Yes, I play our memories
Over in my mind
Letting them dance upon my eyelids
And pull at my heart strings
They won't stop if I plead
They're all you've left me with
Everything I can remember
Every touch
Every glance
Every uttered sound
It's all I have of you
You may not realize
But when you said goodbye
You never really left me
In the same way, I suppose, I may haunt you
Every burning wick
Those flickering flames
Every shift in daylight
The turning of the sun
Every fold in the flag
Stitches tattering slowly
Every drop of rain
Refreshing the life and growth of Earth
They are part of me
And they reek of you
No matter where I go
Or who I'm with
I can't escape your gaze
Can't loose the grip you have on my heart
And after these months of fighting it
I no longer care
I've accepted that you're a part of me
Forever more

overwhelmed
I sit
curled
all muscles tensed
all emotions
no definition
heart beating
all thoughts
no clarity
sweat running
all fears
no peace
tears flowing
all questions
no answers
pain unbearable
far too often

Lying on my back
Unyielding, glacial asphalt chilling my core
I watch
As stars
Slowly
Blink
Out of existence
No cataclysmic events following
Just small beams
Flickering
And dying
Their strength
No longer that of burning suns
But of sheer dust,
Wishful dreams.
Sharing their last moments
With me
Warming my mind as I consider their lives
Oh, that they had told me their stories!
The things they had seen
Through the centuries
Under their unfaltering gaze
The lovers,
The fighters,
The epic wars,
The college all-nighters,
The runaways,
Development of life through the years,
Just a small glimpse into their memory

These are the demons
that toy with my mind
that fire my synapses
the demons that linger in shadow
that sink into the fabric of my outer skin
and leave me wrestling with my beliefs late into the night
wondering to life after death
leaving me to tears
as I imagine meeting my end and the possibilities there after
my tongue knots
even my inner monologue runs dry
shaken
quaking
shattered
where the ends of the universe play through my mind's eye
and doubt engulfs me
chasing sleep from my future
an endless repeat
these are my demons
this is my hell

Penned across the page,
ink pulsing
from one letter to the next
in a cursive script that comes from my core
oozing over the lines meant to hem it in
absorbing into the depths of the page
the fibers trembling
taking on this bruise
the satisfying crimson deepening within flesh
the only way to capture the outpour
to withhold the gore
and still express the rupture
to explain the hurt
found in the heart

I don’t know the moment we became friends
I don’t know the moment you transformed from a looming, strong-willed Sasquatch
To a cute ’n’ kind Koala
I’m not sure how you managed that change but I’m glad you did
Not that I’m saying you were the only one to change
Perhaps I was the Sasquatch before and have since softened into a loving Llama or a caring Camel
In any case, it really doesn't matter who did the changing
Just that it happened
That out of all the random connections that could be made
We were challenged to care for each other.
I don’t know what brought us together or why
Maybe it was nature challenging its bounds to see what it could get to fall in love with what
Perhaps it was just us realizing there was a kindred spirit behind all of that bristled Sasquatchian fur
Whatever it was I’m betting God was ultimately behind it
*** He’s legit like that
Honestly though, I’m glad it happened
I’m glad that my view of you changed.
I’m glad that I got to know you.
I’m stoked that we talk and let each other know what’s happening in life.
I rejoice that you were a persistent little Sasquatch when I had written you off.
I’m glad I can call you friend.  
I can honestly say that I would take a bullet for you,
That’s right; I’ll be your guard Llama
I would traverse space and time, fight all laws of physics and all the sciences just to make sure you were ok
For you I would find Atlantis,
I’d find the “missing link”
I’d find all the things that are mysterious and leave you puzzling
I’d travel to places that aren't possible to reach simply because people have ceased to believe in them
And make strangers begin to believe again just to make you smile or distract you from the hurt for even a moment
My dear sweet little Sasquatch
I adore you
I treasure you
Couldn't live without you