i had the dream that i
couldn't find you

standing alone and not knowing
just what to do

only myself to look at and
blame the mirror for
being so ******* true

i had the dream
of being lost and not
knowing what to do

so sick of being lonely
tired of unknown shame
staring into nothing
having myself to blame

i woke up to a place i didn't belong
next to me smiling,
guess you were having the same dreams too.

I have deeds that aren't proud
I have lies they bring me down
Days and nights loving nothing because nothing is in love like me.
I have dreams that get lost in a cloud.

I wish my wishes were true
I have given up on regretting the consequences they'd hold
Left empathy and begging behind
I'll do what I need to get mine
All in time
All in relative space
All done without wondering about your face.

Friends will make assumptions but never seek to rectify
Friends will assume and they begin with a lie.
They're like me but hold onto moral fiber
I admit I'm no good
I admit that I'm a liar.

Who else would do the same.
Those with full loss and no gain.

we abide and
appease
associate and
disease
one another
for our greed

fail or win
take what you can
while its out
run don't stop

It cuts us up
dissected and figured out
The road cuts you down

when you've let love slow you down

Uninteresting **** people
making bad choices
Walmart at 430 am
milk on a hot day
unwashed for days ******* still

One ant always bigger than another
Still we wait to squash or to be
I'm supposed to accept you while
Still You do whatever it is you please
still trash
still shady
I can't get away so I lay still
calmly building up rage
violence
angry ***
hair pulling
choking
still not letting go

Its a waste still I carry on
with whatever I please, still.

I got all i need
and i dont care
for anymore
your success
invaded
my failure

no measure for time
spinning wheels
gaining no ground
love draggin me down
in regret
in denial

i could grow and show
you how worthy
i am

but there would
not be a ripple
a stumble
or
second glance

ive grown used
to getting around
unnoticed
unwatched

the kingdom come
no one survived
we lost and now
pay an eternal grudge
for free will
an apple
rotting fruit
broken
for Now on

we follow over the falls
the edge always the next step
soft sheets
womanly warmth
and sweet remembrance

we still lost and can't come back

there's always expectations
when you have limitations
all their eyes
turn towards you
when time has run out

and no one will let us out
and no one will let me out

she's not willing
she just wants
a soul and human feelings
and when she has what she wants
the others still are waiting

and no one gets away
and no one negotiates

when you finally heal
all you have is another day
the expectations crush you
and limit what you have to say

give me a little sun
to burn this chill
make it so I aint never knew
the cold

show me them blue sky
and blow these grays away
I need better you know
but I ain't never gonna say

but I got it in my head
and I don't know
how to let go
stuck down in this place
cause you made me believe so

I wish I could walk on in peace
slowly get smaller
yeah you know I'd keep on a walking
never would turn my head
I'd walk on no mo sufferin
no I wouldn a run

mostly nothing works out
giving in to change
Personality
Direction
Doubt

dimensionless and self providing
we end up becoming more greedy
simple in our dying.

I hope for sake of
Love
Lust
Pleasantries
conclusions can be met

but we both know hardly anything works out.

what you've given
you'll never receive

your sacrifice
the preservation
a lineage of wonder
created

adoration and loyalty
respect from kindness

we your sons look to you mother
for your wisdom
vision
trust
guidance

comfort us in desperation
take away the pain of confusion
nurture us to be men

when all we want is to be
mommas boy
forever ....

I never liked jazz until I met you.
My first real girlfriends name was Maria, she was my first kiss.
When I met you, I had you confused with your sister until you came over... you wore red.
My timeline for memories are no good. I don't remember when certain things happened. A year ago can be 5 or vice versa. I'm not sure I want to make memories with someone else.