I am consumed of thoughts...about you, about everything I've done, everyone whom I've crossed paths with.
And now I look back and I immediately cringe...half of me wishes I could alter time so I would've never really met you, but it happened anyway and I can't change that.
The other half...the other half stays humble and patient, loving, and warm - ready to embrace you.
Yet all of me...feels so ashamed and I constantly suffocate myself with my mistakes but I realize now - I have to forgive
It's taken me a while to forgive myself and forgive you but along that, I also learned
we don't have forever to sort out through all our flaws but before time runs out - we must learn to accept and let go...and never be afraid to fall.

I believe there is more to what we say. Like there's not just one meaning. Hidden messages within texts and emotions being kept as secrets until one day we feel like the barriers may come down and we can finally share all of it. All of the messy feelings and tender thoughts. I can't help but think there is a bit of doubt and hesitation in all of us. We want to believe it's real...that this can be everything we wanted. But why?..why then, do we choose to sit idly by and keep our mouths shut from revealing those messy feelings if it meant it would set us free. We keep up this exterior so no one could hurt us, so we wouldn't be hurt if someone rejects us. And until these barriers fall into ashes... our emotions will still be kept as secrets, our hidden messages will soon become lost words, lost meaning.