A little bird landed on my fence
chirped a joyfully glee
Sung melodies of freedom
flaunting her flair

"Hush little birdie" I warned her
In here we don't sing praises of freedom
We keep our mouth shut
and follow the chain of command

Shot by an arrow
she fell into the cage
Her feather dipped in blood
glorified the hunter's game

Soreful sight had my crumbled state
regained
A flaw in the system
too strong to be broken or mended

Tending her wounds,
I asked "why don't you fly?"
Soar high and live free
In here you don't belong

"How can I?" she whispered
when I'm a jailbird within you
trying to breakfree.

What do you call a fire
when it no longer burns
Is it still a fire or just
another charred emotion

Like a sky without stars,
A room lacking air
Words sink into the blank slate
to fill and to dissolve into nothing

This moment will fade
lost into the void
You and I will be a distant memory
tossed in an endless time

But the fire still burns
blazing to the sky
humming in silence
Will you be mine?

Maybe today
when the sun sneaks back
to his usual
hide and seek play
and the twilight strips her
godly robes into
the goddess of darkness

May I be cleansed
from the dwelling sickly desires
that eats my heart
and sways my mind  

May I be restored
from the old flaming aches
that chars my conscious
and captives me within

May I hone finesse
the anatomy of letting go

That when tomorrow comes
and it shall
let me be the hope I hoped for

May I be the genesis
that I believe
I'm the breaking light I've been looking for.

Into my cup of thoughts
you run over  

Mind's a clock
ticking your absence

You were a passer-by
I stumbled upon

The journey's long, I thought
perhaps we'd drift along same path

In the blink of an eye
you diminished into flickering light
And thus
far from my sight

While it reeks out
your bygone essance  
an urge to recapture seeps in

I recalled the flaw
same ignorance of several past

Once a mistake
Twice a pattern
Anything beyond is a choice

A trail that leads nowhere
A will to inflict is the destination's call

Though I longed your presence
numb grew tall eroding your imprints

And so 'I miss you' burnt to
Not this time
not anymore.

Time heals everything
is perhaps
a patch phrase for the hurt
who fell short to understand
the equation
"Time equals distance by speed".

You say "I missed you"
And I ask "How much?"
You say "A lot"
"A lot" can be defined in many ways.
You point me to the sky
arms open wide
and whisper
"The infinity"
I'm nearly convinced
but perhaps
sky is the deathbed of lost stars.

Don't miss me
like the dead
like the lost
like the unreachable
when the space is all that you left.

You don't miss the dead
as years pass by.
You discard the guilt like trash,
swipe away any notification of regret
and the only memory that stands
are the words
"In Loving Memory of"
engraved on the tombstone.
You move on saying
"Life goes on".

And before you conjecture
distance as miss,
recall the gambling of
"I'm busy" cards you played
with your hands glued to screen,
lavish in time
all day long
all night long

I've come to realise
"I'm busy"
is an understatement.
What it really means is
"I'm available but you're not worth my time".

Don't miss me
like you pretend to be
like your past
like it's been forever
I'm here in flesh and bones
and might as well burn your lies to the ground.

And in a way
'Time' and 'Life'
are the two faces of same coin.
The currency of our value.
Time being the head
and life being the tail
and when you toss the coin
high in the air,
you most certainly wish for the head
and place in the hands of
'Who matters'.

In words of passion,
Time equals
the depth of desire
by course of actions involved
to get close to
the proximity of the loved.

So miss me
like your favourite sport
like moonshine you crave
like I'm your home
Miss me like you don't miss a heartbeat
or forget to breathe
like I'm you.

Miss me in a way we can
defy the law of physics
and forge our own equation where
"Time equals you and me".

Trying to cleanse the memories past

you bed in the stranger's arms

Wishing for a solace of lost space

let the alien kiss your aching parts

The blossoms of summer shines

withers over winter chimes,

paralyzed

Caught in the damnation's hands, ripped apart

You've become the ****

bleeding anew.

Pain is like the parasite
latched to your endless gut
constantly stabbing
the acrid recollections of time

You can slit to bleed open
leaving you wounded
scarred
How many more times
will you dig the same grave?
And each time
one less sensation
until you finally decide to sit with it
and absume

So are my poems
dipped in glorious words
and cast to bottomless pit

Despite my perfection portrayal
my mumma smelt
the cloaked darkness
dripping from my lethiferous eyes
She brewed a potion of nepthene
tried to uproot them all

She grew weary
and now worships the dark
Could I blame her?
I wish I was the Lucida
she hoped for

The person that I am
I've been sown weeds of all kinds,
belied
I've been gone for long
all that remains
the forlorn shadows and dust
And lo, I scribble
epitaphs of my demons in disguise

So before you weigh the depth
and wonder why
Before you happen to woe my
crestfallen poems and
kiss my broken wings
know
I've become an annihilator.

My love
strip away your pretence
and reveal
your naked soul
In there
you appear
raw, pure and whole.

December calls out
to howling winters
to woo my ice carved
Narnia soul

Will there be
Christmas lights
to torch up the dark nights?

Will there be
Crackling of fire
to melt this frost, undesire?

Will there be
Santa granting wish
of my beloved's kiss?

I bide my time
winter after winter

It falls short, the warmth
like those prancing reindeers
swiftly sleighing to perpetual coldness.

Soon
I'll be gone

Those souvenirs you submerged
against our lashing tides
will resurface
and be washed out on shore

You'll hunt for me in places
of empty spaces
that once was our home

The sixth sense
you neglected
will prance on your mind
throwing down the gauntlet
against your withdrawal function

And your skin, undergo ecdysis
lurching for my touch

You'll lift up your eyes
to the black and blues
drawing constellations of hopes,
hoping for a shooting star

Chanting recitals of repentance,
seeking redemption
you'll sacrifice burnt offerings
of your priced possession
'Time'
Awaiting my return

I'll send you back my empathy,
reduced to ashes

You'll ponder,
Is this what become of us?
Time defying our union.

Years there on
you'll have me engraved
in your cavernous chest

And I'll be your only religion

You'll search fragments of me
in others
And meander down the lorn tracks
to fill the void

But before long
I'll be gone.

Woe to thyself
that thee pity the misery
Thou knowest not
that lies beyond thine eyes
Beware,
lest thou bewitched to the
sorcery of mankind.

('You' here is 'Poetry' personified)


The first time I saw you
was at the funeral
of my dearly departed

You stood afar
with droopy shoulders
age old wise looks
dripping from eyes

You vehemently gazed
at my innocence
for I was ten and too young
to comprehend death

Unable to fall asleep that night
you loomed again
Petrified, I wondered
was I paranoid to having seen
something unearthly

Not accustomed to
your ghastly looks
I shunned my eyes
and shut you out coldly

I never saw you again

Up until

Five years later
I had a heart leak
and needed a fix

Dressed in your best suit
after our last encounter  
you waved from a distance
presenting my tears, bottled

We spent some time together
And you told
you always looked out for me

In my darkest despair
you were always near

Having gone through part of life
I learnt
Sadness is love died

So you and I made a vow
breaking wishbone
to endure evermore

And I wrote you my letter
"A Call for Death"

It was only befitting
of our first meet

Thereafter
we met everytime I broke down
and needed an upliftment
You whispered in my ears
the encouragement

'Place your thoughts
in coffin of books
and bury them'

In my saudade moments
You were the sillage

Ever since when life stalled
I'd write down a solace
and auctioned them
to doom's day

I'd think at times
what would I do without you?

I added miseries than mirth
and the wreck that I am
you'd slip away someday

Grinning from ear to ear, you uttered
I'd be an empty vessel
if that happened

Eleven years passed
and I realised
after all this time
you knew me in and out
but I didn't you  

While I couldn't bring myself
to confront
You planted a kiss on my forehead and said

"I'm YOU
I'm the voices inside your head".

An unexpected call
arrived to me

A call......

A call for death

I knew not
should I decline
when life bid me farewell

I had no choice, noticed
my body sinking under the earth

The angel of death, said
"Hurry up!
for I'm on a time departure"

As my grip on world melted
I saw the illusion cavorting all around

I travelled distance
unequal in measures
until my sight blurred
to the gate of Paradise

I reached through it
a silence none could break

Taken to my place
I was told

"Rest In Peace
In time you shall rise"

But before I could get a glimpse
of the heaven's gates
I passed in silence

To them she was a distraction
her love treated as lust

Broken she mastered
to their obsession

Memories tainted
by her touch
they crave glimpse
of her sight

She though
had long passed
leaving behind disgust

Her love so deep
was no equal
to their shallow morals

Pardon me if
I'm not rich in metaphors

I'm rather used to borrowing similes

Somehow we bleed the same ink of life
Same course of actions in variating degrees

Pardon me if
I'm not poetic

I'm used to a lexicon of commoner

Read and to understand
Relate and to evoke the feel

Pardon me if
I'm not dreaming

I'm used to livin' in brutal reality

While licking wounds tops the list
Whispered, unheard voices I shall seek

Pardon me if
I'm not apologetic

I'm just a writer you see.

3.00 am
I fall to my knees
intoxicated

Cyclone of thoughts
slit open my mind
Am I doomed?
Why am I bequeathed space?

Like wishes that never made it back
are my shooting stars, fallen

It's said past three
the body is vulnerable
and most likely to die

Yet I'm here living dead

Perhaps death is too easy
when compared to starved love

You die daily, unloved

The last time I heard you loved me
was on a bright sunny day
for eleven times straight
I counted
it would last till next summer
You chuckled like everytime

The irony, you mumbled
with no feelings attached

I was at a fair and
you were my merry-go-round  
I came back in circles

The summer days turned to brumous

It's said 'love conquers all'
Maybe ours wasn't love
Maybe we just loved the idea of love
Maybe I'm unloved
because my love is surreal in nature

But does it matter now
since I'm the one falling

Later you pointed I am broken
and said 'Broken can't fix broken'

But aren't we all broken?

I tried to fix you
but you were far from broken
Damaged

Like a broken tape-recorder
you repeated words bye-bye

And when you walked out
you made clear
the space between us do exist  
I wore silence that will echo in time
silence you strapped to my mouth

I have you now in my ripped pages
of an old rusted diary
hidden in the bottom shelf, titled
'The tragic of my fallen stars'

For someone who delighted
in my metaphorical elegies
would you understand if I told

The sun sunk that dusk
never rose the same thereafter.

I've been told
when people exit
they leave behind an impact

And so a part of you remains
hiding within me

It devoured my flesh
and embedded deep beneath my skin

There's mutation taking place
deep in the dark
you'll know no difference
until we meet again

As of now
I'm still work in progress

I've met your demons
and you just brought me mine

Initiated with long continuous beeps
to now an opened no response
Somewhere between we lost our spark
How fickle was that?

The night is a sanctum
for the unsettled thoughts
to linger
I plexure memories
into cobwebs of sillage

Trickling down my cavern,
venom of lies
gifted yore

I hang them as amulets
to elude cozen
But the ways of guile
can never be elucidated
they're protean in nature

You were the puzzle
I longed to unsnarl
Recounted chronicals
alew.

Thrum of your cordolium
struck me stiff
An open book I am
I let you in
clysmic your lesion heart.

Renewed in soaring spirits
you sung sonnets of love,
recited "Ain Soph"
the esperance of morrow.

Beguiled,
I lay my viridity bare.

Metamorphosed to your true self,
gloated in glee
"I am Siren,
lured you into my entrapment"

Walloped by your mordacious cruor
Stifled, my lips eat silence.

And now whenever I hear
the word 'Love'
All I see is
how damaged people are,
All I notice is
a hollow visage.

Eyes so dreary
soul so weary
I reach to bed to lay low
devilish thoughts sneak in
whispering the night is ours
let's make some love

If life's a journey then

Who are we
What's our purpose
Where's our destiny
               - A moment of silence

If life's a game then

Who hoisted it
What game is it
Who will win
                - We'll never know

If life's all about reputation

Who created it
Why is it praised
How long until it fades
                 - A thought to work on

If life's a drama

Who gets picked
Why there's a twist
What's the outcome
                  - That's a moral to look upon

If life's a race then

Where are you running
What's your goal
Will you reach
                   - Majority of diversion results here

If life's a highway then

What's your speed
Who are you competitors
How skilled are you
                    - Prone to accidents

If life's a time ticking bomb

What is time
Who defined it
How long will we exist before it explodes
                     - None can predict

If life's a mystery then

What is it all about
Why unravel it
What's the use
                      - Let it be


Looking forward to possibilities
lacking the fulfillment of wisdom
such is a mentality
a mere phrase formed to signify life
yet unable to define wholly

What is life?
None can define
Just a momentary phase
live it worth your while
before it's long gone.

Blush so evident
with no make up
like a little girl she laughed

Dressed as she owned
garden of flowers
pretty in colors and bright

Lost in her
world of fantasies
said it was all for her only one

Held her lover tight
and showered kisses
bragged on owning him forever

I felt her in parts
happy and sad
for I'd been same with her lover in past

What an odd pair
the world laughed

You and me
our fragile love

I bloomed
when you showered me love

In days you failed
I still grasped

Neither you nor me
were aware of our
bottled feelings

I your muse
and you mine
we co existed for a while

Until we ran out of time
for neither of us belonged
together

The world knew
yet we denied

1

For the first time
when my harmones blossomed,
In the garden named "LOVE"
I met lust disguised as love.

Fallen for my innocence,
It said "Pick any you'd like
and enjoy while it lasts."
A lovely red rose caught my eye.

I watered, I nurtured
I showered it with care
Held to my inner sunlight.
Ticking time, the petals fell, wilted.
It said "My heart's soil was shallow"
The first crack in my heart's walls, I left.

On my way I met twins "Miss doubts and Mr. fears"
They told me they'd be at my service anytime.
I hesitantly shook and left, wiping my conscious.

It no longer smelt my touch, fallen for other hand
that secretly held in my absence.
Enraged, I poured my words of fury.
Next morning I saw it prickly stand
when I reached to save, I bled.
I got to know the irony behind love and red.
Tears streaming down my face,
my heart walls had holes leaking blood in colors.
I realised it wasn't love, neither first flower I eyed.
If "Beauty and the Beast" existed. I was the beast
holding my last rose only to fall until I despised.

They told me "let it go", there's more to life.
Too close is too lifeless
And I let go.


2

After the last incident, Happiness died
giving birth to Sadness, my only companion.
A certain stranger knocks my door
Says "I'm sent by love to guide you.
I'm HOPE, pleasure to meet you" it shook my hand.

Overwhelmed to have a guest
I locked sadness in a room.
"Don't get attached, live in the moment
Everything's temporary, including me" said sadness
I didn't know what it meant but I felt happy again.

Over the next decade, I played the same game.
I'm the game, the players changed.
And everytime the player left so did HOPE.
I realised it's a coward that loved hide and seek.

Meanwhile my sadness who crept then and now
had an affair with it's neighbour, "Mr. Lonely"
It had now given birth to Depression,
cradling, Pain.
I have a family with all the dull and lifeless
that stood by me in stormy nights
I've grown fond of them.

Happiness is a fickle friend,
I let go.


3

For the 50th time
Fascination towards fantasy gone.
I turned into a cage trapping myself
building walls high enough with a sign
"Trespassers will be prosecuted."

A visitor stops by and says
"I've been sent by hope,
Let me undo past mistakes and
make it brand new once again
I'm EMPATHY, your renovator."
Touched, I crumble to it's arms,
let it make the choices for me.

I once ran across it's files and
found a note "The best is yet to come"
signed by HOPE.
HOPE knew exactly who to send
They're all in cahoots working for illusionist LOVE.
I've now grown numb to all the tricks
I've understood how this game of life works.

All I've ever wanted to find was
True love, Peace and Faith.
Winds whispered, "Not in this life, you don't.
Faith is far fetched and you're out of luck.
But if you find then you'll find the other two
In afterlife."

They say some things aren't meant to be.
Silenced, raging thoughts within
I grin,
I let go.


4

In the modern era
I'm a lifeless soul programmed to welcoming.
Known or unknown, I shall never know
It all seems a lifetime of series
I never counted or probably ran out of numbers,
for my dumb brain lacks mathematical intelligence
It holds no record of events
I'm now slave to my emotions, a cyborg
They run their course and I abide.

Change is the only constant
I erase memories like they don't mean anything
Forced to let go,
I let go

5

In the nth dimension
I have a large machine pressed tight
to the walls of my chest.

And whenever it crumbles like "The usual"
No hesitation I jam the gigantic ****

LET. IT. GO.

Someday things will change
in a way better strange

Or perhaps

Someday is a belief
for present relief

"Promises are meant to be broken because people are broken."

The white turned pale yellow pages, the deep ink, faded writing of life's notebook. It haunts at times, shadows of past taking precedence of the moment to live in present. When the steadfast silence grows, the voice echoes, drawing a flashback of series of unfortunate events.

All the times I tumbled and fell in rabbit's hole, a symbol of trust, but ended up in "Godric's Deathly Hallows".

This world in indeed a magic woven, sealed blind for the innocence. People are more than what meets the eye. Trust is meant to be earned and yet I leave all the cards in their hands. I'm fond of the game and they're masters at play.

Emotions are merely face masks that are submerged in one's soul. You don't get to see the the realness in anyone. If you pulled out soul it would have nothing to reflect rather stygian. Arcane clad, a loom of lurid appearance you get hypnotised. Do you remember the first time you fell for the trap? Even as little, you were promised of certain things, never really having attained. You learnt, promises are meant to be broken but never really fathomed the depth.


Promises  meant  be   because  are
               are        to   broken    people  broken.

If you stared at them you'll witness the vehement sinner lurking behind those black hole eyes siphoning to a forever land. Whatever they tell you they are, is a blatant lie.

I try to burn those pages but the magic ink never dies. Even in ashes it dances, it mocks my nature to get attached. Not once or twice but many times and still hoping to unravel the burried world.

I'm the Mad Hatter lost in bacchanal. Deluge of bedlam I incarcerated, running in circles of endless time loops.

I'm Tom Riddle's diary, that can engulf, take you down the chamber of secrets. And yet I'm denied the same privilege when it comes to explore them.

They're the "Boggart" taking forms each time a new. I could cast a "RIDDIKULUS" spell but they feed on the nothingness.

Some things change and inanely some things remain the same. You detach your soul a while, you try to neuro transmit those realisation cells causing to swell up in pool of thoughts.

You ponder over "WHY" but settle for "IT IS WHAT IT IS". But some things allude IT IS NOT WHAT IT IS.  

People don't undulate on your terms. It takes too many Lucifer's fall to crash land on earth and understand the nature of evil. But in the mean time you still hover, lost in touch with reality and in that moment, the factual question brims up


                       REALLY    
                        
                YOU            KNOW
                
           ­   DID                      ANY
              
                  ­                   ONE
                                    
                              AT
                              
­                             ALL
                            
                                ?

Looks can be deceiving.
Have you ever thought words can be too?

We pull our strings of feelings
practice notes of thoughts
tongued instrument, voice our tunes
A low whisper moan in love or
A high pitch screech of temper,
words as our lyrics.
We sing out loud to our beloved
Anything to make them fall
Anything to make them hum our memories
We are the musicians; broken.

We wisely select certain metaphors
and draft them meticulously
A love note in secret codes
A promise to set them free
A devised illusion of a trap
to cage our exotic bird
in the name of love.
From,
You. Me.
You and me
Us
You vs me
Me. You.
We've become poets
Feeding rotten love and
Breathing stale memories.
We are the poets; poisoned.

We pull out the plain surface
draw our words in pictures
paint them in hues of bleeding red
Everytime you make love
you leave them stained, imprints
on their skin to celebrate the art.
words in art.
words in pain.
We are the artists; con.

We pick out the nature's remains  
garnish seasoned lies
a delicacy to relish
to savour the moment
suiting our taste buds
Sugarcoat to our sweet tooth
***** bitter truth when repulsed
Sour words there after to keep them away
We are the chefs; drunk.

We advertise false hopes
sell some fancy stories
content of curatively crafted words
to attract customers for tomorrowland
Exquisite price and promotions
and we rely solely on profits
to receive more than given
Everything is a business with
terms and conditions attached
we always fail to check.
And the Disclaimer:
Emotional investments are subjected to
system damage risk.
Read all related documents carefully.
We are the marketers; fraud.

We plead guilty when needy
Swear an oath "Nothing but the truth"
Bail out when cards have been dealt
Claim "The right to remain silent"
Who's right and who's not
It's my words against yours
We are the lawyers; unjust.

Words, the primal instinct of our transmission,
to interact, to bond and
with it we either build or rupture it all.
Words don't just roll out your tongue
they're servants to your thoughts and
slave to your emotions.
But what are words when we don't really mean them?
Word is a lifetime.
Like seasons
budding to blossom to fall.
Lifetime of our connection.
When we cease to exist
so are the words and promises.

Talk isn't cheap, words are.
We are the words
gone with the wind.

Perhaps love's too fragile that the word weighs strong.

- Love me more in the pretty lies you unfold.

As a kid you sat
by the window pane
sipping bedtime milk
lullaby in head
Looking out for unanswered questions
dreaming what you'd be one day
When you grow up to be
everything you thought you'd be

Life you knew was
pure bliss and innocence

As a teenager you stood
by the window pane
love potion
coursing through your veins
You fell in love with the stars,
moon and air
Dreaming you'd soon meet
Prince charming
A budding flower in awe of
every little thing

Life then was
living in fairytales

As an adult you stared
out the window pane
high on fermented liquids and
substances
Wandering through multi dimensions
still dreaming and
living in fantasies of your own
you created it to be

Life goes on
as it's meant to be

As an old bird you no longer
sit or stare by the window pane
meds and occassional drinks,
dementia hits
Oblivious and disoriented,
you reminiscence of what's left
Dreams turned to hallucinations
Still unanswered,
lived through seasons

Life now the
reality of shattered dreams

The thing about dreams
are meant to be lived
I have my share left

Dreams to live before I sleep
Before I Sleep.

In an ocean of secret holders
who anchors down their deep waters
crashing waves of thoughts
torn veils of skin sails
sunken ships of past
rusted memories
often washed on shore
It doesn't matter if you're a tiny fish
trying to fit among
whales publications
shark authors
electrocuted by eels downsizing your cause
Know, once eminent sailors are
skeletons gone by their acts

Through the dense forest
evil resides
****** into darkness,
the black, the bitter, the better
Succumbed to death,
wallow the mushy dirt etched to scarred skin
Those quills that doesn't run out of pain
bleed sticky gum of slit open trunks,
leaves to the ground,
withered love
It doesn't matter if you're a snail couped in
your little shell,
trying to race amongst the
biggest, baddest, best
Know, every animal has its killer instinct
Once mighty explorers are the bygone era
of dinosaurs
Their work, fossil of proof

In the blistering winds of snow
cracked glass souls
who pens down heaped fears
doubts and uncertainties unshovelled,
crystallised perspirations
It doesn't matter if you're a snowman
lifeless, formless, hidden
Know, once giant ice bergs that stood tall are
slashed, melted, evaporated

Through the light sky to outer dark space
mystery lies,
the power of the unknown
Those that rocket their fascinations
lavitating endless celestial bodies
A moth drawn to a flame,
sparkle and dust
It doesn't matter if you're a little star
unseen by the existing blazing sun
glorious moon, brightest stars
Know, once greatest scholars are
crashed comets, fallen stars
a lost wavelength in time
siphoned by a giant hole

Hush to the others
lashing waters, rustling trees, icy blow winds, sparks of void

Be one of a kind
Let the little minions in your head
do what they best do
write "You".

On a highway to heaven
I picked up virtues, seven
Narrow paths and steep mountains I ventured
Virtues I hold, weigh me down
Each passing curve,
I left one behind.
Arrived to the gate, I handed
'Worthy' to the gatekeeper
His eyes downcast, whispered
I wasn't good enough
I had no halo or wings,
angel like form or in white.
The virtue I offered had turned to stone,
worthless.

On a freeway to hell,
I picked up sinister vices downhill
Vast open spaces through dark tunnels I wandered
until the 'ferryman of death' hauled me closer
Him I handed all my vices in folds
His face pale, sighed
Time still awaits
I had no horns or tail,
evil figure or in black.
The vices I paid were merely fragments,
inadequate.

Heaven and hell I was expelled
cast to the middle ground
In here resides the both, the in-between,
the synthesized hybrid
that if you painted a picture you'd see
no halo or horns rather plain,
and more vibrant in colors.
Aesthetically pleasing I see endless
blue skies, blue seas, green trees
having angelic figures.
And the shattered ruins,
broken down places, people and
dust beneath my feet leaving eerie prints.
Fall of an era, rise of another
Castles to skyscrapers
Kings to billionaires
times have grown, changed
Yet this middle ground prevails,
run by chaos and order.

So, here I am
somewhere between
Heaven, Hell, What else
A hovering orb named earth
Unsettled and footloose on a transient period
Guess we all are before the ultimate, fate.
Heaven or hell
I know not it's intricate details
What lies beyond those gates?
Perhaps, a conundrum
If you're curious about the gates?
An illusion.
Beware of thine eyes,
the greatest deceiver and so
What if I told you
"Reality is an agreed upon illusion"

Would you concur or question the nature of your reality?

Dozens of cooked up fairytales
you grew livin' in imagination
Mermaids are one of em
you wished beyond fascination

Perhaps the idea of being young forever
caught your attention
Or the state of flawless beauty
yearned your intention

Oh darling aren't you aware?
It's all just a fiction
There's good and evil, far and wide
if only you caught a tidal reflection

Why choose a scale skinned tail?
when you can stroll through grains of sand
You too can bathe in sunshine
adorned princess of the land

Copious beauty scattered throughout
yet you don't blink an eye
You thirst for the deep waters
relinquishing the world's allure nigh

Indeed magic Cascades in reality
if known to tapped right
A mortal life ain't that shoddy
just another realm of wright

Alas, had you been a mermaid
you'd rise to the surface waves
lay on a moonlight beamed rock
wishing human life enclaves.

Who are you love
Who are you?

Are you what they call
by name, love
just an emotion
form of expression
or even a little affection

Layers of colours you hold
each a feeling untold

You disguise
deceiving the eyes
Forms you wear
we're unaware

You hide
dark inside
Portraying sublime
most of the time

Poisoned you grew
evolution becomes you

What is it you keep
that everyone digs deep
If only they knew
the real you

So, tell me love
who are you?
Or should I say
what are you?

Haunted insomnia
dreams to nightmares
Heart clenched
rhythm asynchronous

Fear fluctuations
high and low
Inborn emptiness
null and void

Surge of anxiety
binded tight
Panic attacks
now and then

Crippled mind
malfunctioned
Numbness
outstretched within

Mundane existence
day by day
Depression to
merciless end

Shared vows in secrey
till death do us part

Ingurgitated by
mysterious darkness
I now reside
amidst the shadows

Oh how I yearn mayhap
discern the light once more

And breathe a heavy sigh.

Memories I cherished
now lay beneath
ocean of my mind
rusted.

April bids au revoir
Around the twitching days of fall

Robust of stardust
Ablazes a sun kissed spark
Despite the brumous arrival

Hurtling beneath the cold walls
Yearns the desire of
An atmosphere of your presence

May we march with merry
Inspite of frigus due

Seasons fall and rise
Hope we shall prevail
Roaring alongside thunderstorms

Awaiting summer renascent

Brooding over thoughts is abysmal
Whether it's past, present or future
You contemplate,
the notion of Life itself
Your existence,
what makes you alive and
what it takes to strive
But to be submerged in an ocean of thoughts
Is dreadful.

You ponder the whole concept of
God and mankind
and mysteriously wonder God's plan.
What's sun, moon and stars?
What's earth? And who cares if it's round or flat.
Who cares about outer space when
you're beneath drowning at sea level,
caught amidst the tremors of morrow
And what's tomorrow
if you're unsure?
Life's short.
Nonetheless, you're here
Still breathing under water.

Waking up is terrible.
You cling to the monotony of day and night.
The clock that strikes twice on a faded wall, unnoticed.
The long curtains coated in dust.
You convince yourself
there's no time
just like your dead lover
who drew paths away
declaring time doesn't equal you.

By now you know the
edges of loneliness that comforts you.
You call it home,
the graveyard of your sorrows.
And when you exhume,
a cadaverous grim figure sneers back at you.
It crawls behind your back like a shadow.

It's maddening,
to travel in never ending train of thoughts.
You can't arrive at destination
when you've mastered multiple personalities.
Silence no longer creeps when thoughts are loud.
And thoughts, your only companion
But to be consumed by thoughts is excruciating.

Where does it end
all your impending thoughts?
Hung on nihilism,
you sigh over the sign of wisdom
Or is it insanity?  

Anyways,

It stays,
It lingers,
and the only thought that rings
with deafening alarm
"I'm thinking of ending things".

When love knocks
Invite, arms open wide
Greet like you missed an old friend
Talk about the in-between times,
the last time you met

Everytime it arrives,
it appears like a little bird,
landing on your fence
Fluttering your soul,
tingling your senses

Feeding you lust of desires
lures you in it's trance of deception

When smothered tight,
it transforms to a snake
hissing your insecurities,
whispering your fears

It cannot condone when you become
the perfect epitome of love than itself

When tried to get rid of it,
it'll stay choking your neck
lurking around your walls
leaving you hopeless
It likes to hunt and you're it's prey
You run it chases
It thrives on your affliction

The thing about love
It's a misunderstood creature
polymorphic in nature,
expects you to mirror

Silly little stubborn child
seeking undying attention
wants to be heard
loved in return

So the next time love barges in,
let it soak in your love
let it stay
Be what it wants,
no questions asked

If love's the bitter sting, aching
then, love is the antidote to love

Caress it like a mother
cradle on your lap
hold tight to your *****
Let it choke
Let it strain

Watch it crumble
Watch it slowly die.

I had a heart
Walls of thick flesh
Tender and fragile
Beating innocence
Caged underneath
Skinned sheath

Fascinating art  
A fantasy toy
Experience
Extraordinary unknown
Explore
Exploit

Ruptured
Emotions barged in
Innocence cornered
My first betrayal
Fresh open wound
Unseen
Unexpected

Second strike
Walls shaken
Attempted to stop
Another blow
I didn't
I couldn't

Several unnumbered
Distroyed innocence
Darkness grows
Depleting goodness
Used
Misused

Powered force
Appearance of love
Breaking walls
Wreaking havoc
Shaken
Broken

Damaged
I replaced
Flesh to glass
Skin to stone
Frigid
Rigid

I now have a heart
Walls of clustered glass
Strong and sharp
Beating colors of light
Reflecting
Refracting
A heart shaped prism

Into my heart you crept
Deceiving thy nature
A spot made, slowly taking
All over in the name of love
Smitten I'd lost control as you
Marched out with vicious laugh
Leaving behind an estranged soul

Forever is a vain in disdain
Perhaps forever doesn't exist
and if it did
it'd be like
"Tomorrow Never Comes"

People dressed in forever don't last winter
So are the memories frozen in time  

"Always" is a word
I preferred
The irony behind it remained
calm and composed
irrespective of time
But it wasn't good enough
as it brings forth
trepidation

I could treasure memories
as autumn leaves
the fine imprints of shades and pattern
pressed in my diary pages
Maybe I should
Maybe that's how it's meant to be

But is it selfish to plant a tree in my backyard?
To bask in the shade all the time?
I'll never know

While feelings inchoate
emanation of expectations arise
like the puddles of joy
one would leap into
One could exchange origami
of paper boats
in secret love notes
sailing
only to drown
And when you rip history pages
you'll find the trapped echoes of silenced wars

Expectations are indeed
a guillotine
beheading hopes
And the vestiges
are the stoic we linger on

When 'Forever' sunk and
'Always' deemed unfit
'For Now' kissed my aching heart
injecting numb
You'll find me now in crowded places
lost in solitude

Tonight
I heard the sky falling

It fell to the ground
drenched in pain

An eerie frame
gone in the black

Eyes glistening
under the baggage of dark lit
heavy clouds

Like an orphan
with no arms outstretched

Streams of silence sobs flow
drowned in loneliness

Hours
till the break of dawn

Perhaps
night rains
are the adult version of
letting go

In the end on battle ground
Love stripped, uncrowned
Whiplash of words, a weapon
Torn skin, slashed open
Reeked blood
Agony shed
Limp off the grid
Silenced bid
Win or lose, it matters not
History recalls last shot
The bravery of woe
Echoes let go