See it but never feel it.
Get close, only to push it away.
“Don’t know what you’ve got til it’s gone”
Epitome of my life.
What is wrong with me?
What makes me so un-lovable?
Can someone remove this defective sign from my forehead,
And replace it with a kiss.
I want more than mediocre.
I want someone to miss.
Do I ask for too much?
Are my requirements unachievable?
My heart remains unconquered, unattained.
I’m tired of fairy tale endings,
Silly thoughts put in my head by unrealistic, but hopelessly believable movies.
They are all the same.
Girl meets boy. Girl messes it up. Boy forgives girl.
Happily Ever After.
At least they let on that relationships have problems.
I want raw, unrelenting love.
The real deal.
No movie, novel, or episode of “*** and the City” could ever touch.
Left alone, drowning in thoughts,
Who else in the world could need love,
Like I need love?

I love your voice,
your soft brown hair.
I love your eyes
and love your stare.

I love your laugh,
your cocky smirk,
your stupid jokes.
You precious ****,
you know I do love you.
I want my hands
all through your hair
each treasured strand.
I’m wrapped around
your finger still.
Am I yet yours?
Your love does ****
the things I hold
so close to me
and yet you’re the
best **** I see.

I need to be better,
I **** at math,
I don’t want to disappoint the people I love.
Please make it all stop.
go away, go away,
I’m so **** ugly,
My head hurts,
Why would he ever like me?
I’m a b**.
I’m so negative.
I don’t want these thoughts,
I don’t want to be spoiled and hate my life.
I have it good.
But I can’t.
Please make it all stop.
Too many tears,
this self hatred swirling around in me just builds.
I love life,
but it’s distorted by shadow and flame.
Please make it stop.
Someone please give me a hand out of this dark.

Society mocks abstinence
but God detests all fornicators.
God gives us sacred purity
society offers ***.
God says to love everyone,
yet he loathes homosexuals
in the bible they stone people,
and feed people to lions.
society says be yourself,
yet laughs in your face.

Some people
believe in destiny.
That everything
is what it is
meant to be.
And nothing can ever change that.
Someday everything we have done
to make this world ours,
will be destroyed.
And that will be it.
Just like that, in a blink of an eye
it will be over.
And they are okay with that.
I like to think of
free-willed people
as rebellious,
not caring what anyone thinks.
They are stubborn,
and in their mind
they believe what is meant to be will be
even if they know at some point everything that
happens in their life time will be pointless.
Because at some point this world will end.

The cuts on your wrists, pain in your eyes.
Little girl, don't you see I was just like you?
Scared and alone.
No where to go.
Ugly they did call me,
but if they really saw me they would see,
the beauty.
And you are just like me.
Hold your head high, things will get better.
Keep pushing on through the stormy weather.
It is hard to be thirteen.
I remember it so clearly, how their words did hurt me
You are not alone.
You don't need expensive jeans, or shiny, pretty things.
Just be true to who you are, you will go so far.
Just put the blade away, you deserve a better way.
Everything will be okay.

These wounds, they still drip red.
I still cannot find a way out of this dark gray bed.
Stuck here with the painful memories inside my head.
These wounds, they wouldn't be so hidden
if you would take the time to find who I am
Drifting in your own sea, so far away from me.
These wounds, they can't heal
You just made me forget how to feel
I can only take so much
feeling heartless and cold to the touch.
These wounds, still drip red