I’m on my way… to my own personal… on the inside…
Celebration… ya know?
Cuz I realized… I already did the tuffest jobs I’ll ever do…
I done raised my kids…
loved my loves…
bumped my head…
learned my lessons…
fought my fights…
forgiven my foes…
and finally…finally…
forgiven…
my… self..

And I’ve come far…
A long loooong way…
But I know I still got a long way to go…
So
I just might get me a push-up bra…
and a low-cut blouse…
And maybe a weave… and some New Journey shoes…
For my new journey.. some new high heels will
Certainly do…
Heels high enuf to make my
Thighs stand out… and
My ankle turn just so... and
My Hips sway when I step… and
My skirt tail snap when I pass… and
When I pass…
I’ma give a little look over my shoulder… like this…

So you can see…
That I saw you see me…

But I’m just gon give a LITTLE look
Cuz I can’t look BACK
For TOO long!
See, I might be tempted to TURN back…
An try to
re-do somethin’… or
explain somethin’... or
fix somethin’… or
cry over somethin’…

And I’ve just plain come too far!!!
Baby… I’ve
Come too far to turn back now…
And still got a long long way to go…


Come Too Far To Turn Back Now
Carla Marie 2012

How disconcerting…


Brace for a fight

Lace up the gloves

Vaseline the soft spots

Turn corners on two wheels

Arrive and

Kick in the doors

To find that

The Enemy

Is no longer in existence

Already vanquished

By an even greater enemy

Leaving in its wake

A pitiable thing

Arousing in a decent soul

Compassion…and

Prayers...


For one’s self--

Strength

And for the other--

Mercy…


Nothing honorably left to do

BUT pray

For one ’s self---

Only that God notices

This quiet sacrifice

Cuz there will be no

Forgive-me’s… or

Thank-you’s…or

I-love-you’s… or even

Closure

When one unlaces the gloves

Washes the face

Rolls up the sleeves

And returns

For cruelty

Compassion

For ill will

Tenderness

For Indifference

Clemency

And for Unkindness

Humanity…


And pray

For the other---

Only

Mercy…

Have Mercy…

Have Mercy Lord…

I avert my eye

To give a man his privacy and his pride

To not see you cry for her

Deep and heartbreaking

Chest rumbling sobs that

Vibrate the bones… and

Steal the breath…



And make a note to self…



You were the children of best friends together...

To become lovers when you noticed each other with lover’s eyes

You were the children of farmer’s together…

To become rich… only to forget to be camels… and

Get through the eye of a needle together… so

I avert my eye

To give a man his privacy and his pride



To not see you

Desperately in love... and

Frantically desperate

In her final agonizing days

To make up for lost time…

To find the breadcrumbs

That will lead you back home…

To find the path

That you strayed from…

To find it again… too late



I avert my eye

And make a note to self