i stare at the wall
paralyzed
comatose
wondering if you truly love me
and i you
because we both
know that everything ends
and yet we're counting on this to last
indefinitely

some days
we can't even look at each other
but the beauty is that
tomorrow we won't be able to look away

because you are everything i wish i could be
patient and kind
while i am unpredictable and vivacious
full of the anger you wish you could produce

sometimes i get scared of finding someone else
who i love more than you
other times,
i get terrified
because i know that i won't

one thing is for sure
my unbitten nails
are proof that you
have helped me
so much more
than you could ever know

you kissed my coffee stained lips this morning
and i swear to god
that coffee didn't taste half as sweet
when you had gone

But now every song is yours
And instead of being tied to you
There's a rope around my neck
Dragging me through our memories
Making it impossible to breathe

I haven't written a poem about you
Not even allowed myself to think the words
For fear of retribution
I have kept you a secret
But I am tired
And I have been beaten down
Into a raw, ****** pulp inside
Over something that should mean nothing
To anyone else
So forgive me for believing
That people's opinions don't really matter
And I'll forgive her
For not being able to get over herself
(Because, darling, she's always had that problem)