My smile was once fueled by you.
The corners of my lips tightened,
descending into a stationary frown.
Butterflies mutating into ******* wasps inside my gut.
They sting my stomach lining,
fill my veins with bitterness. (poison)
I am old now,
bones rotted to the core.
Invisible wrinkles layer my skin.
Baby come back and light up my world like a candle again.

I have this tendency to squeeze my way into spaces
that were never meant to contain me.
I'm a solid, attempting to shape-shift to fit
your liquid form.
You're free;
I'm stuck in ruts.
I will risk losing myself in you or anyone...
Getting tangled up in several arms quells my desire to die
(I don't know why.)

When I long for eyes to get lost in,
                                                          I still think of yours.

So full of passion. We haven't made eye contact in a while, but the goosebumps I got when I held your gaze are still fresh on my skin.
                                                         You left traces of your intensity inside of me.

When I long for excitement,
                                                     ­    I still think of your lips.

Perfectly arranged words slipped effortlessly from your mouth, straight to my ears. Your lips paved the way to whatever you wanted, although we both needed it. You kissed me as if I were the last ounce of oxygen left in your atmosphere. (I was, for not quite long enough.) You approached me with the power of a ferocious storm, the beauty of a calm sea. Gentle, yet forceful. How can that be?

                                                       You left traces of your intensity inside of me.

When I long for a reason to love my future,

                                                        I still think of (y)our past.

The good; the bad. At least I took part in it. I've been holding on to a foolish daydream of sparks igniting once more.
                                                      You left traces of your intensity inside of me.

We build our castles with planks of secrets,
boards of lies.
Our safety net constructed of rubber bands that have been
snapped a million times.
I am to blame for expelling her from your mind.

Is she still there darling?
Possibly behind our affair? (somewhere?)

I hope when you reminisce our time spent together, you see it so vividly that she can almost taste the dishonesty on your breath.

There should be no room for me, so I've nothing to do but leave.

Jealousy is the root of all emotions.
The devil is inside my bones,
every crevice.
When you chose to let me give myself to you,
you inhaled a portion of my evils.
The second our lips touched I transferred guilt.
It will arise whenever you seek out to pleasure her most sacred places.
you will
                                                    taste,
 ­                                                           smell,­
                                                                ­     hear,
                                                           ­                  feel,
and see me as you are exploring every inch of her.


When I asked you to stare into my eyes, I planted shame
just behind your eyelids.
While admiring her nakedness,
you'll picture the way my hair draped over your face the first time we made love.
Your fingertips will glide across her lifeless skin,
wishing to be intertwined with my  limbs.
She'll reach in for a kiss,
You'll give in.
                                        How loveless.

I never was the type to long for much, as I was born poor.
Into a house and not a home;
Into arms without a pulse.
Her embrace was hostile.
The love of a mother should be so brilliant.
Without, her daughters became fragile.
Her tongue was a whip that she beat us with all day.
The monster in her head didn't allow for nurturing to take place.
Now I long for every touch to fill the void she left behind.
It is expanding with every passing day.
My problem's cannot be cured, for I have never had a Mother's love.