I feel like you can't trust anyone any more.
the people you thought would always be there for you and have your back
end up always being the one to betray you.
now you're betrayed
with nothing left
just shame and guilt
that's all you feel
having someone you can tell everything to
that you think is mature enough
to keep things to themselves
tell the people who hate you the most
everything just makes you feel so stupid
makes you feel so empty alone
they know the worst feeling to feel is alone
and that's exactly what they do
make you feel alone
like you have no one
that one person that says they'll be there for you
you cant trust them
makes you feel so good and welcome
makes you feel like family
because your actual family just hates you
turns around and stabs a 12 inch butcher knife in your back
is the worst thing that could ever happen to you
and it happened
to you
all these feelings are inside
tearing you apart
eating away
all these feelings that they knew it would have caused
caused all of them
they knew it would all make things worse
they knew it would make you upset
what they may not have know
is that it would make you want to die
but they did it all
by betraying someone
who "meant so much" who they "loved"
but did they really?
no
because if they did
they wouldn't' have said anything.
-cd

If I was just gone people would finally be happy.
No one would have to hear me ***** and complain about everything I hate.
No one would hear me repeat everything I say.
No one would have to stress about making me mad.
No one would have to worry about taking care of me.
No one would have to worry about trying to help me do good in school.
No one would have to deal with what happened with me and him.
No one would have to worry about making sure I eat.
No one would have to worry about making sure I'm okay.
No one would have to deal with me wanting to starve myself.
No one would have to worry about me cutting myself.
No one would have to worry about me ******* about my parents.
No one would have to worry about anything of that if I was just gone.
Everyone would have such a relief.
Be stress free.
Be happy.
If I just wasn't here.
It'd be easier for everyone.
-cd

How could something such as a dark red line
Help you so much yet be so unhealthy
Trick you to think that everything will be fine
In their eyes all you want is sympathy

Sympathy is not your goal neither is hurt
But when no one cares then what else is there
As soon as you start you become very alert
And start to get the urge out of thin air

Now you can't stop 'cause it's an addiction
Your finger tips crave the taste of metal
Arm craving intentional infliction
Everything around you is unsettle

You're not going to do it even though you could
'Cause it's been five months and you're doing good

-cd