You lied to me this week
and you lied the week before,
You led me on and dragged my heart
all over the floor.

You can break me once
and you can even break me twice,
But break me for the third time?
Now thats not very nice.

For as long as I have known you
I have fought for you,
I gave you all my love
But clearly I have been a fool.

I swallowed up my pride tonight
to please you once again,
I begged and groveled to you
just to be my friend!

Your silence said it all though,
it was clear our time was up.
Your lack of remorse or mercy
was what really set me off.

I told you everything
that needed to be said,
And all the while I secretly hoped
that you wished that you were dead.

Now I'm just being honest,
I'm very sorry. (Not.)
But this whole mess and misery
is really all your fault.

So I grabbed that T-shirt,
your socks and bracelet too.
With a vengeance running through me,
I ******* my shoes.

You didn't know I was coming,
in fact you looked pretty shocked
To see me standing on your porch
When you opened the door unlocked.

For the longest time you stared at me
saying not a word,
And I just crossed my arms and glared-
I would bet that my message was heard.

I handed you the T-shirt,
threw the socks upon the ground.
Tossed the bracelet on the steps
What goes around comes around!

I then shoved at your chest
a gift all wrapped in paper,
I basked in the guilt on your face
as you fumbled with the wrapper.

You examined every aspect
oh-so-carefully,
Then stood there for forever
still not saying anything.

You stood there, stood there, fumbling
Connecting thoughts to words,
But they never made their way out,
And not one word was heard.

"Merry Christmas", I said quite bitterly
after some time had passed,
"I want my **** back."  were my next words,
Sorry to have been crass.

So we went inside
as you gathered up my things.
I kept a stick straight poker face,
the entire time reminiscing.

Next I thanked your parents
for the kindness they had shown.
This sad goodbye is thanks to you,
I wonder if they even know?

We proceeded down your hallway,
and I stood outside your door.
I took one more look in your eyes,
The eyes I loved so much before...

"Is there anything you want to say
to me before I go?"
You still just stood there quietly,
and then shook your head no.

I know you all too well,
I saw it dimly on your face,
That you felt a little tinge of sorrow
knowing that you've been erased.

"I guess this is it then."
Last chance to make a move.
"Before I go theres something
that I really need to do."

With your hands laced behind you,
I caught you so off guard,
When I lunged directly at your chest,
when I pushed you so hard!

That push was all I needed
to finally let go,
It made me suddenly feel stronger,
Empowered, and In-Control.

"Get off my porch!", you shouted
But I was already on my way.
"Get out of my life!" will be
the last thing that you ever hear me say.

I sped away in my car,
drove out into the night.
Nothing but smiles upon my face,
for I know this time....

I've won the fight.

Sometimes I don't feel very poetic,
and sometimes I just feel pretty pathetic,
because some days I feel like I'm doing fine,
but a moment later I want to just die,
because theres so much inside that I need to say,
but try as I might I can't find the right way,
because I feel so alone- Who could comprehend,
the pain, the pressure, the ache in my head,
so I just resort to going to bed,
but sleep never finds me, for it too has ditched,
and sometimes I just feel like a whiney *****,
because regardless of the ******* and all of this mess,
I know that ultimately I have been blessed,
it might take not weeks or months, rather years,
but I know one day will mark the end of my tears,
I might be at the bottom, the worst I could be,
but I've got my whole life still ahead of me.

SometImes I wonder
if you ever knew, exactly how happy I waS,
WiTh you

SometImes I wonder
couLd you ever see, the joy in my eyes
When you were with me

Sometimes I wonder
if you can recaLl, the days when Summer
Turned into FaLl

SOmetimes I wonder
if I'm still your muse, or if you'd sing for me
The way you'Ve used to

SomEtimes I wonder
what the hell happened, now to You I am
Only a has-been

Sometimes I wOnder
if you still think of me when you walk past that
StUmp in the cemetery

Every word gets me closer
Each answer draws me near
My sand is falling, crashing, piling
In the hourglass of my tears

The pile is quickly growing
Postcards and letters by my bed
Each day they harass and heckle me
Clouding up my head

Torn apart and bleeding
Wounds never seem to heal
Every time my plans are set
Emotion breaks the deal

This is getting rather old
And my time is running out
I sign my name and slam the cover
Terrified by doubts

Why can't I even comprehend this yet?
It feels like we're just pretending, this can't possibly be real.
I imagine myself walking down the aisle to you still.
Imagining someone else waiting for me at the altar seems so fake.
Unfathomable.
This didn't actually happen. You're mine still.
Right?
Wrong.
But I can't begin to understand.
If its bad now, I dread the thought of when it hits me.

I think sometimes you forget that I'm real.
Days pass by, a text message in the midmorning.
Another later in the afternoon.
Its been a while since you've told me "Goodnight".
It hasn't gone so undetected.
I keep myself defended. No photos, no updates online to remind
You that I'm human.
I've come to this conclusion as I drift further from you.
(not by my will)
I know it because I believe that when you and I are face to face once more,
When you hear my voice speak your name,
Hear its hollow inflections,
And see the shadows in my eyes,
You will remember.
It may not change everything or anything at all, but perhaps I'll no longer be
A robot, fictional character, or fading memory.