If you listen with thoughts undefined
the rain will begin to play a rhythm
a soft elegy for all we have forgot

I once spent a day listening to the past
and was rewarded with a glimpse of the future

bright strobes of energy etched in the fabric touched by the vast the mind

faltered

desire set in
and the soul searched for more
I touched the universe
and
burned

mind and soul
fought and argued
and went their separate ways
now we wander
broke and destined

time is consuming us

most is now scattered like dust

but then

we'll hear a whisper in the rain and
I'll remember what it means to be Whole

once upon a time I commited a sin
only it wasn't one you'd ever heard of
my sin was so great
they invented a name for it
and it became my heirloom
passed generation
to generation
a curse for all to recognize
it burned my soul away
and cleansed me of any good
left me to wander unconcerned
with whether I could be absolved
now I'm a jealous wraith
hellbent on serving justice

No welcome mat adorns the threshold of this house, whose stolen curtains leave gaping holes in the privacy of a building, stripped of laughter. The night peeks in through open doors, and rotted walls, where once soft incandescent light illuminated: a family portrait, childhood masterpieces, and a bookshelf once filled with books worn by the love of three souls who enjoyed nothing more than the peace and quiet of Saturday afternoons devoted to the exploration of their favourite author.

Along the North wall, where once the girl's bedroom sat proudly, gleaming with the banners of musicians and musicals, now rests rubble and ruin. Bereft of purpose, the house is weighed down, with the shame of being unable to shelter its family, with remorse from not withstanding, with guilt from the failure to hold together a family that deserved more than the inextricable truth that a life lived fully and completely in youth and virtue must come to a stop fully and completely.

No welcome mat adorns the threshold of this house, whose drawn curtains provide an honest glimpse into the life of a family, stripped of laughter. The day peeks in through an open door, across painted walls, where the soft morning light illuminates: a tough reminder, childhood innocence, and a bookshelf built with the  love and attention of now two souls who try valiantly to remember the peace and quiet of Saturday afternoons devoted to the exploration of their favourite author.

I'm still just as crazy
as when words still made sense
and birdsong was our heritage
Now the time between what is
real
and all the things I've made
up
exists only in the time when
my eyes are closed
So I sleep away the days.
all of them

Would the world make as much sense
if the sunset was green?
What if forests were silver and the
dirt was purple?
          Would love feel warm?
          Would comfort be found in fear?
Deep seas of sunflower yellow
          and mountain ranges of teal
Long roads of deep maroon
          lead us to ponds of lavender
          and caves of sapphire
Maybe in such a world
I wouldn't have forgotten trust
          Would we have met
                       or
          would we only know each other
                       in strange deja vu

Blue powder keg
          and green matchbooks
alight to make yellow red and gold
         a benediction                   in a nightmare sky
all shouts and howls
         blood moons and shrieking winds
a resistance
                  at
                  the
                  centre
of               an                     oppression
proof of concept
                   lets    you    sleep
          keeps your dreams
                               safe
                                      &fre;;
                                               &clean;
No monsters here
Let the morning saunter
                                in
Settle your restless                             doubts
and give you one more day
                     Peace, sweet one
                                Peace

if i knew that whichever way i travelled
i would still come back to this crossroads
would the journey matter at all? No,

unless i was not the same, carrying
the new disease of experience,
wisdom, and enlightened by perspective

then would this crossroads be the same,
if i were different? would i not pass on
this illness, to infect someone else?

if i knew that no matter where i journeyed
i would still return to this crossroads
would my travels matter at all? Perhaps

if i were changed, mutated
by the infection, with imagination,
creativity, and enlightened by relationships

then would this crossroads be the same,
if i were different? would i not pass
this blessing, to better someone else?

at a crossroads i sat, and pondered a syllogism

New Day, New Dawn for all the pretty things the sun shines upon
Today, Tomorrow comes for all the creatures living in sorrow
Wither, Wander with all the questions I have to ponder
Blue sky, Blue sea for all the wishes that could ever be

cloud capped mountains don't
really have a head
        And the roots of trees
we can only guess
        We can never get closer to
the horizon
        Forever trapped at the centre
of my own little universe
        Dreams are just hallucinations we
have when our body can't function
        But at least in my dreams
I can escape an inevitable centre
        I am everything
        Looking at something
And I think this is where I'll stay

sweet little nothings in my deaf ear
why do you try so hard for me?
affection, persuasion, tiny kisses on my cheek
you're trying to warm the heart of a corpse.
Pack up, move on, leave the dead things behind

Through a window shuttered by blinds
a cloud rains a torrent on the mountain.
Blues, Grays, Silvers, and Whites cascade.

A tree begins in noise, settles in silence,
slips between my eyes in greens and browns.
The wind whistles a dirge seen in waves and bends.

Life flutters and whistles, ***** and sings
I've seen it all in colours.
But now it's all in greys and blacks.

Once upon a time when we were all birds
the Sun and the Moon fought in love.
With an eclipse it died in a sliver.

We look to our future
(and regret our past)
I've always wondered,
what to do with you.

I have two choices
that hurt more than words.
I never would have thought
this would end this way.

I fear, miss, lament, love
You.
Where are you?
I'm lost and afraid.

You were right,
I was wrong.
Would you ever come back to me?
You deserve better.

We ask ourselves the hard questions
(and expect the easy answers)
little did we know that life lives in adversity
and triumphs through a long struggle
no one ever told me that the right decision
is sometimes the hardest thing to do
and no one ever warned me
sometimes there isn't a right decision
i stumble, i struggle, i do what i can
the only thing I've learned
is that life is unpredictable
but sometimes (if you try real hard)
you might just get what you want

suns set and stars align
this is the end for this love of mine
troubled hours and weary eyes
we stumble through our last goodbyes

our hearts have burned
our minds have turned
and all we have learned
has been well and truly earned

we have built a family out of
friends, strangers, and lovers
a bond we share at the heart of our souls.
Now I leave behind it all.

Passions and fears blend into courage
to push me over the edge
allows me to spread my wings and join the flock
I gazed into the abyss and the abyss gazed into me.

We are one going different directions
reaching new heights
and forging new trails
forever tied together.

We saw ourselves in each other's eyes,
opened ourselves wide
and embraced those outside,
felt the change in shuddering sighs.

I will miss and love you all
as this too fades into memory
our hearts full and warm
I wish you well and depart, adieu.

the reminder that I'm still alive
found wrapped in my arms in dreary morning hours
night washed in stolen kisses, adventurous hands
and ticklish discoveries

passionateviolent moments of silence
as futures dance in shadow covered eyes
lips turning wry smiles at jokes told behind
a guarded heart

the inescapable quality of simple fond regard
a rush, a blush, and another quick kiss
traded for promises in tomorrow and after
that when I wake up you'll still be there

vapid hunger seethes in the loudlyquiet conversation
pattered out in hearts like morse code
rivers of circulation apart, the heat of our skin electric
secrets shared from old scars and dying wounds

to hold you dear is enough
replants the trees of my stolen forest
life rebuilds in moments then years
and all because of you

To the night wind I give
the embers of old love,
from letters on this pyre,
and cast off this burden
into bright, cleansing fire.

To the night wind I give,
full of fond memory,
a drawn and heavy sigh
of the man I once was,
to rise into the sky.

To the night wind I give
the last stalwart bastion
of the dream I cling to,
my old and worried dream,
that I could still love you.

To the night wind I give,
beneath starry witness,
and born in amber light
promise to discover
a true love warm and bright.

Imagine a cream coloured sky
(is actually quite frightening)

When pale, deep, and sky blue vanish
we are forced to question the stability of our world.

Now imagine a friend who has vanished,
or a lover has lost interest,
and isn't that kind of the same thing?

Or what about the temperature climbing higher,
or the oceans getting bigger.

The number of bees getting smaller,
and all the trees that we're harvesting.

Why does change need to be dramatic before we take interest?
Why can't it be small. Incremental.

Reaction these days is necessitated by crisis,
and not an everyday shift towards disaster.

We are comfortable with the everyday.
It is predictable. And comfortable.

But a cream coloured sky...
Now that would scare us into action.

sunlight flits through a wicked, worn white picket fence
bathes fading green grass in the day's last outstretched fingers
casually it recedes, the pale radiance dips behind the crooked mountain
              and the flood of night rushes in to envelop me

a tickle of the river rumbles on by
tearing apart stones that tempt languor
the whisper of the flame echos beside
shattering the enforced calm of night
the ripple of battle knits the sky
predator and prey embark in love
the sarcasm of nature building the framework
of piecemeal eternity entrenched in freedom
the cyclical angle of come and go
pout and moan with ardor
as the arbors bend and root
and with this sickening contradiction
this beautiful atrocity
life laughs at the weak, stamps out the strong
and heaves a shiver of mere satisfaction

A conversation held in silence (Hello.)
between blue eyes and green, long stares and held breaths
subtle twitches of the finger, and tucking of hair behind the ear.

(What aren't you saying to me?) A long uninterrupted gaze,
and one heart hammering in my chest and yours (What am I to you?)
the growing fear that the moment might be lost
by blinking or a cruel sneeze.

two reflections of two frightened would-be lovers
trapped by (Anything? Please!) poor timing and failing
commitments turned to fast regret

the hushed silence fades with the rise of the soft din of (You are...)
comfortable chatter, the ambient (...very...) background of a private eternity gladly forgotten in favour of quaint fantasy (beautiful.)

(I don't want to go.)
and then nature kicks in and we breath simultaneously
like an empire we are crushed, the silent blossoming sun on
an unattainable horizon wilts and sets.

"Hi."

the Coyote laughed at my joke
and said he had not heard it before

Whither wander you, Traveller
He asked with a grin full of rue,
baring sharp angled teeth
he teased the chill in my bones;
the numbing dread I was succumbing to

"to the End," I said, brazen tone lauded in ill-advised curiosity

Which End
retorts the Coyote,
my small fire dancing mischievously
in his timeless eyes

"Of my days,"
the river 'side my camp, sneaking by, made no move to intervene

Then I shall show you the way
He suggested
without much room for question

For I have been, and will be again
the soft fur shimmered with the stars reflected in the sky above

*and you are just beginning.

a haze settles in sight foretold
clouds the certain predicts the past
and creates answers for questions wondered

i wondered where life grows
weeds, fears, darkness, light
ever did  you cheat fate

a wicked wind rises in the east
sweeps the west of broken promises
the sun rose in the west, set in the east
we learned then time is eternal

these waters move on a token shore

twenty-some-odd stone steps down

not so far from my home door

rests a weary beach of grey,green, and brown

the old sun sets gently tonight

a world that has long forgotten what it means

washing a world in warm golden light

we live on the other side of vast ethereal screens

hope is barred from trespassing

time has stopped its changing

there once was a lonely little leaf
champion of his tree, soul survivor of a bitter winter
one-by-one he watched his exquisitely green opponents
fade, turn and die
until at last remained he, singular resident of the tree
and with a shudder and shock
was hit with the vein-cracking chill
in his moment of triumph
he had forgotten what he was meant to be
and now too strong to fall, this lonely little leaf
stands guard over all

sea-drowned dreams bubble to the surface
lost and broken fragments diluted with the horrors of the abyss
Once sweet melancholy and pleasant conflicts
now distorted monstrosities fused with thoughts we hold dead

I will wade through the fire and flame
across the void, against shattering current
an arrow through the water, like so
I shall glide, unwavering, undeterred

I will wait through perdition and justice
against time immemorial, and chained truth
freedom knows no such strength
as that which I abuse in silence

I will serve through temptation and harmony,
evocations of fear tremble 'neath my resolve
my eyes pierce the unimagined veil
of love, loss, and suffocation

I will meet you on the other side of hell
scathed, battered, and bruised
a testament to eternity's inadequacy
in my devotion

night falls on hushed conversation
drifts of laughter, peals of attraction
a comparison of souls blush soft exhaled breaths
near touches, averted glances, reflections in eyes
we two together discover newness in difference
the evening becomes young and old,
lives flow on winds of exchange and openess
wax and wan a brilliant fascination
growth finds route in minds flickering between paths
oft ignored in ignorance and incredulity
sought by courageous sparks of life unafraid of
the imperial void.
soft sands eager to crush hard rock struggle to gain purchase
invariably falter and confess inability
spirit prevails above desire, ignites a passion
and redefines the concept of humanity.
born on the whims and compassion of lightyears of volatility
eventually delivers miracles in frozen seeds.
nurtured imagination ripens, shoots for the sky
believe what can come from eye contact inside two panes of glass

Hello my sacred youth
             blessed in eternal memory
muscles ache for loss
             minds slip in understanding

You were ever mine
             preserved in fond regard
Smiles wreathed in amusement
             tongues clicked in delight

You taught me mysteries
             I discovered darkness
I taught you trails
             you learned destiny

Spite is as effective as poison
(and vengeance as heroic as genocide)
Hypocrisy is the GREATEST evil
Hidden invisible fear of truth
it boils and seethes
Biteandsqueeze
and drains the life from hope
so much time is
$pent
on appearance
That we forget what truth
L%ks like
What colour is truth?
I only smell lies

Time lost is time gained if lost in heart.
Love lost is love gained if lost in time.
Work lost is work gained if lost in love.

Whatever were we doing when children played games.
Growing up is the greatest sin we've ever committed.
Life passed us by when we thought to buy it.

You dig dig dig dig dig dig deep
It grows darker darker darker darker darker darker black
Stop. You've gone too far. You've been forgot.

What you hold in the palm of your hand.
isonlyasstrongasyourgrip

Your examination of life exists only as long as the balance between strength and understanding is maintained.

between cool fingers of life and death the fragile thoughts of something misunderstood learn to fear all they've ever known

the cage has only ever been what you make of it

tickles of startlight
(and flutters of fancy)
dedicate a sermon
to all the hopeful dreamers
casting a wish tonight.

vivid imaginations
moved by frank impossibilities
peeled away the layers
to reveal a mellow thought.

we are not all that we seem
(but not quite what we imagined)
yet there are still a few of us
unafraid of standing out.

heroes destined not to be remembered
and adversaries universally praised
line the pages of this notebook
in ink that looks the same.

embers and coals alive and whispering
haunting memories quick and ticking
fill my addled brain
with threads i cannot follow.

but You can
with all your acquiescent defiance
and souls alight with our raw potential
push us into tomorrow.

I am but a sad little lamb
lost in a myriad of dreams
I wander among streams of clouds
and fields of storms
trying to find a crumb of joy
the grass doesn't taste so green
and the wind ****** at my coat
leaving a clinging chill
to freeze my little heart
but I will persevere
and wander my hills alone
looking for the sunset
that marks my way back home

anytime the skylark sings
secrets flutter, take to wings.
agonized scars torn anew
bleed letters, words, and lies
over skin profuse with fragile trust.
veins course like rivers over falls
ends from beginnings
such sorrows beget little lamentation.
over trees the skylarks soar
bathing in the pale moonlight
every dulcet tone born from memory.
lonely shadows on the heart
overcome in love
washed away in song.

one evening while i sat alone,
i asked myself why.

what followed was a long explanation
of why i chose to avoid another

but still i did not understand
and bore a grave dissatisfied smile

the answer for one is also
the question for a second

but surely at the heart of the matter
there is a truth, a reason

but i did not understand

we are not all of us
in this together

but rather in all of us
are the pieces of a journey

it did not matter; the colour
of the stone beneath my foot

if it was still part of the path

Echoes
Whispers
Ghosts
and Death

Leave Me
Little
Time
to Sleep

Slumber
Tumble
Wake
and Dream

I Have
Much
to
Think Upon

The Terrifying Realisation
               that this could be the
                                     Certain beginning
                         to the
                                     Certain end

The echoed shot reaching
                        the peak of the white-capped mountains
            An imperceptible rumble felt in the spirit
                                             rather than heard in the ear
soft rush of an Avalance of tiny
infiniteinvisible
                         particles

Intent on our Destruction

             From the vantage point of solitude and isolation
                          we watch in rapt fascination
as
one
by
one
      
             the lights of our countries go out
It's hard to imagine that anyone could
witness our timely end.

Yet all the world's citizens
                        through screens and eyes
                        words and sounds
Experience the last things they'll ever do

here i am
(and here i'll stay)
close to your heart

for ever and a day

I want a guarantee that you'll mean something to me
more than a misplaced memory in a garden I can't see
take me away and bury my dreams
i'm plagued by an immediate uncertainty that you're less than a reflection
Words echo in velvet valleys, broken promises, unhinged truths.
Whatever happened to an honest sense of virtue?
misbegotten, vicarious, vivacious
a snow fall of black ash buries whatever light you shine
i am more than my shadow, less than my soul
a cruel parallel of dreams unfulfilled
potential discovered and never unearthed
struck in a museum to be admired but not touched.
Feed me my horizion
swallow my direction
the forest floor yields at my touch
but hides my footsteps
hides me away in dead foliage and new sprouts
Forgive me my abused love, my fears derive admission of guilt
in all your gifts of love.
I've wrought stricken truth in statues of vanity
paid more heed to pride than sense
beauty lies in the mouth of the poet
while breath dies in the lungs of the politician
evermore lost in the eyes of eternal youth mixed gruesome spirituality
universal lies and singular realities teach me
I would never admit actual defeat
if I can pretend success exists in affection
Forevermore, notwithstanding you
I'll see you on the other side
just don't forget to bring the wine.

It's exciting in a time when

                            DULL
is in.
           and the most creative thing is to march along

Little secret whispers in posh scarves, sleek dresses, angled suits
              Strive for imagination in prison.
It is rife with discontent.
                           Influence chained.
                           Desire subdued.


              All we care about now is blending in
like it's the newest way to

                           STAND OUT.

What's a risk amidst safety?
Where's safety in a storm?
I see all your little lies, but
your lies see little light.

Even in a grove of weeds can beauty flourish.
Life can gather and swell, and overflow.
Chaos cares not its destination
Law makes its own. Life weaves in both.

The difference between light and darkness is perspective.

I hear whispers in the walls
Chuckles behind the curtain
And now the ghouls have made their calls.

A gnawing doubt, cold and certain
That shadows stole away the light
My heart grows cold, a heavy burden.

This house now stands as a blight
A monument to some great fall
Lorded over by this wicked wight.

The sun sets behind too many trees,
inverted needles stabbing at the sky

The sky bleeds, crimson then rose then amber
As blue fades into violet, and the forest becomes blotchy

Thick ink dropped in water, cloudy
and almost impenetrable, then translucence is consumed

Memory is this way
The way I remember you, is this way

A bad taste on the tongue,
sour milk, moldy bread, tang

I once tried to paint with my memory of you,
and the colours ran, mixed, stained my canvas

I've painted over you a few times,
but you're a scar

The sun sets behind too many trees,
I can't see it, save for the shadows

An ever-flowing chalice
of thick red wine
You could choke before you drown
Damnation in excess
Devilry in revelry
Plenty; a curse
Revenge is in the tannins

the season's young
not yet bittersweet        
and i sit and enjoy      
the promise it sings                  
with bated breath
and an impatience
etched in my finger
here comes my rain
to wash away a sin
as old as my soul
yet still in infancy
with much to learn
so it I will nourish
while I sit and wait
here on this bench
just short of home
yet too far to walk      
here is where i stay
and here i will die

He ran
far from his home,
to free himself from pain,
of ruined love and broken trust.
Last night,
when sleep had come,
I tumbled inside this
old, recurring dream of the boy
I was.

It was
an old, frightful dream of my boy,
that I tumbled inside
when sleep had come
last night.
Of broken love and ruined trust,
to be free and leave pain,
to a new home,
he ran.

I tread light (with a heavy heart)
footsteps brushed aside beneath my
laboured breath
now shines the sun 'cross my vagrant heart
(puts rest to idle flights of fancy)

shafts of brilliance decorate a face
(weary with a tear or two)
years ahead and years behind
scratch definitions of beautiful regret

I travel from there
to overwhere
and find my travels shy of fortune
(redemption, and sly contempt)

so soon enough I will smile
and you will smile
('cause home isn't far off now)
just another chore 'til forever more

Whispers on the sea
            Speak words long lost
on decayed forgotten lips
The waves lap and swing with the
           passion of the revered dead
           Ancestors tell tales, scatter wisdom
and we need to take a swim
                             to listen
Chill to the bone the words invade
         Sink to the marrow, burn
                  and fade
A world of the inexorable
           and soon forgotten
                     Now breathes with my lungs
           sees with my eyes
                                and rhymes with my tongue

the good will fall
                when we eliminate the evil
careful wrought balance
                dashed upon the rocks
and so our paragons
                our storied heroes
entomb their hearts in dark places
                and sink with heavy burdens
the natural harmony must
                be preserved at all costs
new demons for new heroes to brave
                the scales can tip
and level once more
                 in victory we found defeat
betrayal, a sour taste in our mouths
                 but in defeat we found courage
bravery, hope in darkness
                 never forget that what is high
can always fall
                 and what is low
can always rise