I’ve lost my appetite
As I sit here alone
No comforting meal
No comfortable soul

I watch those around me
Sit there and chat
While I’m left to fend
For my pathetic self

I’d go on strike
But no one would care
I just don’t feel like eating
While all of them stare

They don’t think much of me
For I show no emotion
But inside I’m screaming
With no single motion

They’ll cast me aside
For I’m a lost cause
All that I’ve lived for
Has been what I’ve cost

I see my reflection
In a much darkened screen
For if anyone saw me
They’d call me obscene

A teen on the train tracks
He  very well welcomes death
But I will save him

I’ll be a martyr
I’ll be me
If I save this man
I will be free

I run to the train tracks
Before the train hits
I push him away
And I take the hit

Never knew the man
Never known who he was
Just goes to show
I've done what he does

The conductor cries
The family mourns
They say that I’ve killed myself
When I just saved a life that was

What truly matters
When everything will burn
What truly happens?
When I leave this earth

Criticize the optimist
Applaud the pessimist
It’s all sacrilege

What truly happens
When I leave the earth
What truly burns?
When nothing hurts

Criticize the living
Applaud the dead
It’s all without one night’s meds

I have no disorder
Everyone else does
I’m not a pessimist
‘Cause everyone else knows

What once was is no more
Like a melted snowman you left no trace
You ran away on Christmas Day
With all your belongings left in place

Your presents are still under the tree
Any day now is fine by me
Your presence is all I need
I want you back just to see

You’re probably gone forever
But I need you right now
If you don’t come back again
I’ll never feel the same again

It’s been seven years since you were seen
Wish you’d come back like Lazarus
They’ve pronounced you dead by now
Yet I thought you’d outlive the last of us

We brought your gifts to the memorial grave
The presents still wrapped up ‘till this day
I really don’t know what else to say
I wish you’d just come back again

Your presents are left corroded
In the sun and in the rain
Your presence was never seen
So mine will be the same…

I want it lost
I want it erased
I want it gone
Removed from my brain

There’s nothing worth remembering
I’ve seen it all and I want out
I want a fresh start
I don’t want to be wrong

It isn’t my fault
I’m more than unlucky
Open wound with salt
I wanna restart

I watched my world burn
Straight from these eyes
Everyone I’ve ever known
Is no longer alive

Seeing stars from in my bed
Repeating words inside my head
I seem to be forgetting things
The day before’s a mystery

All I have to know she’s there
Is an indentation of where she said her prayers
And why she left I’ll never know
And at her return I’ll know only to love her so

You’ve got me mixed up
With another man
I did not take what he’s taken
I do not understand
You’ve gotta be mistaken

I’ve never went to jail
But now my ship has sailed
I’ve never stolen anything
Yet now they’ve stolen me

What makes you think it’s me?
When there is no evidence to be
I try and try and try to plea
But they don’t really care about me

The other man is free
To do and think as he sees
Yet here I am as you see
There’s nothing more to me

Now that I am very old and weak in all my senses
I cannot smell the flesh that surrounds me
Deep within the morgue

Every time I stared into the eyes of the deceased
I grew more and more used to it
And I became numb to the thought
That they all had lives

But now it’s my turn and it’s my time to die
But I don’t want to say goodbye
For the fate of me will be nothing more
Than the fate of those whom I’ve sacrificed

I’ve embalmed all me family
Dug the grave where they’ll rot
But now that it’s my turn
I’ll dig my own spot

Staring down into the hole
In which I’ll be forgotten
Forever and ever and nothing more

It should be deep enough to keep me around
I have many regrets that will weigh me down

I jump, I cry, I lie there
Deep within the ground

Magma spat out like the lukewarm
Now lava has become its name
For it moves in a way that seems its own
Yet in essence, nothing has changed

A life lived beside a volcano
Leaves a body preserved in its wake
Unknowingly so, they’ll walk over you
The second the ground supports them and their hideous head

A power in numbers remain unused
And scattered are the whispers of the truth
Drawing parallels from the past
Another civilization fails to last

The prophets are all cast below
Yet myriad are the ones who know
The truth that still remains untold
Whilst those that roam are manifold

And many people claim to last
Yet generations came to pass
And all the remnants proceed to vote
To place the horns upon the goat

As beauty is chastised by elites
They replace the chasm with deceit
And spew their praises at the crone
Whilst demons elected to the throne

And when in power, we grow powerless
And this poisoned world became flowerless
And as each sin has turned to virtue
The credulous are all plagued to hurt you

Sloths slow elders to their grave
Whilst greed makes the wealthy cave
To envy is to be the same
As the homeless man who rants and raves

Yet lust consumes the weak of heart
And pride is taught right from the start
And wrath has learned to come in waves
And gluttons ***** through their days

And as the great deceiver lays his torch
The city has been set to scorch
Whilst some remain to seem unscathed
The multitude remain unsaved

Yet many turn to look the flame
And those that did did not remain
The refugees divide to sevens
As they seek refuge in the heavens

I can never keep my mouth shut
My life goes on, but all for what?
The more it hurts the more I cut
Today I’m going with my gut

The feeling I get
Staring out at space
I look in the mirror
But I can’t see my face

Paranoia deceives me
So I drank some mace
It’s sad that *****’s the last thing
I’ll ever taste

Nothing ever goes as planned
They’ve stretched me out like a rubber-band
It was only a matter of time before it breaked
Spread my ashes in the lake

Necessity gets the best of me
Impossible to secure my needs
Without responsibility
That I refuse to see

Never had a job
Never wanted one
Yet I look for someone
Who’s more responsible than me

Spoil me with your livelihood
Spoil me with money
Spoil me with kindness
That I’ll so easily abuse

I’ll drop you if you don’t give me
What I always wanted to
I know my words aren’t so great
But without me you would go faint
With your stupid friendly kind of hate

You never give me your money
You never give me your livelihood
You never give me your money
So I’ll drop you like it’s funny

You had the nerve to betray me
And all that I am
All for my wealth
And my soon widowed beldam

The gas is leaking out now
I can barely breathe
I bang on the window
But I’m too weak to recede

Frame it as a suicide
Would have rather been tortured
For months at a time
And I would never waste a dime on you

I put you in my will for a reason
I trusted you in many ways
But only in death
Can I know the truth

Lying in my bed
Wishing I were dead
Hanging by a thread
I’d fill my head with lead

But I’d never do it
I’d never commit
Nor would I admit
Why can’t I just quit?
Why must my life be full of it?

Who can I trust?
With what’s unjust
I’ll be in disgust
As I fill my head with lust

Dreaming of a painless death
Anytime will do
Dreaming of a final breath
For which I must pursue

My last words must be grand
For my life is what’s at hand
And they will not understand
My ultimate command

You’re someone that I never knew
Yet from what I’ve heard, you were you
You died before I was born
Yet the impact that you had was long overdue

I’ve only heard stories of what you have done
They say you're a winner but what have you won?
I’ll always believe that you were free
That you’ve passed it on to your son

I’ll never be the way you’d want me to be
And I know I’m still of my youth
And I’m not my best self
But I’ll try my best to tell the truth

I’ll pray for you

No escape
No escaping anxiety
No more praise
No more praising society

I’ve given up
I’ve let myself down
Falling through blank space
I wish I never really knew

I don’t want to go to heaven
I don’t want live on earth
I just want to go away
To a place much like a dream

I hope I’ll forget
I hope I’ll slip away
I hope it’s soon enough
For I don’t know who to trust

You have to stop
There can be no more
You have to drop
For there will be no more

Endings are beginnings
Is what they all say
Yet now that you're dead
I wish I could’ve filled you with led

You can cry
But there can be no more
You have to die
So there will be no more of you

“Let me live another day”
That’s what they all say
“Let me have another chance”
Is what they say before they’re lanced

I evermore know now
That Christ’s wounds will suffice
I shall wound myself no further
For He bore them all for me

A lifetime of sin contrived
Yet He has payed the price
I sing you now a requiem
For a suicide that will never be

Known for the bad
Fought for the good
Thrown in a jail
In all ways he could

Notorious for nothing
Nothing but his own
But when you look into his eyes
You stare into a stone

Remove the bad
Correct the youth
It’s not sad
It’s just the truth

No reflection
Of yourself
He’s not human
Just without

I am the only one
The only one that knows
I refuse to eat
I sit with my lunch alone

I only want what I can’t have
I’ll push away the thoughts at hand
Always waiting in a line
The only one without a life

Standing alone in the rain
Crying just to stay sane
If I’ll always be the only one
Then I’d be better dead

I am the only one
The only one that knows
That I won’t last another minute
Standing in the cold

No one cares
Not even me

I’m getting old
So no one wants me
Soon I’ll be all on my own

I’m losing hope
Now I cannot see
A family worth calling my home

Ugly children get the bench
Disorders make me jump the fence
The words that never get to live
No talents nor a look to give

Haven’t had an interview in years
All because I look through tears
Of pain and loss that I still fear
My parents’ death is all I see

I’m up in my dreams
Losing it all in memory

You are my pacemaker
Without you I will die
You are my lord and savior
Without you I will cry

You’re not like Jesus
You’re human like me
I don’t have much to say
But just wait and see

You are my pacemaker
Without you I will die
Just don’t ever leave me
Or I will get the knife

You’re not like Satan
You’re human just like me
I don’t have much to live for
Yet tomorrow starts another day
Without you

Never tries to make amends
The rules they break, they try to bend
Never wants a simple end
For without conflict, reprimand

Contort our beliefs
To mindless little thieves
Never would’ve grieved
Unless they’re part of me

Terrorize them till they break
Bomb them so they’ll stay awake
Make them bleed for heaven’s sake
Never wonder what’s at steak

The ****** of many
The death of the plenty
We blow up the married
For a peaceful contrary

Why should I participate?
In this pointless chase
If I am such a waste

I am no one’s favorite person
I am nothing to myself
I'm not living like I’m sane
I'm just living life in vain

Why should I try to get a life?
When life’s the one thing I don’t like

It’s not about the “if” and “why”
It’s about the when and how I die
There’s just no reason to say goodbye

One day I’ll be gone forever
No one should say never means never
One day I’ll be gone forever
No one should say never means never

I’ll lose it on a dime
It’s only a matter of time
‘Til the glorious day I die

You are a killer
For you’ve done it yourself
You’re a sinner
For you target the self

You’ve completed your vision
At the cost of your own
What has it come to?
You’ve contorted your wealth

For the love of your family
They mourn and repent
Why didn’t you tell them
Until you were spent

Life is a prism
You said it yourself
But now that it’s broken
The light has been sent

Let me pretend
That you are my friend
Let me believe
That you would have grieved
‘Cause when I am dead
There is no pretend
And there will be no end

You don’t exist
It’s all in my head
But when I am with you
We can pretend

Leave me be
He can’t hurt me
There’s nothing you can do
To follow through
‘Cause he’ll never leave me
So what if I have no one true

I don’t exist
It’s all in your head
But when you are with me
You are my friend

Come with me
Hide the truth
It’s time for you
To go…

I have no money
I’ve so little to give
If this is all there is
I don’t wanna live

Assassinate what’s left of me
For I can’t do it myself
Organs sell for pretty pennies
For I am in good health

Mentally I’m gone
I want it done today
Just take out the trash
There’s nothing more to say

Organs sell for pretty pennies
I want to be dead
Just store my remains
For there will be plenty

It feels like my life’s trapped in quicksand
The more that I try, the worse that I get
The more I believe that I can escape
The closer I feel to death

It’s almost like I’m surrounded by ocean
The longer I swim, the farther I get
The more that I see that there’s no sign of land
The closer I get to an end

It’s kinda like my life’s in the furnace
The longer I stay, the hotter it gets
The more that I feed it with coal and some air
The closer I feel to hell

It’s somewhat like I’m starting to lose it
The longer I look, the harder it gets
The more I believe that it was never there
The closer I get to forget

It’s almost like I’ve got dementia
The more that I think, the less I remember
The longer I live the further I get
From knowing ways I could escape from death

I wish I hadn’t done
What’s already been done
But it’s too late
I wish I hadn’t flown
Too close to the sun
But it’s too late

Sleepless nights
Of long lost times
Writing songs
Of meaningless rhymes
Behind bars
For violent crimes

They don’t care
That I show remorse
Or that I’m on my course
There’s no chance of a parole
So what is the point
Of maintaining some control

Gonna try to get the chair
This is something I can’t bare
There is no way that I care
I will do it on a dare

Gonna fight with all the guards
Gonna scream until I’m sore

Now I’m going to the room
Now I’m gonna face my doom
No last meal for me to taste
Gonna die for the benefit
Of the human race

“Billionaire died”
The newspaper says
“Father of two”
The obituary read

Sometimes I wonder
What are his regrets?
He lived a life
That most men respect

Many envied
His position
Yet now he’s dead
And in perdition

He had the money
To save millions
He had the power
To affect billions

Yet he sat up in his mansion
Crying over his possessions

Yet in the end
He made himself dead
From nothing to something
From something to nothing

Leaving everything behind
No material possessions left to find
Running away on two feet
It’s just me and the sidewalk streets

Missing posters with no reward
I’m worthless and without remorse
Stolen goods feed my empty soul
There’s just no goal worth fighting for

No phone to call home
No place to call home
No way to calm down
No way to climb out

The farther I go the less I fear
Of recognition, I shed a tear
There’s nothing more for you to hear
I’ve seen it all within a year

Salvaging what’s left of me
But I don’t even know what I’m looking for
I’m trying to get back to it
But there was nothing really left to it

I can’t describe how empty I feel
Trying to put my life back together
I can’t survive if nothing gets better
So I look to the stars and I kneel

Salvage the joy that I once felt
Salvage the memories that I still repent
Salvage the ways that keep me okay
For nothing really ends just the same

I can’t describe how empty I feel
Trying to put my life back together
I can’t survive if nothing gets better
So I look to the stars and I kneel

There’s nothing there
There’s nothing left
There’s nothing
Nothing

I was happier
Sometime in the past
And now I can’t remember
They never seem to last

I got myself a razor
Got myself a laugh
I’ve got a sense of mania
And I’ll treat it like a gaff

I cut into my soul
I do it every day
I wish it hurt more often
It’s my favorite escape

Relief is what I’m after
From all the pain before it
And all the pain thereafter

You’re a scab that never heals
The more I try to help you
The less I have to feel

It’ll never go away
For as long as I pick away
I want to tear you out
I need to help get out

For as long as I peel
The scars will never heal
No need to conceal
The scabs that make me squeal

I know it’s wrong
But it’s what I do
I don’t complain
I’ll laugh at you

All your possessions lost
Into the burning flame
You take a look around yourself
And wonder who's to blame

You hear the sirens scorch
Into your beating heart
You may have dodged a bullet
But your wife was not as smart

Everything you’ve ever had
Has burned to ash
Or melted to the core
Who would have ever known
Of the pain you had in store

One man you thought you knew
Had turned himself in
His motive was to ****
But not the one who did

He thought you’d lose your life
Trying to save her’s
So if she did escape
She would turn to him

I remember the days
And they drive me insane
Wish I could go back to them
But there’s no real way

Living life in the past
Never was as pretty as it seems
Ignoring the future and present
It’s a gift not worth being received

I remember the times
When everything rhymed
Everything made sense
And I took on the world

But now the world takes on me
It feeds off of me
It’s living off fear
And I’m the host

Decapitate the truth at hand
Climb out from your own quicksand
Disconnect from all your morals
Become the sinner you reject

Acknowledge that you’re in too deep
There’s nothing left for you to see
Your severed soul falls to its knees
No ethical ways, just to receive

I can’t remember all your names
The victims of my mental games
I love the pleasure that I gain
I let their lives go up in flames

No consequence
And no remorse
To justify
The choice is yours

No more need for a redeemer
Some may say that I’m a dreamer
No more need for a redeemer
Some may say that I’m a dreamer

The water was shallow
Yet you had me drown in it
Eyes set on the gallows
While my face had a frown on it

I see no connection here
No connection to the crime
The crime of existing
Will be punishment in time

Living with the fact that all your life
Was nothing but a dream
And now that you’re awake
You have nothing left to be

Hypocrisy reigns
With reason’s remains
And truth dies
Behind hands that are tied

Was the glass half empty
Or was it never full
Who’ll fill this glass
For my forsaken soul

We grow close
We grow old
I will crumble
Under shattered souls

Betrayal derailed whatever we had
I’m gone now, a blast from the past
You stab my back until I can’t get up
I’ll never be me again

Stained glass in new church windows
Grab a stone and break some widows
It’s never too late to stick the knife in
You’ll never be sane again

We disperse
We divide
I will fall
And you will rise

Got bodies in the floorboard
Got shackles in the shed
For if you ever notice me
You’ll end up being dead

You’ll shed a tear
I’ll drink some beer
I’ll live on fear
No way to steer

Got jars upon jars
Of fresh new cremations
For there’s no more room
To give in to temptations

You’ll shed a tear
I’ll drink some beer
I’ll live on fear
No way to steer

Blessed are the meek
So easily abused
So I’ll just sit here
And be oh so easily amused

I’m on a path to isolation
I’m never gonna speak again
I have no need for communication
‘Cause in the end it’s all in our head

I’m gonna shut you out
I’m gonna leave school
I’m gonna go to bed
And never get out

If you want to help me
Slide some food beneath the door
I’ll no longer ask you
Cause then I’d have to speak again

I’ll just do nothing
I’ll sleep and cry and cry again
I’ll just lie there and think
At least I’m not the one who's dead

I’ll never get up
I’ll wither my way into hell
I know I’m not living
All I know is I’m not dead

Force all the thoughts out
I don’t want to feel good
I just want to shut out
The world and everything that could

Forget that I’m living
Just make sure to feed me while I’m here
I’ll lock the door now
And you’ll pretend that I’m not here

Smile for the camera
Make it seem like you’re alive
When in reality
You are without energy

Caught moments before disaster
Before the lightning strikes
We have a glimpse at what’s left
Before he died

No flash photography at the funeral
No cracking jokes or drinking wine
It’s your funeral, so make it worth my time

Smile for the casket
Make him seem like he’s alive
When in reality
He already died

Surrounded by fools
They’ll all die someday
They’re all goons
They’ll all fall one day

“Try some” they say
“It’ll soothe your sorrow”
“Try some today”
“No need to borrow”

Lend me your soul through some drugs
Let’s blend into oblivion
Seen through the barrel of a gun
Just fly me to the sun

The way pigs snort
The sheep will follow
The dogs arrest
Them all tomorrow

They all light the flame
And laugh as I fly to it
I wish I knew another way
I wish I hadn’t flown astray

Everyone’s a butterfly
But me, I must run and hide
So far away from here

I’m the moth
I’m starving and alone
Nobody’s clothes are near to bite on
I wish I could pollenate with the other guys
Makes me want to lay and cry

Cut off my wings
Make it so I’ll have to give up
Can’t keep letting myself down

I want to be ugly like the moth
Then it will all make sense
But tell me I’m a butterfly
And then I’ll fly away
How could someone be so deranged as to like me?
Or soulless enough to lie

I need help
And I need you
But if you go
I will too

Stay with me
No need to worry
Just don’t leave
Or you’ll be sorry

Make one wrong move
And it’ll be your last
I’ve got you now
And I’ll get you back

Why are you crying?
Was it something I said?
What are you waiting for?
Go ahead and play dead

I know I’ve done wrong
I know I’ve messed up
I’m ready to go
And I’m sorry

Wish I could move on
Just move beyond
But I’m stuck here
And I’ve got everything to fear

Traffic in a dim lit city
Some call me a ****** kitty
Just tell the police
They’ll know exactly what to do

No names only faces
No thoughts only laces
Drugged into the dead of night
Wish I could take off in flight

How long will this go on
Until they don’t want me anymore
I’ve gotta be useless someday
Someday they won’t use me
But when?

I wear flannels in the summer
To hold my insecurities in
Cause the times I cut my arm
Were no one’s business but mine

White scars scream surrender
I’ll be dead before they fade
So I wear different color flannels
For different kinds of days

The last thing I see before bed
As I’m reaching for the lights
Is a reflection of my past self
A reflection of the lies

There is nothing wrong with me
Or the silly things I did
There is nothing left to see
I saw it all as a kid

The mental scars sweep in
After I’m forced to see what I did
And I’ve seen things I hated then
And things I learned to hate in the end

Summertime flannels
They all ask why
“Aren’t you hot in that?”
As I’m dying on the inside

There’s too many scars to count
Too many times I’ve slipped away
To the corner of my room
And cried the night away

They say it gets better
“It gets better with time”
Yet never means never
I’ll end it on a dime

One wrong move
One wrong slip of the wrist
To cut into my soul
And bleed out into the abyss

The sun is bleeding out
To the clouds
The vibrant colors fading
To the ground

On a hill
Sitting still
Listening to the sound
Knowing the last thing you’d hear
Was a gun

The rustling of leaves
The chirping of birds
You tell her you love her
As your last words

She declines, you resign
And you fall to your knees
A bullet in your brain
Buzzing like bees

Sun down
Fall down
To the ground

Stuff up my body
Mangle my skin
Chalk up my bones
I’m deader than him

You might think it’s wrong
But I get to decide
I’ll be dead by then
So cut me deep inside

Formaldehyde
What’s the downside?
Come out and hide
When’s the right time?

I’ll pay you a fortune
Hope it won’t cause you displeasure
It’s one man’s wish
Another man’s treasure

I’ll be dead by then
But it’s your job to remember
That I want to be known
As the taxidermy man

Keep on driving
Don’t stop moving
This is a threat
This is a threat

The taxi’s driving in the rain
The tensions driving me insane
I just don’t wanna die in vain
Yet still I’m running from the pain

Drop me off
Drop me off by the bridge
Wake me up
Wake me up when I sleep

It’ll be a long way ‘til the drop
Nothing’s gonna make me stop
Gonna listen to the sounds
As I fall and hit the ground

Water isn’t gonna save me
There’s nothing you can to do to stop me
This is a threat, this is a threat

We reach the bridge and I jump off
But looking up I see the man
The driver’s falling off as well

Looks like he felt a similar pain
Guess we’ll both just die in vain

Goodbye mister taxi man