I'm always so tired
I've always gotta sad sad song at heart
My eyes are so wired
I turn the act of misery into an art
There's no telling why I'm here
There's no saying where I belong
I'm always so tired
I've always got a sad sad song.

I'm always so cold
I've never done a good thing either way
I'm feeling so old
I've got a feeling that any day
I'll just fall into pieces
I'll just tumble until I hit the ground
I'm always so cold
My heart barely even makes a sound

I'm always so far.
I never understood the way you live your life
I'll always be far.
I'll always be the one messing up your light
I can't imagine that you'd want me
after all the times that you've been wrong
I'm always so tired
I've always got a sad sad song.

It is better to be bitter
It is better to be hard
It is better to live bitter
It is better with no heart

Life is better here my darling
On the opposing side to love
It is better to be bitter
To beat sweetness with a club

It is better to be heartless
It is better to be rough
It is better to be freezing
To the words,
The eyes,
The touch

It is better here my darling
On the opposing side to faith
There is no one here to judge you
There is no need to hide your face

It is better here my darling
On the opposing side to love
It is better to be bitter
Than to be worth thinking of

You follow the women
Like nomads followed food
You crave their attention
You are selfish
You are rude

You need their doe-eyed stares
Like the worst addicted fiend
You have no respect for others
You are jaded
You are mean

I cannot compete with beauty
I cannot compete with grace
I cannot compete against ladies
With lilting laughs
And charming tastes

I cannot be something better
Than what you already have
I can only offer patience
Only mollify the bad

I would like to be a princess
I would like to be a queen
But I am marked a simple jester
By the way that I must be

I cannot compete with giggles
Or with shy-eyed little smiles
I can only sing a song or two
I cannot put out your fires

I would like to be the one you pick
I would like to be the one
But I cannot compete with beauty
So there is nothing to be done

Any place where you are King
I cannot be queen
Any place where I am torn
Is where you reign supreme
Any place where you may sit
Surrounded by your girls
Is the very place
That my heart must twist
And turn
And hurl

I am not afraid to be alone
I am not afraid to die
I am not afraid to yell at them
Or for them to see me cry
I'm not afraid of heartache
I'm unafraid of many things
But you
I am afraid of you
My make believe
My king

The problem with your eyes is that
I love them,
And in that moment when

Your hand
Rests
In my hair,

Your nose
Rests
On my nose,

Your smiling breath
Heats
My lips...

In that moment,
I see your eyes,
Seeking,
Searching,
And finding
Me

And I hear that voice
Inside your mind say

There
There she is.

And in that moment,
You kiss me
As if to say

I found you

And you smile.
And in that moment
I am lost,
Drowning happily
In your success.

I am sick of being lonely.
I am sad and I am bent.
I feel that if I waste another moment,
All of my time, it will be spent.

So forgive me if I shun your life,
And move closer to the sun.
For while you move throughout your rat maze,
I have already won.

You are all it takes
to keep me honest.
You are all I need to
be a better girl.

I have made mistakes,
I have broken what I've promised.
But to be with you, Man,
I would sell the world.

**** it.
First day on the job
and there you are.

Distracting me.
Pinning me.
Trapped
against your stare.

Oh, Lord.
I love it when you look.

I live.
Deep in the valleys,
In the hills, that make your blanket.
Here.
I live.

Sprawled.
In all directions.
Through the leafy green
Of your sheets.
My hips, like mountains.
Not mountains.
Hills.
Sloping gently,
Curving slowly,
Soft, living, fertile.

Your bed.
So like a valley.
So open and welcome.

And you...
King.

King of the valley
That is your bed.
Sun.
To the hills that
Are my hips.
You sit.

Oh, truly there is nothing
More than this.
If I am the land,
Gently sloping, gently breathing,
You are the sky.
Shining, smiling.
King.

Oh, how I wait for
Your touch to light upon
My form.
Oh, how I search for
Your kiss.

You.
So like the sun.
Your lips so divine.
Bliss! Oh Bliss!
When they press against mine.

Oh Love,
You are King.
King of my heart,
King of this room,
King of this valley,
Where
I
Live.

When I have laid my head to rest
To dream my final dream
I'll think of our love,
That to everyone,
Is not what it would seem.

I'll close my eyes and see the stars
So familiar in the sky
And think "Oh Lord,
How I have loved!"
And be unafraid to die.

For if the world be false and cold
If it be marked untrue
There still could be no beast nor man
Who could mar my love for you.

So, as I lay my heavy head
And start for final sleep
The memories of
What we have done
Will be the ones I keep.

I fear my sense
Of right and wrong
Are skewed beyond
Repair.

For all I do
Is think of you
Regardless of if you're
There.

The way your body
Knows my own and
Matches it with
Heat.

Is quite enough
To make it tough
To focus or to
Speak.

My God.

Your hands...
Your hands are like
Beams of light through
A cold and starry space.

Your arms...
Your arms are a delicious secret,
Meant only,
Built only,
For me.

Your shoulders...
Dear God, your shoulders
Are like those of Atlas
But the only world you hold
Is my own.

Oh, Lover...
How I crave your embrace!
Your hand on my back,
The fire
Between your legs
Igniting
One of my own.

But...
Your mouth, my love,
Is the greatest of them all.
The wide expanse
Of your lips

Taking up
My every inch.
Making me whole.
Making me my own.

Oh, I wish
That when I wake,
Your ******* nose,
I could break.

But if your nose
Were saved, instead,
I'd also like to break
Your head.

He said.
If you get any better,
If you get any better at this,
I
Will
Die.

And I laughed.
And said it must be the weather,
Because I could do better,
If
I
Tried.

So he said,
Darling, don't joke around,
My heart is bound to burst,
In
My
Chest.

So I smiled
And looked him in his eyes,
And said I'm sorry for
Being
The
Best.