I see the bottom coming out
Smooth,  brown sweet doubt
Going down further and further
I owe a soul a debt
Looking to repay....
I'm lonely but I ain't that lonely yet

Smoke filled
Bludgeoned and stained
I try to stand but get knocked down again
Smiling through all this pain
Knowing tomorrow I'll just do it all the same..
I get lonely but I ain't that lonely yet.

Some days seem better than ones past
But I got this shine that masks my sores...
I could call you and wrestle you away from your bed....

You know I'm lonely but I hadn't
Gotten that lonely yet.

give me a little sun
to burn this chill
make it so I aint never knew
the cold

show me them blue sky
and blow these grays away
I need better you know
but I ain't never gonna say

but I got it in my head
and I don't know
how to let go
stuck down in this place
cause you made me believe so

I wish I could walk on in peace
slowly get smaller
yeah you know I'd keep on a walking
never would turn my head
I'd walk on no mo sufferin
no I wouldn a run

so far beneath me
I forgot you
ignored into
a spec never noticed

you take abuse
Like you deserve it
with a pride well hidden
as an abusive step parent
you sneak off for more

we abide and
appease
associate and
disease
one another
for our greed

fail or win
take what you can
while its out
run don't stop

It cuts us up
dissected and figured out
The road cuts you down

when you've let love slow you down

It's an image of us i have
Lost
Helpless
That haunted me.
It's gone i no longer need it.
You're real.
And I'm alive

I never liked jazz until I met you.
My first real girlfriends name was Maria, she was my first kiss.
When I met you, I had you confused with your sister until you came over... you wore red.
My timeline for memories are no good. I don't remember when certain things happened. A year ago can be 5 or vice versa. I'm not sure I want to make memories with someone else.

burdened
enraged out of control
run now
run faster

I'm danger
enraged cornered
I'll connect you
burn you mercilessly

i have died trying
and lived for less than you can fathom

I'm hungry and looking
to fill my dark needs

you got time
go now
before you find the love
within me

it wasn't you again
that missed call
that unseen text

funny how we expect the future
to begin right away
sad that the past
makes it impossible to stay

wishes never cease
lust and desire
always win

i miss you
already again

Gonna spoil before ya know
I'm slowly rotten
No use For my soul
Cooling off under ground

im a shadow in your eyes
a cancer
a plague
disguised and concealed
i blinded you
until you came

i can block out your fears
calm and comfort you
but only for a while
before i steal what you came
to just give away

plucked from random
a molecule from the cosmos
i stole you
only to surrender you again

you weren't mine but i was yours
even if for only a day
that's when my cancer took it all away

i had the dream that i
couldn't find you

standing alone and not knowing
just what to do

only myself to look at and
blame the mirror for
being so ******* true

i had the dream
of being lost and not
knowing what to do

so sick of being lonely
tired of unknown shame
staring into nothing
having myself to blame

i woke up to a place i didn't belong
next to me smiling,
guess you were having the same dreams too.