How is it every time
I take a few steps forward
I seem to get crushed and pummeled
And sent toward
A completely different direction
from where I started out
My dreams are scattered
And I start to no longer care about
Who I am
And who I want to be
I've tried and I've tried
But I can no longer see
The truths that so happen
To be standing in front of me
Or at least I've been told they're there
But apparently
They hate me just as much as I hate them
So **** it, how am I supposed to
Survive anxiety, bipoloar, depression
Schizophrenia, diabetes, it's like they knew
And set me up for failure,
And now Mom's got MS,
And Dad's dying by 55
When he's 53 and no longer can miss
A beer or 20 in a day
He's drinking his life away
Cause he no longer cares
And I shouldn't either today
But it still kills me
To see my family fall
Apart in the simplest of ways
Cause I know, one day, we'll all miss the call.

The moon holds such a serene glow
For all it's wonders, we may never know
It's light dances gently across the plains
And some nights it disappears, behind rains
Though it never truly runs away
It stays behind cover for a day
To recollect and reflect
What it's supposed to detect
Amongst the many mysteries of Night

Was it meant to help search for the lost?
Was anyone meant to help at such a cost?
Was it simply to gaze upon by star-crossed lovers
Or help protect children while they hide under covers
She knew she had a job to do
To control the tides, and keep them true
But there was more to life than the simply job
To keep her going, make her heart throb
But alas, these are the many mysteries of Night

Look I'm tired
And terrified
And I'm stuck
And petrified
Cause I have no way
Of ever knowing
If I have purpose
Am I even showing
The direction I want to go in
I've fought so hard
To be who I am
To place the next card
And it's gotten to the point
Where I just seem to not care
Anymore and that scares me
And to be utmost fair
I want to care
I like liking myself
And I enjoy being happy
Not being stealth
In who I am or who I want
So why am I feeling down again?
It's like I can't control it
And I've tumbled down the lions den
Well I plan on fighting this time
Not because I have a lot in reserve for a fit
But because truthfully I owe it to myself
And, of course, because I deserve it

As the smoke clears, and the pain and sorrow hits
It keeps us glued, to the life that should not be
We forgot all, the beauty life can hold
It only waits, for you to open your eyes and see

It's up to you
To not settle for what you want
But fight for what you need

I have had better days
And now there's a smile, that I never knew of

This time, I could have sworn
The pain would make this heart so torn
But I've found, the sun shines brighter, with a smile
And it makes the load lighter, for a while

Sorrow only comforts for so long
And not to live today would just be wrong
So I'll embrace happiness like a long missed brother
Cause I'll stay strong and live like no other

My mind has been broken
And I can't help but feel like it's taken
A toll, on my spirit and my soul
But I still have a chance, to be whole

Don't ever doubt the power in you
Cause with it you'll always stay true
So we should all stand together and fight the good fight
And while you may be in darkness now, we'll show you the light

I have had better days
Moving forward in my own way
And now there's a smile, that I never knew of

Ever since you
decided to walk over me
and force me to look
at myself and just tear
every piece of me to shreds
I haven't been the same.
Every walk has been longer
Every breathe has been dragged out
And every moment of my being I've felt alone

Well guess what.
I'm finally feeling okay
And you're not going to take that away.
I've worked so hard to smile
And you deserve it
You don't deserve to take away
The one thing I'm happy about today
So please just leave my mind

I'm tired of thinking about how you mistreated me
So please just leave and never return
I no longer wish for you to be apart of me
But fate has us intertwined on those unfortunate days.
And I wish I could take it all back
Say that I deserved better than you
And no longer put up with all of your complaints
But I can't

And I'm stuck with these thoughts of today.

I miss the warmth of a woman's touch
And I miss the comfort of a warm bed
And while all that I miss isn't much
It's enough to keep my thoughts fed
And worried over the long nights
About who will I meet along the long road
I try not to worry about the distant lights
Or hear the woes of the lost toad
And keep focused on my present
And forget all about my past
But my past made me, and with it's consent
I'd like to make my journey worth noting, and in your hearts I hope it will last