warm radiation
of single serve dinners.
clatter of bottle caps,
bouncing off bent metal brothers.

yesterday: b-movies
for hours,
black and white
brains on wires float,
high school students
lost in allegory.

day before: reading
for hours,
shivering
knees making mountain peaks
under the comforter from home,
avalanches of unseen feathers.

hot coffee, showers,
days of avoiding outside.
heating pads,
leftovers of mother's meatloaf
sent over in a cooler.
reminiscing to no one
about how it use to taste.

I drag around
         an anchor everyday
               sometimes the chain loosen
                                  but some days the weight
                                                          ­     feels as though I can't go on
                                                                ­                and my ocean of thoughts
                                                                ­                                          will drown me
                                                                ­                                                              one­  
                                                              ­                                                                 ­     day

I stare above
my cold coffee
and warm cereal
at the blank wall in front
of me. I miss you.
Or at least I think I do
I don't know
it's hard to tell these days
I was miserable with you
and without you I'm
bored.
It may take a few more
lonely breakfasts
before I figure
out which one is
worse.