She tripped over her feet, and over her words twice as much.
Graceful only in combat boots, and most comfortable
With her hair down, face naked.
She dreamed of flying, so fiercely and so often
That hardly anyone expected her to come down.
She had nothing, but wanted everything
But there was no one by her side; she was alone.
For people tried to escape when they thought she was far gone,
But she always remembered those who left.
She needed someone to stay, to help her, for she was trapped.
Eyes that had so easily and so often been lost to wonder and passion
Faded, hard and cold.
And the voices, the voices of both people she knew and those she did not,
Screamed, "Just one more hit, just one more cigarette,
Just a little blood, just to feel a little bit."
"You are nothing to us," they said. "You are just a loss."
And so, I am her protector. I keep the voices in check.
When she goes in for another hit, another drink,
I stop her, for hopes of tomorrow.
I lay her down as she holds her head and screams, "I can't do this."
I whisper, "You will be free again someday, I promise."
And she believes me, for I will not lie to her.
I am the only one she trusts.
Because she is trapped, and I can free her.

We've come full circle
From intertwining hearts
Connected mind body and soul
To being strangers
Who can't think of one thing to talk about
I feel myself changing again
And I think if you'd let me show you
We'd have more in common
Than different
Again

I lost the moon
When I was looking for stars
That's okay
Because you did too

Now we both need to start
Looking for the sun instead
Sadly, we won't look at each other

Dazed
Stumbling through
My formerly put-together life
Fallen around me
This is the first time
My memories are
More dangerous
Than reality

Never forget that I defended you to the death
Every time I was told I deserved better
I looked around and kept finding
You

tongues flailing
i fall back softly on the couch
our lips entangled
hands wandering
fumbling
hickeys hickeys mmm
my hands scratched your back
as you move to take off my shirt
what a different sensation
direct contact with that skin
forbidden, shouldn't be happening
it feels so right
your lips get less sweet
your touches less gentle
and in less welcome places
my pants come off
no
i ward you off for now
no, no, i can't
no, don't
but you do
my fault
my fault
for hooking up
and being such a ***** ****
good thing it didn't go farther
farthest
because i am already disgusting.

the difference between
being *****
and wanting to be close to someone
is an important distinction
for someone who knows
that feelings never end well
especially for me.

I guess if you're done
******* me over
You can go **** yourself
Instead

you broke me with your kisses
you broke me with your eyes
you broke me with your touches
and you broke me with your lies

you told me that, with patience,
i could have your heart
and i responded that, with patience,
we could wait for love to start.

but you said you had no patience,
you said real love was "lame"
so it really shouldn't surprise me that
to you, all of this was a game.

i realized that all you craved
was what my hands could do
sadly, i was okay with that,
as long as i was with you.

you didn't ensnare my mind,
*** was all you wanted
and i sometimes still wonder
what it is that made you so haunted

but that's not the point of this poem,
your "****** feels" should stay out of it
this is about how you've hurt me,
so i'll go in for another hit.

you told me i was special
and that you wanted me
but really i was just one girl
along with a million i didn't see

it's funny how much i wanted you
i would have pleased you every day
i offered that and all i asked
was to be the only one you asked to stay

i guess you did nothing wrong
since i was nothing to you
my silly, arrogant, girly mind
thought that you wanted me too

i don't know if i miss you
or the way you kissed my neck
your sweet tongue in my mouth,
it was never just a peck.

i don't really want to see you
i also heard you eat glass
that's super ******* weird
but i hate you, so shove it up your ***.

You go looking for trouble
Because wind and rain
And snow and clouds
Make life exciting
Right?
And who wants dull,
Clear blue skies every day
Anyways?
But after awhile
You get a few too many clouds,
A little too much rain
And you start to forget
Those clear blue days
That you were so bored of

As the edges of the world
Turn orange and red
It's comforting
And ominous
To mark the end of another day,
Never truly knowing
If you'll ever have another
The sunset always tries it's best
And so should you

my stomach is constantly in knots
because of you
i haven't eaten in two days
but i feel lovely
as my hands shake
and water hits my stomach
with a heavy thud,
aching for sustenance
being with you doesn't scare me
and neither does my hunger
what scares me
is how i like the hollowness

Love
Every second
Of wild
Insanity

I really am not good at looking for things
I get impatient, I get distracted.
I forget what it is that I was searching for,
If I was really searching for anything at all.
And ultimately, it winds up
That I settle for much less than I deserve.

they say that war
and terror
have caused our problems
but if you ask me
they stem
from placing our faith
in everything
except ourselves

You whispered sweet nothings
In my ear
For two years
I didn't know they were nothings
Until you left
Because for so long,
They were everything

Music blaring in my car
As I sip bitter coffee
If you could see me now,
You'd tell me,
"You never liked this song.
You never liked black coffee &
You told me you weren't addicted
To anything, let alone cigarettes"
Of course I'd tell you that
Since I didn't want to tell you
That your touch on my skin
Instantly invades my bloodstream
Makes it hard to think
Takes the pain away
I didn't want you to know
That the only thing I've allowed myself
To get addicted to
Is you

Of all the things you said to me
I never thought I love you
Would hurt the most

Haven't felt hungry
Since we last spoke
All I crave is your touch
My body says differently
My hip bones jut out
Legs barely touching
I trace the lines
Of where my body used to end
With brilliant red
Open skin
Trying to resemble
The open fire I felt
When you touched me
It didn't work
You still aren't here to care
Where the hell did you go?

I wanted so badly to be with you
That I dropped down to your level
& the view is beautiful
From underneath the waves

My first time
Wasn't as important
As the first time
I laid in your arms
And thought I might
Be able to keep you

Going 75 in a 30 at midnight,
Screaming my favorite song
I am comforted
Knowing that I can move
As fast as my thoughts

i can't cry
can't be upset
because in my mind
i have faith
that this won't be
the end
this can't be
because if it is
i shall surely
die

We're all playing the same game
On different levels
We're all fighting like hell
Just with different devils

My mind is tired,
My body moves
With a heavy sigh.
"Another day?" it asks
Another day of cold indifference
Of yearning for closeness
A day of sleeping, but no rest
Of looking for meaning,
But not knowing where to start
Another day of being stuck

dying only makes it harder
for those who are still living
but I am so sick
of living for other people

I can solve problems
Can find the tangent of any angle
I can hablo en espanol
And identify the elements of a compound

But I don't know how to talk
Don't know how to touch
How to laugh, how to feel
Or know how to do anything that matters

Long, rolling thunder
In the dead of night

A crack of lightning,
Iridescent and bright

A slow drizzle
Stuck in the morning light

See me once,
Then I'm out of sight