I said I'm sorry
Love
I need some time
You said
That sounds
Just like goodbye
And I couldn't
Tell you
Otherwise
So goodbye
Was all it was.

Wrap the truth
Around me
Like a noose
And hope that
I never cut
Myself loose
To swing free,
Like the best
Of years gone by

Keys, drinks, the sound of heels clicking and clomping. Smiles, dreams and sun streaming in from windows. Drunk hugs in bathrooms, glitter sparkling on your face under lamppost light. Lighting a match, like warm magic emerging from fingertips. Cobbled streets, a fruity drink in rainbow colours, the coolness of the night air. Short chats that become long chats, that become deep chats. The smell of food and the warmth from the bowl it is in. Sea air, salty, blustery, the jangle of a dog collar as they run. Being halfway through a book that has your full attention. The smell of the pages. A text that makes you smile. Ice cream on a hot day, the greasy feel of suncream and the smell of outdoors on your skin, in your hair. Rainy days with a warm mug of tea, fairy lights with full batteries. A film night with friends, quoting word for word. Laughing, always laughing.

I miss grey days
When they're here
And hold onto
Nostalgia
Like ice burning
The palm of
Your hand.
I miss rain,
Standing like an
Angel
Arms outstretched in
Drenching downpours
Until I am washed
Of even my
Own name
And come home
Sodden and
Unspeaking.
I miss what I
Have always hated
And turn from what
I've sworn
To love.

Raindrops dripping
Down my spine
The promise I made
To stop wishing
You were mine.

Cold breath curling
In the frozen air
Thinking of your
Hands tying knots
In my hair.

The empty feeling
Of knowing the end
But choosing
For whatever reason
To pretend
And trying to learn
To be fine with that.

Walking away
As the curtains falls
Locking the screen
As you constantly call,
Then suddenly
Feeling like
I can breathe again
In rain and mist
And on hillsides.

Taking the rose
Away from the thorns
And choking
On light
Like sun after storm,
Watching raindrops
Wash it all away
Until I was saturated,
Dizzy,
And, somehow, ok.

I wish I could tug
Words from your lips
Like smoke.
I wish my eyes would
Glow like brimstone
In the dark.
I wish that yesterday
Was nothing but embers
And tomorrow
Was nothing but ash.
I wish like a well
And I'm sick
Of it.

I am only fool's gold
But will you love me
As if I were more?