Baby, I can't keep doing this
I am on my knees so often
my feet have started to atrophy
and I have taken your maybes
and somedays,
threaded them into
the worlds most pathetic rosary
In place of a cross 
there is only the highway between us
"Holy Abbey, forgive me of this love
but don't let this be our hour of death
Say you love me too
and I will kiss every inch of asphalt
between my heart and yours
until my mouth is bruised and ******,
but still begging you to stay
Amen"

Coals burn out in the city of ruin -
all rebar skeleton and ash
and running on fumes

No fire tonight
No spark to coax a flame
The wind set it all ablaze,
but left as soon as it came

Empty gas cans 
and soggy matchsticks
litter an abandoned camp

All that's left to do
is to hit the road
Off to find a new home
and hope it explodes

Being away from you feels like needle pricked heart
Feels like every passing grain of sand
drives a canyon between us
For every moment we're apart
another ray of sunshine is drip-dripping from me
Like the faulty faucet in my bathroom,
baby, I just need a caring hand
A hug and a band-aid and a promise for tomorrow
But, until then,
sunshine rains in my gut 
and my sink still leaks

They say you'll spend the new year
the same way you spend it's eve,
but I pray that's not true
because a year without you
might be the end of me

Let this be it
Let this be my time of success
I have spent too many winters
wrapping myself in regret
and disappointment
Let this be the turning point

If you could,
be gentle with my heart
Lumpy scar tissue and
shot gun shells mar the surface
but I promise it has potential
Let this be a time of healing

I beg of you - 
knees buried in a sinkhole
and head bowed 
to gods I don't even believe in -
grant me rebirth
Let this be the beginning

Riding on the back of mass despair,
you have the chance for greatness
and I see you in technicolor

somehow, i never learned to run
i was once told i move like a drunk newborn camel
and, admittedly, that is not entirely inaccurate

im from a family of shaking hands
bullet hole egos
and wobbly knees
all of us clumsy with our hearts and each other

its no wonder i trip over my own apologies
stumble at a pretty smile
falter at opportunity
this is apples and trees all over again
and nobody likes bruised fruit

i am all bruises
i am fall over anything
fall for everything
fall into everyone

there is a secret to moving gently that no one wants to share
and maybe i dont want it anyway
i am the bull and the world is my china shop

i am not afraid of falling
i am not afraid of bruises

i am a crash course in wrecking *****

i swear my lips taste like yours and they've never even met
how strange it is to miss something you've never had

i've imagined your touch so many times
i swear
i can feel the feather soft tingle of your hand in mine
and maybe it's not all fabrication and make-believe

i swear we've met before

in a parallel universe, the timing was right from the start
and i'm remembering dew drops in your hair
four months from now
and your smile
three years and a thousand "i love you's" ago

i swear some version of me knows some version of you
and
if distance kills us here
at least i'll know it was never a factor there

i swear i remember you