She always wants to sit at the counter behind my desk.
Truthfully I don’t mind. But as the teacher, it wouldn’t be fair to let her.
Her eyes bright with knowledge and pain.
I can see her strength but she only feels her vulnerability.
She has such a spark.
I want her to find where it can be ignited.
The name we call each other - cucarachita.
Why? I have no idea.
But when I say it to her, I’m really calling her
Mi hija.

All powerful God, rescue me from this black hole that threatens to swallow me up. The gravity of it tries its best to pull me in, yet all it wants to do is spit me out. It wants to eject me into the vast galaxy so that I feel lost, floating, untethered. So that when I pass a star, I fear getting too close lest it burns me. Before, I looked upon the radiant pulsars as sources of beauty and relief from the ocean of black. I will not be consumed. I will not be stripped of my lightness. Enveloping wings lift me, weightless, full of grace and purpose. The tips of the wings never leave me. If I only grasp one feather, it’s enough. It holds me back from the depths, while I rise above them, hovering. Though I may have to see the nothingness for a time, I am never a part of it. A golden strand saves me. I climb it one grip at a time. The higher I get, the more buoyant I become. Leaping from star to star, able to reach the light, shedding remnants of fear. They, instead of me, get absorbed into the darkness.

My heart has not been known until you, and you alone
I know it to be true deep in my soul

Your heart so pure and strong and true tells me that I am home with you
Everyday you prove your intentions by what you do

Possibly the greatest gift you give me is to love me and want me as I am
My heart dances with your melody

It seems impossible to express how much I value and love you in lines and scribbles on a page
If you could only see my heart swells every time I see your face

The question everyone wants answered is "How do I know if I'm loved?"
I now know how it feels to love with wings, our hearts abide together with warmth and trust.

Oh little one
Full of so much joy
Your love of life
is contagious
Your sweet and feisty eyes
fill my soul
To feel your
tiny heartbeat
when you sit on my lap
warms my own.
Watching you
do a twirl
when you want
a treat
brings me
delight
You're small
but scrappy.
Your delicate paws
can dig
quite the hole!
The color
of your fur is
the perfect mix
of sandy and golden,
wiry and unruly
in some places
and downy soft
in others.
No matter how long
you play outside
or roll in the dirt,
you always maintain
a sweet smell.
Your nose and eyes add
an innocence with their pink,
fleshy color.
But it's not just me who adores you.
You steal the heart
of almost anyone
who meets you.
So easy to cuddle
and play with.
It's certain to see
that you were
put on this earth
to spread sunshine and joy.
And remind us
to be fearless
and enjoy life to the fullest.
I'm lucky you are in my life.

The viking I first saw was novel and rough
My initial intention was to call his bluff.
Underneath sparse layers was ***** fluff - not too clever.
And I realized I allowed for a fruitless endeavor.

Boldness and charisma gave way to a love of precise procedure
To be a puppet master was your real game
Under the thinly-veiled guise of a burgeoning leader
Your veneer cracked quickly when you found you could not ***** my flame

Mirror, mirror what do you see?
The problem was you never saw me.
Constant praise is what you sought
For my heart, you never fought.

Quicksand beneath my feet, the whole place was never solid ground.
To accept your charm just for me was a losing gamble.
But it was not in your eyes that I was meant to be found.
That was the time for both of us to ramble.

A novel flash I could not deny
But was it you who truly caught my eye?
Maybe I just wanted to dance with the city
Your camera made me feel so pretty
I wanted it to be you, I wished I could.
But it was actually the bay and the moon and the streetlights I savored.

You saw me.
You shared the wind with me.
Let it whip through my hair, with you at the helm.
You shone your light, sent me adrift out to sea.
Later I would know you weren't letting me go.
You were setting me free
So I'd have more stories to tell.

Confident and rapt, you swept me into your spell
Romantic endeavors unmatched, love unable to quell
Dyed in the wool from a family of snow
Perhaps my reflection was too faint in your eyes
Because I was afraid to glow

I saw the forest, not the trees
By the river I was lulled into a dream
A fantasy of languor, of music, of ease
But it wasn't really my dream,
Just an escape from life's grand scheme.

What is a Southern gentleman worth?
Hard work, a home with a porch, and a backyard grill.
Perhaps another fortune unseen, chalk it up to mirth.
I was not yet focused on the final bill.

A paradox of darkness and wisdom
Of passionate reckoning and expedient mercy
From the depths you steadily go and come
Elixir in hand outstretched, ready to touch
But to heal or bask in revelry?

You once said I was your angel, there to lift you up
If only I realized what kind of saving you really needed
I was never meant to pick up all the pieces
I pray for your soul, that you are now whole

Your machismo was your key to every door
I was too naive to keep mine locked
As much as I thought I wanted more
You were too fragile to let your heart be caught

A torrent of chemistry and technicolor hues
Your heart got tangled up in two
I trust that your intentions were true
But the current was strong,
And you got caught in the net you threw

Handsome, young, hopeful and trusting
My immature ways clouded my view
Your heart, so pure and loving
Though you saw me, I could not see you

The kitten’s purr heard above a lion’s roar

A chick’s peep as it breaks out of its shell

Sensed with more urgency than a low din of hungry growls

A contented sigh savored over a hearty laugh

The embrace of love is felt more powerfully than those that are spoken

The landing of a feather as it reverberates energy infinitely

Creates more impact than quakes and eruptions that shake the bones of the land

Must we value sound by speed, light by travel, alchemy by reactions?

Power is felt slight and silent

Through whispers and breezes and sparks and trickles

Through unnoticed quantum movements to other realms

With wit as silken nets to catch the stars,

Scooping them back into the slice of brightness forever seen in the depths of our eyes

The shadows come and go,

Retreating in the forests of longing and unquenched passion and anger and despair

Only to emerge in perfect timing amongst the peaceful meadows as freshly-bloomed

Wildflowers of all colors and shapes

Each following the cycles of the sun and the moon

The warmth and the frost, the dying and the rebirth

Stillness cocoons our cosmic heartbeat

Glistening silence creates us as One, closing and opening, but never ending.

As soon as my eyes register what the letters spell

Instantaneously my heart swells

A primordial, instinctual response born of an ancient and raw familiarity

The words are unceremonious, yet they are tranquilizing

Soothing and dizzying

As curing as a bolt of lightening is to the night sky above a restless sea

An essence of home, but not of tedium or indifference

Oh no, there is nothing ordinary about this lightening strike,

Nor does the open sea repel its heat.

A fire embers deep in the belly, a match strikes every time I read his words

Or listen to his voice

Yet his face is of a stranger, a hazy silhouette that I can’t quite articulate

I yearn to sharpen the outline of this magic-inducing presence

To apply color, to fill in the lines.

But this form does not need solidifying at the moment

A touch, gentle and passionate at once, accesses my soul,

And shifts the functions of my body

I try to, want to resist.  I have to.

But I want it.  I welcome it.  My heart yearns for it.  My spirit calls for it.

How do I know? How do I know?

A living, pulsating mystery that has already unfolded, but is shrouded in mist.

I must keep going. I must persevere. My curiosity must not, cannot, wane.

In this, my vision is not linked with my eyes, the cry is not heard with my ears.

His scent is untraceable.

I am unable to touch or taste his flesh.

These senses are disabled.

It is only our spirits that can communicate.

It is our hearts that can listen and respond to the reciprocal calling.

Someday the fog will lift and roll away, taking with it the enigma and secrecy.

Remaining in the wake, rhythms of the earth that never stopped,

Stripping the questions of all but their lucidity

Love waiting on the crest of the waves of our souls.

The sunshine brings back memories sometimes.

Memories of times that feel eons away, yet are not that long ago.

My life in chapters, many feel more like succinct short stories

Or narratives or even poems.

A moment in time so unlike any other

That only a few words can capture its importance.

I miss the open skies of the West.

The feeling of promise, of hope, of enthusiasm, and excitement.

A full and vibrant energy silently,

But powerfully circulating through the air.

I miss the color of blue that the sky becomes in the mountains,

Speckled foreground of bright, golden leaves.

The sparkling, gurgling rivers.

Hiking in secret, sacred places.

I miss having a partner,

But not to the extent of sacrificing my well-being or peace.

Nostalgia isn’t bad.

It’s simply a quick reemergence into a pool of water

That you’ve dove into before.

Some waters are warmer than others.

I combine my past with my future.

I look to my dreams. I see the West in them all.

All the delirium

All the adrenaline

What is it for?

To boost what isn’t there?

To create a semblance of a mirage?

Feeling is the key

Yet to numb is the goal

I can be happier when it’s induced

But melancholy comes so easily

Cradled, coddled, loved

By imagination and dreams

They say perceptions are reality

Yet where do my feet stand?

Solid ground turns to quick sand

Like a lit match blown out in an instant

Anything to alter, to shift, to persuade

The magnitude of hope becomes too much

Can a mustard seed indeed flourish?

Light me up and let me go

Instigate just to leave me bored

I’m ok if I lay down at night

With my spirit and my heart still as one

Truth conjures love and love is all

Love in its many forms and levels

Desire is to converge and level all at once

My heart has burst open

It has seen and felt the softness

Of an open heart, filled with light.

What may have been an interruption

In the purity of flowing water

Does not take away the clarity to see.

Deep into the creek bed,

The once still waters began stirring long

Before any rapids edged out eddies of halted emotions.

But the emotions can’t be halted, nor am I sure

They are meant to be.

The inner-most sanctions of my heart

Stay true to the one meant for me.

The twists and turns of life may make it less certain

But it does not need to make it less attainable.

I wish you could see, really see.

The ease, the magic, the looks, the desire.

It’s not to run from.

It’s intended, despite the unknown outcome.

All outcomes are unknown.

Only the Light has Its hand

For all who will hear, all who will surrender.

My heart will stay strong.

I will not lose my glow, my demonstration of the highest love

That has been placed in me.

It is in our nature. Always.

So join with me in the sacredness of this love.

It is a rare and special gift.

Let’s cherish it, so that it may grow.

She saw him first

She turned her head and witnessed a smile on a face

A breezy, tropical, real smile

One that exuded actual joy

A magnificent alignment of ****** muscles

Paired with a tangible radiance

A sharpness to his lightness

A consciousness

It was white sand, warm and blowing strands of hair around her face

It was a sparkling brook and fluttering golden Aspen leaves on a Fall day

It was the rush of a busy, invigorating city block at night,

heading to a favorite restaurant

All at once

It seemed that those of that kind were extinct

Those of her kind

She smiled like he did. But he didn’t notice her yet…

They needed to meet.

She turned back to her conversation, pleasant but unfeeling

She was open to receive.  She remained open.  That is all.

No coyness, no coquettish eyes, no second glances over her shoulder.

Simply let him see her.

This happens or it doesn’t

Does she want another Old Fashioned.  Probably..

Of course she does.

As she starts to depart to the bar,

An intoxicating scent foreign to her senses wafts behind her.

A full and dynamic energy passes inches from her.

Her heart beats faster, she shifts her stance, licks her lips

As she draws in the air that has recirculated a fresh sweetness

Her attention turns to her right

“Have you met my colleague?”

They were both looking at her with glowing, dancing eyes.

It was him.

She smiled.

He saw her.

Everything you see in your mind,
every vision,
everything that you can imagine,
is real.
It's not fake.
It's waiting to come alive.
It's reality pending.
But you have to give it power.
You have to make it so.

Are you strong enough to be my man?

No, this is not a Sheryl Crow song.

This is my question to you.

I don't think you are.

You shy away from passion.

You lurk in the shadows of truth.

You cower from taking a stand.

I revel in my strength,

In my complexity,

In my depth.

I know myself.

Rise up, man!

Rise up if you have something to show.

Come on, let's spar.

I didn't think so.

You couldn't handle me anyway.

Radiant, glowing, waiting, knowing

Wanting to leap

Watching the sky and what’s below simultaneously

Freedom within your grasp

Yet slowly, slowly…retracting

You can hear my whispers on the wind

Gaze into my eyes by the light of the moon

You surrendered before

But felt pain in your freefall

Not the wings you anticipated.

Unbind your wings!

They never left you

Break the silence with your wild song

Run! Come find me again!

I’m here. You cannot get lost.

My beacon is shining bright

Strong, sure, unwavering, focused

On you, only you

Guiding you

All you have to do is follow and trust

As you get closer, your wings loosen from the reins that held them back

Their massive, glorious structure longs to unleash their strength

To stretch to their full span

Blinding light exuding

Whipping through the air

Creating powerful gusts that send your thoughts, your love

Rushing straight into my heart

You are weightless and golden like the rays of the sun

Believe again

Let is reside in the garden of our souls

Let us feel what it’s like to finally be home

I want to go to a place
where I hear music like Bob Seger and Pat Benetar
To be in the presence of curls of smoke,
the smell of whiskey,
and low rumbles of talk
I don't necessarily want to talk
Just to feel like I'm not alone
A sense of belonging and a buzz
Is that so wrong from time to time?

The genius, the madman
Screaming and clawing at the edges of the mind
Pushing through the drone-like psyche to realness, to rawness
Sacrificing light, dwelling in a hell of their own making
Looking toward the sky from the bottom of a pit
Too far to climb, too tired to try
The ropes they throw are too short or too flimsy
In the darkness, the shards of light that do penetrate
Enter for sporadic moments
Sharp enough to draw forth a burst of life, of rage, of passion
Of anger, of bliss, of God
If someone hears it, they pay no mind, no matter
In the silence, they find their voice
Rough, raspy, barely audible, aching
Caught with cries and burns from toxic smoke and acidic respite
The roar has to be released
They wish it could be strong, clear, to mean something
Reach real people who will listen, understand, resonate, mourn and wail with them
But it falls on deaf tones, and the mask is safe
Although frayed at the edges, makeup melting, eye holes hollow
Smile wearily fading,
Ready to be ripped off the moment they glance away
They can find a mirage of a peaceful mossy bank
Soft and musky and pillowy
Even if it is surrounded by pipes and pills and needles and bottles
They can sit on that island of their own making
And float into space, free for a moment
Untethered to the gravity that pulls them back to their reality of solemnity
And wrath and gravelly talk of meaningless words of air and noise
They need to stop the noise, stop the oncoming barrage of atmospheric pollution
To stop the energetic vampires pulling at their soul
Plucking their heart strings like a worn-out guitar
With nothing left to give to any sort of musical legacy
But in the pit, dark and silent as it is
At least the screams and madness and hopelessness are only in their heads
Able to be occasionally quelled with rhythms and beats on good days
Blood and tears on bad days
At last, when silence is truly all-encompassing
Surrounding mind, body, and soul
They can rest
And the spark can prepare to ignite again