I wear flannels in the summer
To hold my insecurities in
Cause the times I cut my arm
Were no one’s business but mine

White scars scream surrender
I’ll be dead before they fade
So I wear different color flannels
For different kinds of days

The last thing I see before bed
As I’m reaching for the lights
Is a reflection of my past self
A reflection of the lies

There is nothing wrong with me
Or the silly things I did
There is nothing left to see
I saw it all as a kid

The mental scars sweep in
After I’m forced to see what I did
And I’ve seen things I hated then
And things I learned to hate in the end

Summertime flannels
They all ask why
“Aren’t you hot in that?”
As I’m dying on the inside

There’s too many scars to count
Too many times I’ve slipped away
To the corner of my room
And cried the night away

They say it gets better
“It gets better with time”
Yet never means never
I’ll end it on a dime

One wrong move
One wrong slip of the wrist
To cut into my soul
And bleed out into the abyss

You took what you could get
Never gave what was found
You were never one to bet
Yet the gun made your last sound

Although it never was your intention
You were already set to die
In the fire you set
On your castle of lies

So much for inheritance
The one good thing that could derive
From the kind of world you lived in
The one you burnt alive

With nothing to be given
And no family to reprise
You made quite a fortune
Worth nothing when you died

My body is a temple
A temple made of pencils
And the longer that I live
The duller that it gets

So I take out my sharpener
And press it to my skin
And if anyone notices
I’ll commit life’s greatest sin

If I were a pencil
I’d fill myself with led
‘Cause in the end
Graphite will pretend

But since I am human
I’ll have to wait it out
Or at least I’ll wait
Until I break again

On the Moon there is a crater
Upon which I stand
Like the crushed pale skull
Atop the last grain of sand

One small step for man
Too many falls to decide
It’s the undiscovered land
Upon which I hide

One giant leap off a cliff
In a park with a lake
Never once did I question
What’s left at stake

And the sun is a fire
Around which I’ll burn
It’ll outlast me
I just wish it ended on my terms

Lying in my bed
Wishing I were dead
Hanging by a thread
I’d fill my head with lead

But I’d never do it
I’d never commit
Nor would I admit
Why can’t I just quit?
Why must my life be full of it?

Who can I trust?
With what’s unjust
I’ll be in disgust
As I fill my head with lust

Dreaming of a painless death
Anytime will do
Dreaming of a final breath
For which I must pursue

My last words must be grand
For my life is what’s at hand
And they will not understand
My ultimate command

Lock the door with yourself inside
There’s no one home
You’ve done this many times

Take out the same old blade
Encrusted in your crimson guise
You’ll never truly be the same
You know things never change

Scattered bloodied tissues
Meticulous, deliberate
Purposeful and keen

Your blade is dull
Your cup, overflowing
You’ve never gone this far before
You’ve rendered life annul

Something about the way
The cut goes from white to red
I can’t help but stay
As the blood fills the crevices

Drooling pools into the sink
I remember it so vividly
When scabs turn into scars of pink
Then white again

Oh, what will they think if they find out?
They’ll think I’m back in that place again
The place where I don’t want to live
A place where there’s nothing more to give

I remember searching for the rope
Reminiscing all the ways I used to cope
I seem to be fixated evermore
On breaking skin but not the core

Why can’t I be happy and still cut?
Why can’t they just keep their mouths sewn shut?
There just isn’t any more that I can do

I get so bored I think I’m going to come full circle once again