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Ivan May 10
Sea-
So near,untouched
Yet I feel
Your cold.

Your jagged surface,
A blackened sapphire-blue.
Snow peaks drift like islands
in your remote expanse.

Sea,I am not your lover.
But I gaze at you
With the same eyes.
Ivan May 11
The glass and steel high-rises
I always harbor hostility.
They stand like soldiers ranked before a city gate,
like guns aimed at strangers,
asserting their strength.

To shade the high-rises—there must be trees.
lush trees,
ancient trees—like bouquets
rest in tank barrels.
They cannot withstand the iron cold,
cannot withstand the searing burn,
but they can loosen,
the guard I keep within.
Ivan May 9
When joy and peace are mine,
I call death an end-
the close of happy things.
But when my body writhes in pain,
I see in death
suffering taken to its utmost.

The former bears the arrogance of distance,
the pride born of safety.
The latter-
pure cowardice.
Is death the final terror of humankind?

Illness must descend,
now and then-
to remind me I am small.
Identity, future, fame-forgotten.
Solely the urgency to ease the pain,
and the dread of more.
Ivan May 17
Flowers,terrifying flowers.
A beautiful corpse,
plucked in the season of reproduction,
severing the cycle of life.
From eternal renewal
to something consumed.
No fate feels abandonment
more fiercely than the flowers.

The first to use flowers as a metaphor for love—
how I long to know you,
and admire your genius.
To pursue the process, not the result;
brief and fleeting,
and still adored by many.
Ivan May 15
It is not a farewell
when only I am leaving.
Leaving that life, I doubted
if I ever belonged.

The world moves on where I can’t see.
People grow old—
or they don’t.

If there were another life—
better or worse—
I would become another,
or become a god,
being, and thinking
through organs not my own.
Ivan Jun 23
Bull
his hanging swinging testicles
of his fellows lost them
for productivity.
he is not luckier keeping them
for harassment.

watching a bullfight,
victims center my camera.
whoever plays the role,
we once bled fighting a bull.
we still do.

and it keeps emerging
the exact way we bully in school.
Ivan May 11
Time seems frozen.
I live a life of routines,
aging,
alive,yet slowly turning to dust.

In this halted moment,
no animals wander,
no decay occurs,
only wind scattering ashes,
ashes of my fading flesh.

How I wish time could pause,
allowing a single act,
a single feeling,
to repeat a thousand, ten thousand times,
awaiting oblivion’s gentle aging.

— The End —