The universe
With all its mystery
Everything constructed
with infinite complexity
Yet comes together
with such simplicity

There's the stars
and there's the sun
Giving us light and warming the earth
From this the plants came forth
They live their life
Giving us the oxygen
Upon which we rely
Now the planets inhabitable
But we must become collaboratble

So respect the earth
From it we came forth
love the air
and the ground
love every person
every plant
love every part of this great planet

Ask me why I send you here
The firstling of the infant year;
Ask me why I send to you
This primrose all bepearled with dew:
I straight will whisper in your ears,
The sweets of love are washed with tears.
Ask me why this flower doth show
So yellow, green, and sickly too;
Ask me why the stalk is weak
And bending, yet it doth not break:
I must tell you, these discover
What doubts and fears are in a lover.

It feels as if
I have to grab your shoulders
and shake you senseless
for you to truly understand
how much I love you

it's a lot.

Broken heart causes
the past to resurrect life
but I will play dead

Abuse and violence
Awaited her at home.
Her nights were spent sobbing,
Dreading one more night alone.
Beaten and traumatized,
She came to me, so teary-eyed,
Still crying, after one more night
Brought on yet another fight.

Strongly, she stood as
Her mother cruelly drove the
Words through her head,
“I’d rather you were dead”,
Nothing could prepare us for
What lied ahead.

As I soon saw her,
Walking down my street,
I smiled in her direction.
My feet, tapping to the quickened heartbeat.
“I must leave” Were her sudden words,
To me it sounded so absurd,
“I have to leave this place of sorrow,
My way out will come tomorrow.”
“How far away?”
I had to ask,
“Too far away
For us to have a chance.”
She replied,
Wiping bitter tears from her eyes.

So there we stood,
For what seemed like hours,
Crying together,
Bitterly watering the flowers at our feet…
At the end of my dimly-lit street.

Sleeps a myth.
Red eyed, at 3:00 super markets
I’m there just because their open
Four cups of coffee and a dollar tea
I’m not any thing.
The only light be the moon and the blue smoke laces
Of cigarettes and the flashback glasses
Three phone calls and I answer everyone
He pleads desperately for words I don’t have
And for word I have no way of knowing
Nosh on a truck stop sandwich and try to find the watershed of my back days
Dreams in the dunk take that lead me to this bed without comfort
Contemplate connections concerning the girl whose half work knowing
I go home
It is 4’Oclock
A good and godless hour
But I want faith
Thinking back, yesterday was the start of today
Make that four phone calls, a rerun
Make that five phone calls, a rerun
Casablanca and a warm blanket
Problem is it’s hot out
“play it again Sam“.  The phone rings.

I wasn't always so easily discouraged.
I used to bristle with enthusiasm.
I glowed with it.
It didn't matter if the task was simple, or tedious, or daunting, or boring.
As though on rails, I slammed into each and every task with terrific force.

But I got older.
Things that used to come easily grew slippery.
What I used to do without thinking twice, I found myself over-thinking.
I threw the brake. I ground to a halt.
Finally, I became idle. A left-over husk of a kernel that's already been popped.
I drowned myself with doubts. Hypothetical situations that might never happen.
I lived in fear of what might go wrong.

So I began to watch everything go wrong, as though I was helpless.
I was no less able. I was no less compassionate.
But I had grown wary. Of what?
What was it that, out of nowhere, caused me to slow down?

I guess I looked down and realized that if I fell, I would not be getting back up.

When you're young, you have no worries, because nothing is relying on your success.
So you mess up a math problem. You'll get it eventually.
So you botch things with that cute girl who sits across from you. You're young, you'll get it.
Re-assurance, faithfully, unwaveringly. A safety line should I fall.
But I never really fell, did I? So why am I laying down like I have?

Get up.

Get up.

I worry about everything. I worry that I will fail.

I dread what comes, what I can't avoid. But time, and time, again, it comes, and I miraculously don't die when it hits, because I've been bracing for a train-wreck impact, a force that will really, truly, finally, definitely lay me flat for good.

I close my eyes, and brace. But the crash never comes. The silence that was continued to be.

I turn behind me, but there's no train there.

I'm starting to realize, with relief, (with horror), that maybe all I needed to do was step off the track.

I look down, and realize, with a first-creeping then-howling laughter that I was never on the track to begin with.

I look off where the track is. There's no train there, either. Maybe there never was.

Maybe there never will be.