Chandler Lauren

Chandler Lauren Mar 2013

If this is all that's left
If there is nothing more
If I am on my own
So be it.

The stray darting eye
The whisper, passing by
I can't come free of it
So be it.

I hear she's gone crazy
I heard she's deranged
She's spiraling downward I suppose
So be it.

I prowl in the darkness
Through restless dreams haunting
Wake up, sweat and screaming
So be it.

Sink or swim, no wading
Live or die, no saving
Fight with iron fist, no failing
So be it.

Chandler Lauren Feb 2013

Rock-Bottom, Rock N' Roller

Did you drink away the pain, my love?
Did it make you feel alright?
Would you have even needed to,
if you still had me in your life?

Can you even remember the mess you made?
(The mess you made of yourself.)
Do you remember the mangled words you yelled?
and How badly did it hurt when you fell?

Do you think anyone wondered why you turned out the lights?
Did they know that you weren't yourself?
And I'm curious to know if they laughed at you
When your friends hid you until you got well!

I'll be honest and say I knew you were messed up,
But I never had guessed the extent.
Because even you once had rules for yourself,
Well, I suppose out the window they went!

I know who you really are.
This new facade must be synthetic
For I've seen you at your worst
but even I can't deny,
Honey, thats pretty pathetic.

Chandler Lauren Feb 2013

Homeless

Homesick for you
Trembling too...
Just wishing that you were here
To shelter me
in your embrace
And dry away my tears

I know you're not gone
Just far away
I still think of you all the time
The war is over
The raging has ceased
But not all can be healed by time

I don't want you back
I now know that you
Simply are just not the one
But you're still in my dreams
I still reminisce
And the heart in my chest weighs a ton

I look at the stars
Admire their glow
They always made me think of you
I wonder over and over
Even though it is futile
If I ever cross your mind too

Sometimes I imagine
What it will be like
When I someday see you again
Will we share a smile?
Will you just pass me by?
Would you want to be friends?

I still love you D - - - - -
But I'm not in love
It may be for the best we're apart
But one thing I know
I'll never forget you
You're forever tattooed on my heart

Chandler Lauren Feb 2013

Secrets.Secrets.Secrets

Secrets secrets secrets
I know all your stories
Your insecurities
Your dark side

Secrets secrets secrets

Some you told me
Some that other guy told me
Some I overheard
Others I have acquired illicitly

Secrets secrets secrets

I hold your reputation
And your mental stability
And your trust
In my hands

Secrets secrets secrets

I am trustworthy
And that's a good thing
But who hasn't made bad choices before?

Secrets secrets secrets

You know some of mine
Think you know all of mine
You could crush me bit by bit
but in the wrong hands,

Secrets secrets secrets

Are nothing but a truce between frenemies
Like two loaded guns
Aimed at eachother
Smiling, but set to **** if necessary.

Secrets secrets secrets

Are they really secrets at all?
Are you sure you know me?
Whispers run rampant here.

Chandler Lauren Jan 2013

Back-Burner Friend

Am I relevant enough to scribble my name
on the dance card of your heart?

Your passive loyalty and interest make you to be a *******,
but I've always much preferred the constancy of choreography
and heat on the Fourth of July.

So please tell me why:
Why must I always play the follow
to your non-remorseful lead?

My shiniest records were always for you
as were my collective Saturday nights,
the hours spent practicing and sweating
preparing, only to be worthy.

I should know better
seeing as this is the 14th time
you've broken the gramophone.

Perhaps it's time for a new waltz.

Chandler Lauren Jan 2013

Dying Wish

Neurologists say that after breathing ceases
And the body is dead
The brain remains living
For an additional 4-7 minutes.

If mine were to stop tonight
I'd wish you were by my side
And that you'd sing to me in those 4-7 minutes

So my last moments would be surrounded by your love.
So I'd know that it was all worth it.
And so I wouldn't feel as alone as I do right now.

Chandler Lauren Jan 2013

Conflicted

I saw you tonight
(from the outside looking in)
So why is it that
(i know why)
You made me want to run away
(and run straight to your arms)
And never look back?
(i can't let go.)