As I sit here amongst the dark
it can never match the shade of my heart
this ****** world, this ****** pain
Neither can I ever escape
As sound of my sobbing disperses into the night
I know they will never be heard
Not even one ear will even be disturbed
In this moment I can optimize my weakness
And tell you that it will encounter no resistance
I cant hold on the something with no texture
I cant go on knowing none of the answers
The laughter surrounds me
An atmosphere so un-suited
My mind so diluted, and I cant relate to them
They cant relate to me, or even begin to see
Why is it the darkness that I seek
Why all of this social anxiety
I understand myself but I never react
Possibly I cant
But can I establish that
Is it a fact
Or am I just ashamed, that I wont be able to face this pain
That I cant make it go away
And instead of getting help I just make it harder on myself
It can all be traced back the fear
This Fear trapped within, always to remain
And everyday its simply the same
Eating away at my brain
All these minutes I become less sane
So step out of the way
Wouldn’t want this train wreck to touch you
I don’t want to spread my infection
Because they’re will be no resurrection
The ****** razor in my hand
And I will never understand
why I cant just end it
all I can ever do is mend it
with sight of the blood
and my hopes for love
my heart so thrashed
I should just end it at last
Then I could forget the past
And **** the future
There are plenty of other people just like me
To fill the my absentee
Blood drips from my eyes
As I remove my disguise
How do you like it you get to see my real life
As the blood drys to my face
I’m left in the darkness and its cold embrace
Nothing left to conceal
I guess you now know how I really feel

The beast awakens

The earth is shaken

Deep it dwells

More than a challenge is it to quell

Dark is his heart, like an endless well

Born out of hate

Dead and alive few can relate

Many years spent in this blackened state

As he rises from the depths

He wonders where to place his next step

A whole new place, a brand new face

His new life awaits

As a butterfly removes it's cocoon

It realizes its has wings, what is it to do?

Only option is to flap and fly

Reveal its true beauty and remove it's disguise

A 2nd, 2nd chance

The 3rd phase in this timeless dance

What happens next? Where does he go from here?

Which direction to go? Which way to steer?

Only thing he knows is anywhere is better than where he's been

left in the ocean with nowhere to swim

Running down an endless hallway as the lights grew dim

Time to bury the past and uncover the future

Forget all it was to be that creature

Leave all of the hate and the snarl

Remember what it was to just be Carl