Walking meekly in the shadows, avoiding nakedness,
this vestibule of self-preserving isolation, my 'padded cell',
has become my buffer against the raging tide of life.

This makeshift home has no place for exaggerated emotions.
Nothing comes in and nothing goes out; always the safest option
for the perfect existence. The gatekeeper controls all activity.

Shock, pain and denial brought me to this desolate place,
watching myself, the outsider looking in, as my soul was *****.
abuse was the joker who played a hand in this game of cards.

How easy it's been to sit back and pretend to myself and
the world that I'm satisfied with all that life is offering.
who was I trying to convince? No I.

So many times I wished I could undo the done, turning back time
to where earthly utopia was intact, escaping this cage,
running carefree like an innocent child on a first new adventure

The hurt child lays dormant, but her will does not die,
she beckons and teases me to test my toes in the strong
currents of life's raging tides, seeking out its throng.

She reminds me of a halcyon era of innocence,
before laughter and confidence eluded me.
A time when I played, thinking only of the day.

Friendship, acceptance and self discovery have healed me.
Trusting my inner child, I gently turn the key, unlocking, tentatively.
I feel alive, seeing the light so bright and inviting.

Choosing freedom, pensively, I take one last look at my dwelling place
giving thanks for the sanctuary she offered me,
taking my first baby steps back into society.

Carried on the swirls of the tide to wherever they take me,
I am now Mistress of my own destiny.

Rebirth