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I don't know why my heart stopped when I saw you.
I don't know why I fumbled over my words more than usual.
I asked you twice nearly thrice how you were doing
and tripped into the desk
and shuffled my piles of books onto the desk-
God I was so awkward
but you just smiled and shook your head-
like you did long ago.
You asked me what I was doing
and my brain rocketed to the ends of the earth and back
desperate to find something cute, clever, and witty to say,
I so badly wanted to be interesting-
for you to think I'm interesting-
But somehow the only thing I managed to say was
"nothing"
and you smiled and looked at me with those big,m familiar brown eyes
and I couldn't place how I felt.
I couldn't keep myself from remembering.
I felt so safe in your arms,
wandering the forest
and napping in that boat
at the edge of that lake
while the party raged behind us on land.
I thought it was cool that you had been to juvy
and I'm a sucker for asians
and you didn't mind that I was a loser
and the way you pulled me closer
and burried your face in my neck-
I've only ever wanted to feel safe,
and I felt safe with you.
and today as I fumbled to act normally
I saw that you still didn't care that I was a loser,
and in all your steroid-esque muscle
and thick bag that you had put yourself together
after your third round at Juvy last year.
I don't think I ever liked you,
and you never liked me,
so I don't know what it is I feel
or why I stumbled so,
but I have a small fear inside
that worries this feeling is from seeing
that you are very much different from then,
and I am very much the same.
 Jun 2014 Camy Mathews
PeatrJay
I found myself sleeping on your side of the bed last night.

It made me wonder because the bed isn't yours. As far as worldly possessions go, I'm not even within my right to call it "mine".

it just is.

But you're still associated with an integral part of my life and it ***** cuddling with a sleeping bag.
You're just like me
Like a mirror reflection
Touch our hands to the glass
We look so different

But I like what you like
You think how I think
You speak as I do

And I loved who you love

The difference in our identical reflections
Is that he is no longer on my side of the glass
and now stands behind you on yours

Identical in every way

Save for the heartache

I can only hope that he keeps these reflections dissimilar

At least for your sake

— The End —