I hate how you take your coffee
And leave water on the floor when you take a shower

I hate the way you tell me directions
I hate you make me feel at home

I hate the way you know me
I hate how it brings me bliss

I hate how good I sleep when we’re together
It’s even worse when you hold me

I hate that my day doesn’t start until I hear your voice
And how I’ll call just to tell my mind I tried

I hate and even hate more when you stare me
I hate you for knowing me

Through all my hate
I’ve never hated you
Not even a little
Not even a moment

Didn't know it was possible to feel like this bad
It won't always feel like this
But I don't want to not feel like this about you
I only want you

Someone said ,"The greatest love is the one that you can't live without. The one that you're prepared to die for."
It's all wrong
It's not what love it
It's more romantic to live for it

If there is a way to be together
Just tell me, now
I love you
I'm not going to stop loving you till the day I die
..I love you

We'll find each other
We'll come back
here..

I'll be drifting..
until I find you

I'll be searching for you
every moment,
every single moment

When we do find each other again
No one can tear us apart
Joined so tightly
We'll be joined so tight

Let's come back here,
every year
Midday
I'll come
I'll be here, every year
My whole life

When we've come here,
Just an hour
We'll be together
Every year

If you do meet someone.. you like
Be kind to them
Don't compare them

Be glad with goodbye
You love me
Miss me for just a short moment

Love yourself the most
You can push
I want you to be glad now

Let go of the weight
You can heal
You can finally be free

Clarity be my guide
I want to picture a world
Where a simple song can make a difference
Each day I wake, searching
I don’t want to imagine a future without you
I can’t do that
But your gone, the answer escapes me
Seems like everyone else has it figured it out
Still, tomorrow will come

Clarity be my guide
It makes me sick, why is everyone so happy?
I walk this alone
There is more to life, I need to know
Lost so far, home alone, I shut myself off
You call, your voice leads me

Clarity be my guide
Whatever comes, guide me back to light
Let the fantasy
Lift me high, and I’ll be me

Clarity be my guide
Please stay by my side

I'm sorry too,
I'm sorry I believed you could be genuine,
I'm sorry I believed your lies,
After lies,
After lies,

I'm sorry,
Feeling I thought I felt were real
All fake!
Fake because it was built upon YOUR mountain
Mountain of lies,
You said feelings towards me were real
Why?

They were built upon my mountain

Truth,
I was real.
I was genuine,
I truly cared about your feelings
Your heart,
Your soul,
Your truth

Pain,
Only thing that was real...
It's deep
Still searching,
Searching for the feeling I had for you,
Searching in a dark room,
Blind
Wandering around for that feeling

Feeling I'm searching for,
Not real,
Blank,
Feeling won't be there...
Searching for a ghost

It's done

My light?
Stop your pity
I'm alone!

Wondering,
Wandering,
Crashing,
Failing,
Why me!

Again!

Stop!
Let me drift here
Please!
It's quiet

Your story doesn't bother me,
Your past meant nothing to me,
Changed nothing

If,
If!
If this talk happened in the beginning,
I wouldn't be here

I wish..
I wish,
I wish you trust me

Here I sit,
Dark room

I don't worry about others
In always being 2nd I found true loneliness
Not being the one people come too
Being told 2nd hand information
Telling me a story after you told someone else, don't want it
Why bother?

I regret ever thinking I could leave my box
At least there I wasn't lied too
At least there I wasn't lied to about being 1st
What a mistake

Box is safe
Secure

I think about the choices I made and don't even know myself
My judgment keeps shifting from neutral to having compassion

Days I shrink down to existing
At midnight my chest is tight and hard to breathe
In the silence, I give up fighting

Am I?

Am I a good person?
I've lied
I cheated
Yet people who know me say I am?
Am I?

Only child
Single parent household
Being *****
Dated
Married
Single

All events I've learned and grown with the information I had at the time

When does being a good person come to light?

Am I a good person or am I just learning?

I am honest with myself
I am rude
I am smart on paper
I fail
I lie
I explain

What is true about me?

I dated this guy once who I felt was everything

Define everything!
Cause I am not sure
He is honest, makes me feel safe, makes me laugh, and so much more

The word everything doesn't feel like asking too much

Am I good?
I lied to him
He left,
He told me I need to find me

We talk, kinda

Not in hopes of finding me and thinking we'll be together
In hopes of understanding or experiencing finding the true me

Am I me?