I'm chewing soil
my jaw is breaking out
lips are ****** and the
rubber band on my
wrist means nothing since
I can't seem to get
out my calculator and
be okay with legs that
don't take me out
but carry my eyes to
swim in filth

syrupy brown eyes
mom might take pills
can't read your neck

abandoned cottage
in occupied woods
brother does pull ups
too young to care

rust and caramel
apple pie in the oven
you made the crust

took ten tries to park on the curved street
can picture the house now
piano pieces on deck
drove for chocolate cookies

sitting in
northridge traffic
to show I care

four students
printed out sudoku
ac unit whirrs in the room

the disappointment pressed
slacks
too sunk for
integrals and L'Grange

krooser warms my desk
eyelids drooping
sentences left in the birches

why do I see your hair in every song?
your outline in each sunset
your name like mango
in white sand

lavender skies and
paintings on an apricot wall
in a restaurant
with pad thai burning my throat
that reminds me of your hands

even in paradise
the flowers match your eyes

crème colored shirt
covers hazelnut skin
I envy the arm
wrapped around her waist
a stranger with a smile
like meadow butterflies

my face
a sun dried plant
as three sets of eyes
search for any clue

I am eager to leave yet
linger with the thought of
meeting you

driving home
take me to simpler times of
doing homework in the back
of a friend's minivan
when late was 10pm
and hope was closer
than the stars

wanting to hug
a girl with
perfect hair

heat rises from the strands
of my worn hoodie

I have mapped out the grooves of your face
each line and crease etched in
brewed herbs to burn my chest

looking at you with the moon half empty
the shape of your brows
nose twitches and puffy lips

staring even a pretty forehead
a band or show so I can stand beneath you longer
shallows of notes in conversation

cherry eyelids dart
into frail english
quick wrists
walking a few inches below

I go to grab ice and see you washing pots
steam rising to your masked face
making conversation over the noise
don't hear a thing but nod in your smile

taking orders with
missing holes in my shirt
rows of sandpaper graze my fingers as I
wait for a red badge

shoes strapped and *****
warm air hits
sitting and reading
in the dingy light