My heart pounds within my chest, my breathing intensifies;
The chasm inside my stomach reminds me it is anxiety not excitement.
Tumultuous thoughts tumble through my head and he can see it in my eyes.
So many words cycle yet I remain silent.

My body screams vulnerability.
He tries to reassure me but everything he says is wrong.
I don’t want to be a liability.
He should not be responsible for my emotions, regardless of how strong.

I claim it is a social construct
But I’ve refused to indulge in the curiosity.
It will simultaneously, in society, induct
Me, while others cry atrocity

I am trying to draw lines,
I want no shades of grey.
Our relationship, this will not define.
Not my heart, but my mind it will betray.

I have so many expectations,
But at the same time, I hold none.
I never pictured myself yielding to temptations,
Especially not this one…

Yet here I lie, shaking, while he climbs atop me--
I want this, I’m saying yes, but I’m terrified.
He walks confidently through my unfamiliar sensuality;
My hands, my lips, my chest, my hips: he is my guide.

The pressure builds between my legs, but that’s to be expected.
My breathing hitches -- He switches our position.
He shatters the construction society erected.
I succumb to inhibition.

I creep back into familiar territory.
When did this become familiar territory?
My hands creep back up his chest, no longer exploratory
In the light, my ring glistens. I wipe my mouth: Purity.