He bursts in with an armload of mangoes
in various stages of perfect, rotten, or too soft. One rolls to the floor and
without hesitation, he picks it up and bites in, luscious unwashed, juices dripping down his chin.
"It's warm from the sun," he says, "and the ground. I found a lot of these on the ground."

I still my tongue and watch him eat it whole, like he eats all of life.

I asked him recently if he thought I was crazy, as some do.
He said no, I want all the same things.
I wished I could tell him how I always washed my mangoes and wiped my chin,
I thought if I wore a sweater and a slip and a hat at the right times, life would turn out okay.

I'd like to call him, tell him how the wind is blowing hair across my face now.

Instead, I sit quietly, in the backwoods of Virginia
eating an unwashed, unpeeled mango
with the juices dripping down my chin.

**** them all
I'll wear what I want and my nose ring too
that principal ***** is scared of me anyway
she looks every direction except mine
I try to walk near her in the hall
so she'll see I've busted the dress code
she's good at getting really engrossed in a conversation when I'm near
like the waitress at Applebys that looks right through me when I wanna order
people are so good at looking right through you it's scary
I can't look through anything
I see it all
I see my footprints on the sidewalk
******' followin' me
I see ******' atoms splitting
I see all the colors of light in the air
but sometimes I just see black
I go to fancy department stores
just to pull out clothes and let 'em drop
nobody ******' looks at me
except they're wondering if they'll have to call the police
maybe someday they'll have to call the police
then they'll see me
maybe for the first and last time
**** them all
sometimes I walk behind someone and grunt at 'em
I giggle when it scares 'em
but they always step aside and don't look at me
I just keep walking with those footsteps followin' me
and those colors turned to black in my eyes
I do like the **** who knocked me down that time
instead of steppin' aside
I like him fine
at least he saw me
at least he looked at me when he punched me
even if he did give me a nosebleed
and I lost my ring
tore it right out of my left nostril
and now there's a ******' scar
the janitor bandaged it up for me so I could go to class
I love that janitor dude
he's ******' awesome
he gives us *** and has a black cape hangin' on his wall
we can put on if we're in that kinda mood
it feels good to wear that cape
like Captain ******' Invisible
sometimes it takes the black away
sometimes the *** brings the colors back
I'd rather skip class and smoke *** with the janitor
but we're reading The Metamorphosis
now that's a ******' great book
a ******' nobody who becomes a monstrous vermin overnight
nobody's gonna forget that that's for sure
I wonder if Kafka locked himself in his room
like I do
I could turn into an insect and no one would know
since they don't look at me
well if they do look they don't see me anyway
I guess I am a vermin to them
the principal who doesn't wanna see me
and my sister who pretends she doesn't know me at school
and even my mom who only looks at me
to make sure I'm not wearing profanities on my shirt
**** that
******' big huge vermin ******' creepin' up behind you and grunting
and nobody even sees it comin'
that's a giggle right there
nobody sees it comin'
'cause nobody sees me
nobody sees me at all

Called again into the night
by the three am goddess
on her winged flight.

She drapes tail feathers ‘cross my mind;
She rings her bell
and says “its time.”

Who is this waif, just out of sight,
whose siren call
breaks dream’s delight?

Calliope, Erato too -
Sing Euterpe!
I know the tune.

Show the way down night’s dark hall
to the inner hell
where true love falls.

Terpsichore, swoop round me, do.
Dance memories,
each dressed in blue.

Is that you, dear Melpomene,
come to trump
your sister queens?

Your song, of all, so clear and true -
hold tight my hand,
I’ll go with you.

But wait, whose lantern shines ahead?
Dear Clio knows,
she’s made my bed.

And to it now I shall return.
The words are down,
they’ll no more burn.

I’ll lie awake no more to muse
upon the love
I’ve yet to lose.

I cry a river of tears that lead to the ocean,
and find salvation in water
as it flows from and toward me,
healing the violence of all that has gone before
and cleansing the silence of all that shall come ahead.
I cry to fill the rift in me,
the place in the depths where my spirit cleaved.
I cry to soothe the ache in me,
the wave of weeping that has no source.
I cry to claim my woman's mantle,
adrift and floating in the endless sea.