Just once I'd like to be useful
Without feeling used
Every town brings the same sadness
What started out with sights to see
Now, could never bring such a thing

Within the walls of each private room
She laid the stones to build her tomb
Underneath the cheap perfume
No cry to be heard at that volume
Pulls off the g-string. Shame resume.
Too many drugs to think
Too many desirable things
Have turned her into a machine
On the stage. Insert money.

Time did not make her what it promised
Plastered on each ad
Traveling towns to be the feature
What happened to that beautiful creature?
And all the glamour, all the splendor
Each cocktail with each ring betrayed bachelor
When no one's around, she looks confused
She said just once I'd like to be useful
Without feeling used
She prepares herself
For when they surround
No cognizance is found

look at what you did
i dont want nobody to cry
i will always be alive
don't want that sadness
won't pay homage to me
can't never end the life
alive in memory

it's so hard to believe
oh man what you done to me
what happened to the woman
you come from
how could you forget her?
well i'm not one to talk
i'm about to do the same thing
and throw away the love she gave to me

time doesn't make it easy
the truth just opens up
with each minute i see a new thing
and it's all crashing into me
soon i will be free

I bit the apple with the hope
That it would taste like it once did
Once there was sweetness
But the reality is
It's aged to bitter

I check the phone when it's not ringing
The radio is off but I hear singing
The tree in the front yard
Dropped its fruit this winter
No nectar inside
You've aged to bitter

Now I can't escape the words
Though I have boarded up my mouth
They make their way out of my eyes
As my lungs are collapsing with these sighs
From all the wonder whys
Trying to pour out
I tip the bottle to my lips
Until they can no longer swim

And sometimes ships
Are brought down by their treasure

She wanders.

To herself,
Imagines a cup
On a shelf
Behind a
Wall of glass
Not made to penetrate

She holds

An empty hand
Held out to help him stand
But first he tips
The cup to his lips
Then chooses to let go

She lost

The path once on
Is now thick haze
The fear is not
Night but truth
In lightened days

And let go

From her place
Left empty
Right the same
The balance
Is not act
But forever to be this way

How many haunted handbooks
Will I have to read
Before I shake you ghost,
And convince it all to leave?
When will the food I eat
Ever settle in my body?
How can I learn to trust
When I am set on self-destruct?

Read this carefully
Look me up and down
Maybe you will see
Another human being

If I tried to count the times
The thought of you has crossed my mind
And how this shouldn't be
And why you've chosen me

Well tonight I grip my knees
As they're pressed tight against my chest
And I am left to feel alone
But can't go through with it
Tonight I beg and plead
Only to be free
To go back to the life I had
Why does my soul feel so bad?

One more day then one more week
Then why were you thinking you would ever want to leave
Even though it all settles to uneasy
Don't make this your eternity

I'll never learn to love
I'll never learn to trust
Read this carefully
This letter is set
To self-destruct

To hurt and to be hurt.
There is no emotion so pure. Nothing makes me feel quite so alive so I seek and I strive to be hurt once again. I duck and I dive into a foxhole, the loss of control pumps the blood through my veins. It's in no one I confide in the war zone I hide for a chance at a stray to come quickly my way while my body is ******* to your thoughts of caressing the form that slowly unfolds. Naked I may be there is something you can't see, the truth will remain untold.
To love and to be loved.
There is no greater lie. It will never be enough, though you may try to convince me to believe it is not just a four letter word for deceive, your words will never get through to me. Why else would you do the things that you do? I won't cry, I won't move. I'll crack a smile when it's all through, while I tell myself you did exactly what I wanted you to.

It's my naked body. It's my clenching teeth.
Like a droplet that forms perfectly
Just leave it be
It's my imperfect skin. It's my squinting eyes.
Like a clever disguise
Just let it sink in.

Behind closed walls
I make my money
An empty heart
Pumping alcohol
To do the things
Make them feel life
And then they tell me
I am wasting mine