pale clouds of Queen Anne's lace
float breezily atop the green
like foam sits on the ocean waves
gently bobbing, they lend the air
their floral scent

A gentle hand, with reassurances
steadying the heart under a barrage
of threats, of anger
my shield against the world's waves of insatiable hate
His love
and constant kindness
deflected barbs of my fury
the icy indifference I affected after every argument

The world is full of fathers
who don't know how to love
I'm one of the lucky daughters, with sunlight
in his gaze
Pride, delight in me
and in each of my siblings.

Every time I whisper, "Dad, I miss you"
I am telling him
I learned from you, how to love
to stand my ground
that family must always come first
You taught me
laughter
joy in the simplest of things
to forgive flaws in others
and how to forgive and give of myself.

like chunks of magnetized iron
we should by conventional wisdom
attract mutually
but
I'm breathing, moving
a chunk of organic carbon
instead
of pulling extremes
into unity
I flee
and chase instead a molten core
closely resembling my own
wishing
dreaming of clouds
and flaming gases
so bright, even my subconscious rambles
lose their stench
of fear

A funny thing, the tell-tale sting
of sharp-pointed leaves in flesh
Or a small stone loose in traveller's boots
leading to grumbled curses

Holly's bare trace I easily erase
letting Time heal small red pinpricks
The pebble freed, I pick up speed
-til I catch my legs in thistle.

Wander through a dark room, groping
always thinking, always hoping
Mechanic red flash, toneless recordings

A handwritten note lies carefully folded,
can't hold it
creased to perfection, it gathers dust

No message carries your voice,
your choice
Our paths long parted, and yet
to forget
seems too painfully real a possibility

A world of treason, torture, lies
at the edge of a cliff
unburied
wrapped in
years of a loving,
a wordless deceit

shapeless
on fire from
the first
brings with it
shame,
and knowing defeat.