1
For the first time
when my harmones blossomed,
In the garden named "LOVE"
I met lust disguised as love.
Fallen for my innocence,
It said "Pick any you'd like
and enjoy while it lasts."
A lovely red rose caught my eye.
I watered, I nurtured
I showered it with care
Held to my inner sunlight.
Ticking time, the petals fell, wilted.
It said "My heart's soil was shallow"
The first crack in my heart's walls, I left.
On my way I met twins "Miss doubts and Mr. fears"
They told me they'd be at my service anytime.
I hesitantly shook and left, wiping my conscious.
It no longer smelt my touch, fallen for other hand
that secretly held in my absence.
Enraged, I poured my words of fury.
Next morning I saw it prickly stand
when I reached to save, I bled.
I got to know the irony behind love and red.
Tears streaming down my face,
my heart walls had holes leaking blood in colors.
I realised it wasn't love, neither first flower I eyed.
If "Beauty and the Beast" existed. I was the beast
holding my last rose only to fall until I despised.
They told me "let it go", there's more to life.
Too close is too lifeless
And I let go.
2
After the last incident, Happiness died
giving birth to Sadness, my only companion.
A certain stranger knocks my door
Says "I'm sent by love to guide you.
I'm HOPE, pleasure to meet you" it shook my hand.
Overwhelmed to have a guest
I locked sadness in a room.
"Don't get attached, live in the moment
Everything's temporary, including me" said sadness
I didn't know what it meant but I felt happy again.
Over the next decade, I played the same game.
I'm the game, the players changed.
And everytime the player left so did HOPE.
I realised it's a coward that loved hide and seek.
Meanwhile my sadness who crept then and now
had an affair with it's neighbour, "Mr. Lonely"
It had now given birth to Depression,
cradling, Pain.
I have a family with all the dull and lifeless
that stood by me in stormy nights
I've grown fond of them.
Happiness is a fickle friend,
I let go.
3
For the 50th time
Fascination towards fantasy gone.
I turned into a cage trapping myself
building walls high enough with a sign
"Trespassers will be prosecuted."
A visitor stops by and says
"I've been sent by hope,
Let me undo past mistakes and
make it brand new once again
I'm EMPATHY, your renovator."
Touched, I crumble to it's arms,
let it make the choices for me.
I once ran across it's files and
found a note "The best is yet to come"
signed by HOPE.
HOPE knew exactly who to send
They're all in cahoots working for illusionist LOVE.
I've now grown numb to all the tricks
I've understood how this game of life works.
All I've ever wanted to find was
True love, Peace and Faith.
Winds whispered, "Not in this life, you don't.
Faith is far fetched and you're out of luck.
But if you find then you'll find the other two
In afterlife."
They say some things aren't meant to be.
Silenced, raging thoughts within
I grin,
I let go.
4
In the modern era
I'm a lifeless soul programmed to welcoming.
Known or unknown, I shall never know
It all seems a lifetime of series
I never counted or probably ran out of numbers,
for my dumb brain lacks mathematical intelligence
It holds no record of events
I'm now slave to my emotions, a cyborg
They run their course and I abide.
Change is the only constant
I erase memories like they don't mean anything
Forced to let go,
I let go
5
In the nth dimension
I have a large machine pressed tight
to the walls of my chest.
And whenever it crumbles like "The usual"
No hesitation I jam the gigantic ****
LET. IT. GO.