No.
All I could say was-
No.
Not him.
Not now.
Not here.
Not without a goodbye.
Not without a reason.
Why?
Why him?
Why now?
Why here?
He's still alive.
This all a dream right?
I'll wake up tomorrow morning
Everything will be fine
I'll wake up tomorrow morning
And realize he never died.
Gone.
From this world he's-
Gone.
Deceased.
Passed away.
Moved on.
No more of his beautiful smiles.
No more of his deep blue eyes.
No more of his giant hugs.
No more of his love for everyone.
I can't believe it.
I won't believe it.
Until he never shows to church
As early and faithfully as before.
Until I stand before his grave
With a flower in my hand.
I want to see his face
Just once more.
I want him to walk
Through that very door
He walked through
Countless times before.
But he's gone.
Deceased.
Passed away.
Moved on.
So let this be goodbye,
Till we meet again.
I will always love you
My faithful friend, Nick.
I wrote this the day after my first love died in a car crash with his girlfriend last December at the young age of 17. I never got over my love for him, and it was my first experience of the death of someone close to me.