You have probably deleted and thrown away every pictures we had
You're not reminded of me by the things that I have given you
You probably don't remember me
I'm just a girl you met in the past

but I just couldn't throw everything away
l am still reminded of you by the smallest things
You are not just a guy a met in the past
You were everything to me
You were my life

when you sleep it's like you never cried,

breathing soft and steady, wet cheeks dried.



when you sleep it's like you never lost,

boundaries weren't broken and lines weren't crossed.



when you sleep it's like you're still there,

and you still smile and you still care.



when you sleep you look young as I,

no crease in your brow and no old worn sigh.



and so if sleep is death just being shy,

is it still so wrong,

to wish

to die?

You came to my life like a giant meatball falling from the sky
So weird and unexpected
As if someone invented a machine just to see me taste how flavourful life is

Everyday felt like a new one
And I discovered that there was more of me
More than the flavors of jelly beans
Just as colorful and fun

I let you eat all the midnight snacks
just because I'm already full, talking to you all night
and right after you fell sleep
I prayed for an infinite possibilities and chances
that tomorrow is another day with you

I cry on my knees
I laugh out loud,
and do it both at the same time
I look at photographs,
I think about the stars,
I remember the past,
I get sadder and it suddenly hard to grasp
I regret a lot of things,
and I can't breathe
I died in the shower,
I will die again today in the water,
I worry about tomorrow,
as if the day is not enough for suffocation,
I cut and iron my hair,
I draw happy faces on my skin,
I pluck the strings of ukulele,
and read a book about jellyfish
while I listen to a song called Tenderfoot
and still --
I couldn't be able to love myself

when the world heals
and everything back to what it was
my life would remain still