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my mouth was still stained
red from the
pomegranate seeds i ate from the palm of you hand
when i checked your instagram feed.
i had been lost in your underworld for
three
whole
days
before the weight of your sorrow found its
way into my stomach
and to the marrow of my bones.
like some fish wiggling along the sides of a
tank i ate your emotional refuse
and felt myself
becoming heavier and heavier
while you lifted to the clouds
and found this beauty among them.
i still sat in the bottom of the pond
bloated and
envying the sky above me.
you are still swimming in my blood
like a nasty parasite
and i feel like ripping out my stomach
to pour the weight of you out
but you seem so happy that
i want to pretend that your sadness
never existed and
that i am a stranger merely browsing through
photos.
but the fact remains that i
am still here.
on my bed writing angrily
about you like i have written about
dozens before you
and for some reason
something
hasn't
changed.
it's three oh five am
and you haven't called in 2 months
six days
13 hours
19 minutes
and 13 seconds
but that's okay because
she's been staining her hands with tears
that are your fault and
she thinks i'm beautiful
even when my voice quivers
and my thighs
are crowded with tally marks
because some days
i'm not strong
but that's okay because she says
the moon is still in the sky
and my heart is still beating
and i believe her because
when she touches me i feel like
my heart is playing hopscotch in my throat
and
her kisses taste like chocolate when you haven't had
chocolate in a
year
and the moon still hangs in the sky
so it's been 2 months
six days
13 hours
23 minutes
and 7 seconds
since i've been in love
 Jun 2013 Casaria NightShade
JR
beautiful boy with deep green eyes
a hidden river of hurt and lies
cover me up with your sweet smile
a kiss on the cheek to last me a while

lovely boy with eyes so blue
I wish I could give myself to you
lay by your side in fields so sweet
filled with the sound of our heartbeat

handsome boy with the darkest of eyes
not a thing of you do I despise
your sweet laughter and tender words
are the loveliest things I've ever heard

- j.r.
She stands there on the corner
Looking at you with a fixed stare.

You stare back.
As if to say "What do you want freak?"

She just stands there.
On that corner.

What you don't realize is
How BROKEN she is

You just see a girl who looks calm.
But she's crying on the inside.

Don't just stand there unknowingly.
Go talk to her.

Maybe she needs a FRIEND to make her SMILE again.
You just might help HEAL her broken heart.
I wrote this shortly after my grandfather passed away in late October of 2012. R.I.P. Grandpa...
 Jun 2013 Casaria NightShade
st64
V1
Oh, how the moon shines on me tonight
Always needin' some stimuli
Gettin' used to it, you say to me
Just another life under the stars.

Chorus
Love to ride the see-saw
Yes, love to ride the see-ee-saw
You love to ride the see-saw
Up, down....up, down.....
Up, down....oh up, down.

Rode it many times
Always get away
Always flying high in the sky to lo-o-ve!

V2
Tomorrow, we ride the rhythm of another wave
Lying, facing each other, so close
Silently staring into each other's eyes
Nothing said, 'cos words fail soooo bad! CHORUS

V3
Listening out so well for your steps
Don't be such a fool, it's only a car
Kiss your feet and touch your heart
We need to ride our chakra together.

Chorus
Love to ride the see-saw
Yes, love to ride the see-ee-saw
You love to ride the see-saw.

Up, down....up, down.....
Up, down....oh up, down.
Rode it many times
Always get away
Always flying high in the sky to love.



S T, 02 June 2013
Written many years ago....

Just a silly ditty, is all :)
My scars show another side to me...
They make me look emo...
But that's not l=the case..
I have these scars..
From cuts I have made...
I have this Razor named Slice...
It helps my pain...
Don't tell me to stop... Don't tell me to drop it...
Tell me to believe...
Tell me to live...
Tell me to speak up...
But don't tell me to leave....
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