Eleven years have passed
What may as well be a lifetime

He feels these constant feelings of hopelessness
"It is depression"
Says the man
Engulfed by his ironically white coat

Time is all there is to push him forward
His thoughts, his feelings, his hopes
They are drowning
He is drowning; sinking into a pool of viscous waste

Surrounded by mates he feels enlighten
Blood begins pumping into his dying heart
Excitement and thrills arrive
Clad in their armour and ready to pounce

But spasms
Like leaking faucets they flow, stream
Gush out without a sign of stopping
The shot is too far and the javelin of speech prematurely shoots

The crowd goes silent
Parting, after glances are passed
Those of disgust
Maybe annoyance

He knows what has happened
Now he must fall
Back down, he submerges himself
Into the abyss of darkness and desolation

Social affairs are his greatest fear
An unconquerable enemy who neither eats nor sleeps
It holds a double edged swords
Perpetually polished with his soul as a whetstone

His entire world is crashing down on him
There is nothing he can do
The truth is
Despair and despondence are his only friends

This feeling
These feelings
He has no help
He can not control

He is left to die
His bottle of tranquilizers
It will serve more use
Than the man in white could ever have imagined

A fear is growing
The fear is nigh
When one is struck
It shakes their spine
Such a useless emotion
Sometimes I wish it'd die

He picks up the glass again;
Piercing shards

Remainders of the night
Evidence of affliction

Tossed away
Once Again

To be forgotten
'till tomorrow

He feels the injustice
He is aware of its presence

Never taught to run
Never taught to speak

He stays, basking in his pain
In loneliness he cries

In neglect, he wipes his own tears;
Pats his own back

Using a comforting tone, he reassures himself
Saying everything's going to be alright

His life is agony
His time is short

He will depart, soon
In a pursuit of a better world

Never to have a relationship
Only a love

She'll drive him through boulders
Cause his head to throb

Burn his wallet;
like a lighter and gasoline

She'll put him to asleep
He'll make her keep him awake

She'll take him down that road
He'll depart her, and the rest of the world

They caused this,
She'll be to the blame

They can plead 5th
She can be scorned

Never did they see
Never did they look

What's to find when not searching?

They'll continue their life...

Their son won't
He has left them...
For something they never knew how to provide:
Compassion

They heard the word
Even experienced

Never provided.
Pure Narcissism.

Their greatest possession is now gone
They lost sight of their true prerogative

They will never know
He never knew

An endless riddle
Look at yourself.
Solve.

Whispering winds
Shallow lines

Curved in simplicity
Engraved with agony

Gasping for air
Hidden beneath

Covered by shame
Coated by society

They scream
Together cry out

Some, selfless and true
Question
They ask her
What could cause my existence

She diverts attention
Hiding tears and truth

I need an end
I need bounderies

Block me
Stray away

I am no friend
Only pain

Step back
Think

Blissful agony
Beautiful pain

Taking over the soul
Of an innocent life

They may have lived
Instead they stare

Engraved with identity
Lost within a path

Forgotten though time
Pondered daily

A dying glow
A quenching glass

Biterness so sweet
On such a day

Pain is all I feel
Pain is all I know

When my life will end
I sure would **** to know

How ever shall I do this?
Oh dearest, what shall I do?

I am asking for your input
So please, now do not be rude

I could dive up off a bridge
And hope for the very worst

Feel wind fly through my hair
and experience the rebirth

I could jump off the tallest building
Make headlines of the post

A brilliant view to never speak of
Says some fellow over toast

Or sure, I could just go pain free
And take the easy way out;
OD

But why be normal
Why go with the flow
I will not even live
To hear of your groans

Oh heck! I could, I would, I should
But this is crazy and I'm not thinking how I should

I've got the motive, and most certainly have the brain
Sure as heck, I have got the pain

But who has got the time:
To rid of their time?

So please, just sing with me:
Life is not free,
N'or is it exempt from misery

I have so much to learn
Yet so little to share with the world

Therefore,
As I type and retype these words,
I question the direction- as well as motive

When the sun peers through the mustered drapes
My heart collapses, and my body once more refuses to rise

If past is any indication of the future
Then I'm in for hell

Pain is exponential
And so are the years that flutter continually by

The life I once had dreamed of
I now must  ordeal

My home is under the covers of a weathered blanket
-the sound of classical bellowing from a table, not far yonder

And as I work and wonder at the world
I count down the days to an inconceivable  dream

Let me share with you something; ever so true
No emotional pain surpasses that of someone who dwells utterly alone

We are social creatures
And without a friend or family member worthy of mention in the world,
It is a struggle within itself to be alive

May it be then,  that my prayers for a relative happiness be answered
and that with you, the deep peace of fallen dreams be ignited by the flames of love