She was raised with The Notebook,
brain wired to love,
heart hungry for a sunrise lover.

Waited and dated
but words always got in the way,
and he'd write goodbye
with his hips between her thighs.

And then it happened.
She fell.
He didnt.

Cheated of a good tending to;
she left.
Lit their memories on fire
but was left with ashes.
She cried from December til May.

I've given my love to other men
but never let myself fall.
When down is up and up is down,
I forgot how to along the way.

So tonight
I wanna *******
in the vain attempt
that my loving
will keep you
coming back as my
2 AM lover.

You think
‘cause I live in
A pretty house I don’t
feel pain and haven’t felt things that
leave scars?

There’s more
than my happy
smile that meets your eye.
Been told “I wish I aborted you”,  
seen her

convulse
on the kitchen
floor. Caught her with men, caught
her with women,  and watched her walk away
without

regrets.
I’ve been lied to,
manipulated, and
abandoned. So don’t cry to me and
tell me

you wish
you had my life.
You don’t know me. I’m not
exempt.

Unable to read your convoluted smile ,
I trusted you with the undiluted faith of a child.
Lightly forsaken, a new fetish of the hour,
Yielding to a physiology of morals.
Your degenerate love travels though me like influenza.
As you fall into your drunken sleep,
I’m just a weary dancing girl,  
Snorting the pieces of my heart for one last high.
Regulating my hatred for you,
Ill leave it to fates spite,
As I walk out the door.

The brute beauty of what I saw before me consumed my body,
I couldn’t look away.
A long narrow winding path of gravel and dirt,
Surrounded by hills of blueberry patches on either side.
Sanctuaried by the cold familiar wind.
The storming sea sat in front of me roaring against the rocky beach,
Listening to harmonious thundering of the waves,
The sun darted across the water,
As I lie back in the grass.

Its mystical fog rolls in and out like the tide;
calm and restful or merciless and destructive,
this sea can be a blessing to man,
but it has also hardened many hearts.

In this serene state I can comprehend how long the universe is,
the time involved in eternity,
and the grains of sand in a googolplex,
serenity unmatched.

The windswept countenance is breath taking,
a stepping stone to the heavens,
the exhilarating panorama exalts me,
then humbles me because of its magnificent beauty.
It demands reverence for it is glorious.

I dare to be labeled a *****.
A **** who enjoys nothing more
than the idea of being loved.
My lovers never fall, they're shoved.
Pushed, until they become a bore.

The next assumes the one before
left my heart in need of a cure.
Imitations of their beloved
I dare to be.

Attempts to decipher my core.
Believing my true essence wore.
Believing that I'm somehow above
my defensive portrayal of
this taboo label of a *****.
I dare to be.

- Jezebel

My soul is tainted
And my fate clearly doomed.
Forgiveness is what I need, but my chances are slim.
I know I'm guilty as sin, but I'll never do it again.

I watched as your gaze met her hollow eyes.
You held your body tight to hers.
My emerald heart poured through my chest
As you dance together again and again.
You are the prey in my line of fire and
what was hers would soon be mine.

Taking you was too easy.
Seems she didn't love you after all.
But me, I craved your essence.
Crimson feelings subdued me
As our hearts and bodies intertwined.

My soul filled up on you, and then some.
Your love was all
That could nourish me.
My appetite never satisfied.
I never got enough of you.

I watched as others admired you,
Envious of the prize I stole.
But they could never do what I did,
They had neither my wit, my charm, nor my alluring appeal.
You could never want anyone else but me.

You belonged to only me and not the world.
I was not going to share you
Or let you go. As my eyes filled up with jade hues,
I gripped you tight so no one
Would take you from me. No one.

Yet underneath it all, I was weakened.
Caught up in you, I did nothing, went nowhere.
When you went out, I sat alone.
In an empty room staring at the white, lifeless walls
All day and all night waiting, waiting.... and nothing else.

When you did return,
You brought back the stench of tequila and perfume too.
The love mark on your collar told me secrets you couldn't hide.
Blood boiled in my skin and four-letter words ripped though my voice.
I threw my fist into the wall, easing the pain of my broken heart.

I have to admit, you learned from the best,
Breaking hearts was our virtue.
Looking back, I can't really place blame
For what you did I've erred too.
I've made my bed
And this is now where I lie
Full of regret and remorse.

I know I'm guilty as sin,
But I swear I'll never do it again.

Wanted someone so much that it hurts,
because after meeting them you know they will always be a part of you.
A piece of you that you can never get back
until they give you a piece of them in return.

Layed in someones arms and felt so comfortable
that it felt like you finally were where you are supposed to be.
Someone that somehow makes you feel more like
yourself then you ever have before.

Put in continued effort that never comes close to matched,
but you push though because you hope from the deepest part of your heart
that maybe, just maybe, they will one day feel the same.

Known you deserve better,
but you can't walk away,
because you love them so wholly,
and don't want anyone else.

Stayed up all night sick to your stomach,
knowing they are fine with ignoring you.
Yet you cry uncontrollably over them,
until you finally fall asleep.

Been made to feel so small and unimportnant,
but you just cant accept that.
So you push and push til your exhausted
and just give up cause your heart is so broken it cant take anymore.

Had to walk away from the best thing
that ever happened to you.
So that maybe, just maybe,
they would finally realize what they had.

It's at dusk with the setting of the sun
that unimportant memories of the day are forgotten
and old ones trickle back slowly.
It's in the brief seconds of twilight
that dreams and reality mesh,
never truly revealing which is leaving you.
This blissful ignorance is riddled with
false hope which never lasts.

In the fog of an overtired mind a light appears,
and guides the memory to wander a little further.
Revealing a faith lost to this world,
In this fleeting dusk I forget how this all ends,
and I'm ok with lying to myself.