I really wish I did not feel this like this but I do and I can’t help it,
I wish I could believe you when you say nice things about me and how I try so hard to believe you, the depression voice calls me again, telling me your weak and worthless, your not worth loving or caring about. My heart is broken again oh how I long for the hurt and pain to end, the desire to end my life grows again in me today,

Hello Cruel world
As I woke today feeling bad and hoping that today would be the day everything changed for me its get worse, the pain the feeling that I’m no good, I’m worthless and pathetic, unlovable and I was once weak now I’m weaker and full of pain for no matter how much I love and care for you. You don’t feel the same way about me and I know for sure now after today. You hate me and to be honestly I hate myself so much and really long for die so much and wish it would come.  If only I was brave enough to end my life I know you and everyone would be so much better off with me. You don’t really care and let face it never really did why would anyone love a pathetic weak **** like me, my heart is broken, the blood is in my veins wanted to be released and how I need to released it now, it calls to me and longs to be release and i longs to released it , I can't fight it anyone the long to be gone and to release myself from society and this world is getting greater and greater.

The feelings and thoughts of being alone
how you open up to people about how you feel
But no one really understand me or what’s in my minds.
How I truly feeling alone and like no one understand me
like they never would or why should they
I sit alone in a dark room feeling hopeless
And praying they people will stop judging me and the way I feel,
The hopelessness stated to rise in me.
The fear come and the thoughts that you will always be alone.
Like you are now and how I wish I could stop judging myself.

As I woke up this morning with the dark cloud forming in my mind.
Telling me you’re a pain and useless,
Worthless, Nothing you ever do will be good enough for me or
Anyone else the pain, the rejection, the feeling of hopelessness, the misery,
How the dark cloud turns to dark mist in my mind and the feelings and thoughts of rejection and not being accept by my peers. How theses feelings and thoughts turn to pain and agonise in my weak and dark mind and how I wish this would stop and everyday is the same for me.

Today was hard depressed.
Depressed hit me like a rock with a dark cloud forming in my mind.
the dark cloud grows and tell me your worthless,
unlovable and a nasty person
why would anyone love and care for you
The pain in my mind and the longing for it all to end.
how its written over my face and the scars on my body
the longing for people to like and accept me for who I am and how I wish
I could accept myself and love myself
how I hate my life and hate being me
How I try to be brave but sometimes it's really hard being me.