My heart is filled with happiness and joy
because deep inside me lies a baby boy.
I want to give him all I can,
and raise him to be a real man
There'll be times of rocking ang nursery rhymes,
but I also know there'll be plenty of hard times.
I'll do the best to help him through,
to keep him safe, there's nothing I won't do.
I can't wait to hold him nice and tight,
and charish the occation he sleeps through the night.
I look forward 'till the days I sing your birthday song,
and to teach you right from wrong.
So I tell myself, "Be patient my dear,"
"It's not too long until he's here."

What on Earth could I have done to you,
to deserve the way that you treat me like you do...
It must have been something extremely bad and or wrong,
for you to still blame me after it's been so long...
I'm tired of playing your sick twisted game,
It's time to step out of your darkness and out of MY SHAME...
THE TIME HAS COME for me to set you free and let you go,
But before I do there's something I want you to know...
I'm not to blame for what happened to me as a little girl,
what happened to me would make anyone want to hurl...
I'm not to blame for what happened to me when i was just a little kid,
I did nothing WRONG, it was you my mother who DID...
It's a mother's duty to protect their children from men like that,
even if it means having to use a baseball bat...
You did nothing, that's just as bad as touching me too,
For that it won't be me, It'll be God who judges you...
All that's left is time for one final tear to fall from my eyes,
and stop listening to your lame *** excuses and lies...
I now say my final words i have to say to you,
I FORGIVE you, may God someday forgive you too....

It ain't my mission to convince you to believe him, her or me for that matter,
My mission is to speak the truth no matter whose reality it might shatter...
MY pain is real and the truth I spit is to help ME heal,
NO ONE can steal how I chose to express the way I FEEL...
The truth hurts and it's best it remain hidden,
Said no one to who the HURT was given...
You'd think after all this time, like the tide my paid would resend,
But how could it when my abusers get to live in a world of pretend...
It ain't my mission to convince you to believe him or her,
But how could you IGNORE the pain you know i suffer?

Is happiness natural for EVERYONE to feel,
I'm skeptical wondering if it's something even real...
It's something I've too long been denied,
something I've always longed for deep inside...
The only person to blame is me,
I've grown into my own worst enemy...
She was never happy with her life, why should i be,
by her actions alone i grew into the person I know is me...
Changing my life turned out to be more than just a "lil tough,"
just wanting to change has NEVER been enough...
Her demon's fell onto my shoulders before I could become my own person,
why i let myself go in that direction, I can't give you a reason...