A blanket of shame to wrap yourself in;
another way to get warm,
another game to play.
Sleep alone and sleep thin
thoughts, weave them into dreams
until you feel distraught.
You
killed
a child
you
didn’t
want,
moved away back to Vermont.

A mourning woman made a wish one night, then sent it to the sky.
What she wished for was a reason, she was desperate to know why.

Why he had to go away, the reason seemed unclear.
Why was he taken away from her, when she still needed him here.

The man she knew to be so strong, she thought could never parish.
Now in his place, nothing left behind except his memory to cherish.

"How could God have done this to us?", she screamed with all her might.
"Why didn't you take the both of us when you came for him that night"?

The very next day while driving to town, everything became perfectly clear,
she wrapped her car around a tree while swerving to miss a deer.

And as she lay there in the snow, her body broke, and freezin
A smile appeared upon her face, because she finally knew the reason.

Why is it when you enter a room, I'm not the first you see?
You scan the room and always last your eyes will fall on me.

You make me feel invisible, as if I'm not really there.
Would you notice if I left? Or would you even care?

Why is it when you look at me there's nothing in your eyes?
But when another comes around your attention seems to rise.

For just one day I'd like to feel like your eyes were only on me,
And that even in a crowded room I'm the only one you see.

Why is it you seem so interested when others are around?
But when It's me who seeks your attention it never can be found.

I don't know how much longer I'll be able to take this pain.
All of these feelings and insecurities are driving me insane.

So why is it you don't notice that I'm sad and miserable?
Probably because every time you look at me I'm still invisible.

I am a burning candle and I have burned out.
There is still a lot of wick left, though.
But I'm too drunk to find my lighter.
And who really gives a **** anyway.