7.19.15
I've never quite trusted in love,
so I can't offer an explanation to you as to the reason why,
the reason why that when I saw you I experienced heart palpitations
I couldn't then.
Multiple individuals ask why i'm attracted to you,
They don't ask that in a negative connotation,
it's just we are Polar Opposites,
Night and Day,
Introvert and Extrovert,
Optimistic and Pessimistic.
Though I never seem to be able to conjure an explanation,
So I just smile..
Though here I am at 6:28 in the morning racking my brain attemping to fathom my thoughts and feelings,
vigorously scribbling them onto the paper.
*******!
I can't understand them,
I can't offer explanation,
I don't need it for them,
I don't need it for myself,
I need it for you
Because I can’t explain it.
So I'm left mumbling the words into your ear,
Praying to a God that I'm not sure exists anymore,
That you believe me when I say,
I love you..
Well yes and no...
I love you.
I love you.
....
No, I'm in love with you.
That’s the only explanation.
I am submerged in the idea of love.

                                                     8.21.15
                                          (5:43 in the morning)
I should have known the second your brown eyes glanced into mine.
Opposites attract,
Even my 3rd year science class taught me that.
Opposites charges attract,
and make pure energy..
I saw you,
and from my heart,
emitted pure love.
I love you.
Though throughout this month I've began learn...
Pure love, isn't easy.

I open my sketch book,
flip through the tattered pages
I flip halfway and examine the page's contents.

                                                      ­                                                      8.9.15
    ­                                                 Oh god..
                                              She makes me...
                                                      Happy­.
                                                       -S.B.R

Upon flipping through the notes,
I notice she is embedded in many,
before I ever noticed I was in love.
I don't have the best luck when it comes to love,
though I find myself writing ****** love songs about her.

                                                           ­                                                      7.16.15  
                                                    (4:24 A.M)                                
                            ­                         "Oh god,
                        her beauty leaves me with lack of words,
                  when I see her smile the rest of the world is blurred..."
                                                    -­S.B.R

She gives me hope love is worth it,
******* if her smile doesn't send my heart in a fit.
But like I said, I don't have the best luck with love
so however it ends,
I make sure make sure to write this last letter.

       Dear God,
                                    MAKE SURE she's happy..
                                                    -S.B.­R

Just know that the text message on your screen only says "Hi."..
It doesn't say "Welcome back, I missed you so much!",
I'm being civil,
I'm doing what's right for me.
I'm not inviting you back.
I won't let you destroy me again.
Not again.
*******,
No.

I once figured you were the feeling in my chest from the music's kick drum,
Now I just realized that you were the
most ******* twisted lyrics.
That had the ability to invoke the most chaotic emotions and  rip apart my **** heart.
I looked into your eyes as I lit the cigarette between my lips and swayed my hips to the drums beat.
You pulled it out from my mouth, kissed my cheek and said.
"It'll **** you, I can't have you gone. It would **** my heart"
Every **** day of the week,
You told me smoking would end me,
You snatched the cigarette and extinguished it,
And  as you did I noticed the bad taste in my mouth.
I gave it up for you.
I gave it all up for you.

but now,

Your eyes dart to me,
I reach in my pocket,
And grab a cigarette,
I turn away,
And light it up.
I smile as I walk away
One can't die if they're heartless.
You were wrong, it was not your heart slain, yet mine.
I notice a bad taste in my mouth,
though it's not invoked by the filter between my lips.
It's invoked by the dreaded memories of your red lip stick smudged along my collar and lips.
I glance back and catch a glance at your eyes.
but I won't extinguish my cigarette
though  I will  extinguish my unrequited love,
just like you extinguished my cigarette.