The smell of whiskey was still on your breath,
I was scarcely an adult, eighteen
How could this world be so mean?
Our relationship had the taste of death.
I prayed to G-d this would end tonight,
Mostly likely in yet another fight

No place to stay or family to turn to,
You held the key to my existence here.
This is the haunting fact that I fear
And in your drunken rage you see right through
Me, this is the last time I will feel
The sting of your hand,
                                     then a flash of steel

The end of your life but the start of mine.
The crimson blotch coming from your chest
Was my freedom, from that moment the rest
Would be mine to take, I knew I would be fine.
Quickly I hold my breath and walk away
For the last time, it was now your turn to decay

Behind the shadow of my mother’s past,
I felt the pain of what she had become.
Left with four children she had to think fast.
A forced happiness in the day, gruesome

By the night, a painted face topped with red
Lipstick, she tucked us in and soon was gone.
Little did we know, she too was in bed.
This is the story of my mother’s con.

A smile never left her face but we
Knew that pain swam behind her eyes all day.
Eventually we knew she would flee
And secretly I knew that I would pay.

Now in the shadow of my mother’s past
I pray and hope that this life will not last

At fifteen you changed my life forever.
You were a surprise, a product of violence.
I said no to him but yes to never
Letting you go. I left you in silence

A mistake I will always regret cause
in the end I lost more than just a part
of me, and everyday I see my flaws
and sadly I know deep down in my heart

I will never be good enough for you.
This is my sincere reason for my choice
That last sacrifice was my gift to you
When you’re older you’ll know it was the right choice

Every time I hear your name my heart jumps
Into my throat. And when I think of you
my heart cracks a little more and I
can’t help but remember the agony
of losing you, has it really been eight  
Years? It feels like yesterday you were here
But now I find myself searching for your
face in everything. You would be nineteen,
Off at college ready to start your life.
Instead I struggle each day to bring up
My memories of you. Was it me or

You who told that joke? I can’t remember now
The feeling of staying up laughing
our heads off till three AM will never
leave me. I sometimes pray that by the morning I
will have forgotten everything and the
pain will have melted away, but how could
anyone wish to forget you? There are
no answers for why you are gone, some things
must stay as questions. now days blur into
weeks, months, years and I’m still here and your not
and every time I forget and try to
call you, it will be the same terrible
realization like every time, that
no one will answer and I’ll be back where I started,
trying to remember, to put the pieces
together and once again pick myself
up, thank you for your friendship, I will hold
you in my heart forever because that’s
how special you became to me. So, this
is my farewell to you,
                                    Goodbye my friend