I walk the halls
Of the youth I recall
But all the paintings
Are memories of yesterday
And many other yesterdays
And the halls take turns
That I cannot recall

It repeats
It repeats
It repeats
Stay away
Take me home
Don't forget me

Now I only see you
When eyes blink
And light is censored
So now I pray
For final rest
In dreamless sleep

We all dance and sing
To sounds unheard
And rhythms felt in flesh
Like one we move
And though our distance grows
We are timeless bound
In a sacred heritage
Of genetic expression

I carve my love
In broken and decaying bone
Promises scratched in red sand
On worlds distant
And lacking atmosphere

I cannot fathom
The distance your message
Had to travel through space
Only to be discarded
Out of the basic fear
Of being alone

Carried away by the ocean
To sights far from shore, on
The swells of sweet-blue brine
And waves like skyscrapers
Help, o' rescuer mine

Carried away by the ocean
Like a flea on a dog
On an elephant sea
A small life, determined
By whim, fate or fancy

Carried away by the ocean
Or drowned, a ship scuttled
Car'ed away, or Taken?
I fear this no nightmare,
no green world to wake in

Carried away by the ocean
Me, a thought, Me afloat
A salt breath in, rhythm
Eyes up, not ocean blue
A floater, white phantom

Carried away by the ocean
Sudden, tumultuous
roar, crash, repeat, closer
Closer! hum, whine, mouth sounds
Pull, no Wet. warm. Answer.

The sun sets behind too many trees,
inverted needles stabbing at the sky

The sky bleeds, crimson then rose then amber
As blue fades into violet, and the forest becomes blotchy

Thick ink dropped in water, cloudy
and almost impenetrable, then translucence is consumed

Memory is this way
The way I remember you, is this way

A bad taste on the tongue,
sour milk, moldy bread, tang

I once tried to paint with my memory of you,
and the colours ran, mixed, stained my canvas

I've painted over you a few times,
but you're a scar

The sun sets behind too many trees,
I can't see it, save for the shadows

soft and lustrous, these colours decorate
like stars of a feather, all wrapped together
if i close my eyes, they begin to swim
tight in a spiral, they spin and spin
each colour a story, vivid and rich
amber - a cobbler, poor and overworked
blue - a priest, with sermons of doubt
and that green, and this red
a tapestry woven in luminosity

with the darkness of winter closing out our days
so too is winter's bite, silent, invisible
mandibles of frost and hypothermia

at first the pressure is light, even pleasant
an embrace, and we welcome it
until it starts to hurt

the chill eats at your fingers, your nose
a cold consumption
of unprotected flesh

there is no fighting, no hiding
only waiting, and freezing
winter is long, and winter's bite - patient

An ever-flowing chalice
of thick red wine
You could choke before you drown
Damnation in excess
Devilry in revelry
Plenty; a curse
Revenge is in the tannins

Imagine a cream coloured sky
(is actually quite frightening)

When pale, deep, and sky blue vanish
we are forced to question the stability of our world.

Now imagine a friend who has vanished,
or a lover has lost interest,
and isn't that kind of the same thing?

Or what about the temperature climbing higher,
or the oceans getting bigger.

The number of bees getting smaller,
and all the trees that we're harvesting.

Why does change need to be dramatic before we take interest?
Why can't it be small. Incremental.

Reaction these days is necessitated by crisis,
and not an everyday shift towards disaster.

We are comfortable with the everyday.
It is predictable. And comfortable.

But a cream coloured sky...
Now that would scare us into action.

if i knew that whichever way i travelled
i would still come back to this crossroads
would the journey matter at all? No,

unless i was not the same, carrying
the new disease of experience,
wisdom, and enlightened by perspective

then would this crossroads be the same,
if i were different? would i not pass on
this illness, to infect someone else?

if i knew that no matter where i journeyed
i would still return to this crossroads
would my travels matter at all? Perhaps

if i were changed, mutated
by the infection, with imagination,
creativity, and enlightened by relationships

then would this crossroads be the same,
if i were different? would i not pass
this blessing, to better someone else?

at a crossroads i sat, and pondered a syllogism

No welcome mat adorns the threshold of this house, whose stolen curtains leave gaping holes in the privacy of a building, stripped of laughter. The night peeks in through open doors, and rotted walls, where once soft incandescent light illuminated: a family portrait, childhood masterpieces, and a bookshelf once filled with books worn by the love of three souls who enjoyed nothing more than the peace and quiet of Saturday afternoons devoted to the exploration of their favourite author.

Along the North wall, where once the girl's bedroom sat proudly, gleaming with the banners of musicians and musicals, now rests rubble and ruin. Bereft of purpose, the house is weighed down, with the shame of being unable to shelter its family, with remorse from not withstanding, with guilt from the failure to hold together a family that deserved more than the inextricable truth that a life lived fully and completely in youth and virtue must come to a stop fully and completely.

No welcome mat adorns the threshold of this house, whose drawn curtains provide an honest glimpse into the life of a family, stripped of laughter. The day peeks in through an open door, across painted walls, where the soft morning light illuminates: a tough reminder, childhood innocence, and a bookshelf built with the  love and attention of now two souls who try valiantly to remember the peace and quiet of Saturday afternoons devoted to the exploration of their favourite author.

He ran
far from his home,
to free himself from pain,
of ruined love and broken trust.
Last night,
when sleep had come,
I tumbled inside this
old, recurring dream of the boy
I was.

It was
an old, frightful dream of my boy,
that I tumbled inside
when sleep had come
last night.
Of broken love and ruined trust,
to be free and leave pain,
to a new home,
he ran.

one evening while i sat alone,
i asked myself why.

what followed was a long explanation
of why i chose to avoid another

but still i did not understand
and bore a grave dissatisfied smile

the answer for one is also
the question for a second

but surely at the heart of the matter
there is a truth, a reason

but i did not understand

we are not all of us
in this together

but rather in all of us
are the pieces of a journey

it did not matter; the colour
of the stone beneath my foot

if it was still part of the path

What you hold in the palm of your hand.
isonlyasstrongasyourgrip

Your examination of life exists only as long as the balance between strength and understanding is maintained.

between cool fingers of life and death the fragile thoughts of something misunderstood learn to fear all they've ever known

the cage has only ever been what you make of it

here i am
(and here i'll stay)
close to your heart

for ever and a day

Time lost is time gained if lost in heart.
Love lost is love gained if lost in time.
Work lost is work gained if lost in love.

Whatever were we doing when children played games.
Growing up is the greatest sin we've ever committed.
Life passed us by when we thought to buy it.

You dig dig dig dig dig dig deep
It grows darker darker darker darker darker darker black
Stop. You've gone too far. You've been forgot.

Echoes
Whispers
Ghosts
and Death

Leave Me
Little
Time
to Sleep

Slumber
Tumble
Wake
and Dream

I Have
Much
to
Think Upon

New Day, New Dawn for all the pretty things the sun shines upon
Today, Tomorrow comes for all the creatures living in sorrow
Wither, Wander with all the questions I have to ponder
Blue sky, Blue sea for all the wishes that could ever be

Safety

                     is just where we go when life comes

a knockin'

The Big Lie behind clouded eyes

               (a great betrayal of the little truth)
               (that It's Okay)
          
                                       only we'll never believe ourselves
we'd rather trust the strangers who do not know

how could they? we've never shown them who we are

because we're safe and afraid

and all alone

                     but somewhere
                                                (inside)
                                                             fear is champion over hope

             love
             life
(all a prisoner)

Until we learn to say that It's Okay.

the season's young
not yet bittersweet        
and i sit and enjoy      
the promise it sings                  
with bated breath
and an impatience
etched in my finger
here comes my rain
to wash away a sin
as old as my soul
yet still in infancy
with much to learn
so it I will nourish
while I sit and wait
here on this bench
just short of home
yet too far to walk      
here is where i stay
and here i will die

I tread light (with a heavy heart)
footsteps brushed aside beneath my
laboured breath
now shines the sun 'cross my vagrant heart
(puts rest to idle flights of fancy)

shafts of brilliance decorate a face
(weary with a tear or two)
years ahead and years behind
scratch definitions of beautiful regret

I travel from there
to overwhere
and find my travels shy of fortune
(redemption, and sly contempt)

so soon enough I will smile
and you will smile
('cause home isn't far off now)
just another chore 'til forever more

the reminder that I'm still alive
found wrapped in my arms in dreary morning hours
night washed in stolen kisses, adventurous hands
and ticklish discoveries

passionateviolent moments of silence
as futures dance in shadow covered eyes
lips turning wry smiles at jokes told behind
a guarded heart

the inescapable quality of simple fond regard
a rush, a blush, and another quick kiss
traded for promises in tomorrow and after
that when I wake up you'll still be there

vapid hunger seethes in the loudlyquiet conversation
pattered out in hearts like morse code
rivers of circulation apart, the heat of our skin electric
secrets shared from old scars and dying wounds

to hold you dear is enough
replants the trees of my stolen forest
life rebuilds in moments then years
and all because of you

I will wade through the fire and flame
across the void, against shattering current
an arrow through the water, like so
I shall glide, unwavering, undeterred

I will wait through perdition and justice
against time immemorial, and chained truth
freedom knows no such strength
as that which I abuse in silence

I will serve through temptation and harmony,
evocations of fear tremble 'neath my resolve
my eyes pierce the unimagined veil
of love, loss, and suffocation

I will meet you on the other side of hell
scathed, battered, and bruised
a testament to eternity's inadequacy
in my devotion

the Coyote laughed at my joke
and said he had not heard it before

Whither wander you, Traveller
He asked with a grin full of rue,
baring sharp angled teeth
he teased the chill in my bones;
the numbing dread I was succumbing to

"to the End," I said, brazen tone lauded in ill-advised curiosity

Which End
retorts the Coyote,
my small fire dancing mischievously
in his timeless eyes

"Of my days,"
the river 'side my camp, sneaking by, made no move to intervene

Then I shall show you the way
He suggested
without much room for question

For I have been, and will be again
the soft fur shimmered with the stars reflected in the sky above

*and you are just beginning.

To the night wind I give
the embers of old love,
from letters on this pyre,
and cast off this burden
into bright, cleansing fire.

To the night wind I give,
full of fond memory,
a drawn and heavy sigh
of the man I once was,
to rise into the sky.

To the night wind I give
the last stalwart bastion
of the dream I cling to,
my old and worried dream,
that I could still love you.

To the night wind I give,
beneath starry witness,
and born in amber light
promise to discover
a true love warm and bright.

a tickle of the river rumbles on by
tearing apart stones that tempt languor
the whisper of the flame echos beside
shattering the enforced calm of night
the ripple of battle knits the sky
predator and prey embark in love
the sarcasm of nature building the framework
of piecemeal eternity entrenched in freedom
the cyclical angle of come and go
pout and moan with ardor
as the arbors bend and root
and with this sickening contradiction
this beautiful atrocity
life laughs at the weak, stamps out the strong
and heaves a shiver of mere satisfaction

I hear whispers in the walls
Chuckles behind the curtain
And now the ghouls have made their calls.

A gnawing doubt, cold and certain
That shadows stole away the light
My heart grows cold, a heavy burden.

This house now stands as a blight
A monument to some great fall
Lorded over by this wicked wight.

anytime the skylark sings
secrets flutter, take to wings.
agonized scars torn anew
bleed letters, words, and lies
over skin profuse with fragile trust.
veins course like rivers over falls
ends from beginnings
such sorrows beget little lamentation.
over trees the skylarks soar
bathing in the pale moonlight
every dulcet tone born from memory.
lonely shadows on the heart
overcome in love
washed away in song.

A conversation held in silence (Hello.)
between blue eyes and green, long stares and held breaths
subtle twitches of the finger, and tucking of hair behind the ear.

(What aren't you saying to me?) A long uninterrupted gaze,
and one heart hammering in my chest and yours (What am I to you?)
the growing fear that the moment might be lost
by blinking or a cruel sneeze.

two reflections of two frightened would-be lovers
trapped by (Anything? Please!) poor timing and failing
commitments turned to fast regret

the hushed silence fades with the rise of the soft din of (You are...)
comfortable chatter, the ambient (...very...) background of a private eternity gladly forgotten in favour of quaint fantasy (beautiful.)

(I don't want to go.)
and then nature kicks in and we breath simultaneously
like an empire we are crushed, the silent blossoming sun on
an unattainable horizon wilts and sets.

"Hi."

sunlight flits through a wicked, worn white picket fence
bathes fading green grass in the day's last outstretched fingers
casually it recedes, the pale radiance dips behind the crooked mountain
              and the flood of night rushes in to envelop me

sea-drowned dreams bubble to the surface
lost and broken fragments diluted with the horrors of the abyss
Once sweet melancholy and pleasant conflicts
now distorted monstrosities fused with thoughts we hold dead

sweet little nothings in my deaf ear
why do you try so hard for me?
affection, persuasion, tiny kisses on my cheek
you're trying to warm the heart of a corpse.
Pack up, move on, leave the dead things behind

suns set and stars align
this is the end for this love of mine
troubled hours and weary eyes
we stumble through our last goodbyes

our hearts have burned
our minds have turned
and all we have learned
has been well and truly earned

we have built a family out of
friends, strangers, and lovers
a bond we share at the heart of our souls.
Now I leave behind it all.

Passions and fears blend into courage
to push me over the edge
allows me to spread my wings and join the flock
I gazed into the abyss and the abyss gazed into me.

We are one going different directions
reaching new heights
and forging new trails
forever tied together.

We saw ourselves in each other's eyes,
opened ourselves wide
and embraced those outside,
felt the change in shuddering sighs.

I will miss and love you all
as this too fades into memory
our hearts full and warm
I wish you well and depart, adieu.

there once was a lonely little leaf
champion of his tree, soul survivor of a bitter winter
one-by-one he watched his exquisitely green opponents
fade, turn and die
until at last remained he, singular resident of the tree
and with a shudder and shock
was hit with the vein-cracking chill
in his moment of triumph
he had forgotten what he was meant to be
and now too strong to fall, this lonely little leaf
stands guard over all

tickles of startlight
(and flutters of fancy)
dedicate a sermon
to all the hopeful dreamers
casting a wish tonight.

vivid imaginations
moved by frank impossibilities
peeled away the layers
to reveal a mellow thought.

we are not all that we seem
(but not quite what we imagined)
yet there are still a few of us
unafraid of standing out.

heroes destined not to be remembered
and adversaries universally praised
line the pages of this notebook
in ink that looks the same.

embers and coals alive and whispering
haunting memories quick and ticking
fill my addled brain
with threads i cannot follow.

but You can
with all your acquiescent defiance
and souls alight with our raw potential
push us into tomorrow.

Prickles of needles and drops of love
              veins cascade memories of light
Where the noble heart beats in love
with a ****** universe that knows no betrayal.

       Silver leaflets do not wither
               and no passing season kills the youth
Roots like fingers in sand
basking in the rich warmth of a fire more distant than death

        These trees touch the roof of the sky
to tempt infinity with a definition as tangible as the wind on your face.

Today this day will last until it needs not
the fire will shrink and a festival
                                                      (of tiny illumination)
will spark the imagination of a generation
                                                      (before it is born)

Revels and stories are odes to a gift so precious
we celebrate on lungs full of sweet scents,
the nectar of flowers feeding, nourishing,
sustaining a population of children-not-children.

A darkness not frightening
            but                 Joyful
                 wrapping our eager minds in insulation
to breed seeds of eternity recorded in minds untroubled by
unanswerable
questions

Tonight this night will last an age that requires no dawn,
only sacred appreciation of what mysteries tomorrow will bring
tucked in pockets of night's cloak

                                                        (But Today is not over
the sun still beats and eyes stare
                                     in wonder
                         at colours vibrant and ripe with innocence

Today I will know you and you will know me
So that tonight we will be written ever as one)

The Terrifying Realisation
               that this could be the
                                     Certain beginning
                         to the
                                     Certain end

The echoed shot reaching
                        the peak of the white-capped mountains
            An imperceptible rumble felt in the spirit
                                             rather than heard in the ear
soft rush of an Avalance of tiny
infiniteinvisible
                         particles

Intent on our Destruction

             From the vantage point of solitude and isolation
                          we watch in rapt fascination
as
one
by
one
      
             the lights of our countries go out
It's hard to imagine that anyone could
witness our timely end.

Yet all the world's citizens
                        through screens and eyes
                        words and sounds
Experience the last things they'll ever do

Blue morning light
                         outlines an idea of your image
           serenity in carelessness
and soft contented breathing

                        I, a mere Mortal
gaze upon your Immortality
         peace and pleasure
a cool autumn breeze

                                          You are perfect in a moment
and the next
                     and the next
                                          Dream-etched feelings

It seems such a crime
                    to look upon you so
          A Blessing undeserved
in such a cruel world

Silently            softly           stirring
            hushed          husky            whispers
fluttersunderoceansoffabric
The Goddess of the Room Murmurs

I'm never prepared
to be taken by your eyes
All cool satisfaction
and the glimmer of ageless curiosity

                                              I Whisper Defiantly
against the pregnant silence
that I am yours
          and you are mine

We look to our future
(and regret our past)
I've always wondered,
what to do with you.

I have two choices
that hurt more than words.
I never would have thought
this would end this way.

I fear, miss, lament, love
You.
Where are you?
I'm lost and afraid.

You were right,
I was wrong.
Would you ever come back to me?
You deserve better.

a haze settles in sight foretold
clouds the certain predicts the past
and creates answers for questions wondered

i wondered where life grows
weeds, fears, darkness, light
ever did  you cheat fate

a wicked wind rises in the east
sweeps the west of broken promises
the sun rose in the west, set in the east
we learned then time is eternal

Once upon a time
            I counted all the trees
But I knew by the time I finished
            more had sprouted
I counted again
            and found a new answer
This time it was infinity
            eternity, the wheel of time
When we count something we
            expect an end
What if there is no end
            and we didn't know that?
Would we spend an eternity counting
            or lose an eternity?
            I don't know yet.
                     I'll tell you when
            I reach the end.
Ten-Thousand One...
Ten-Thousand Two...

Would the world make as much sense
if the sunset was green?
What if forests were silver and the
dirt was purple?
          Would love feel warm?
          Would comfort be found in fear?
Deep seas of sunflower yellow
          and mountain ranges of teal
Long roads of deep maroon
          lead us to ponds of lavender
          and caves of sapphire
Maybe in such a world
I wouldn't have forgotten trust
          Would we have met
                       or
          would we only know each other
                       in strange deja vu

We ask ourselves the hard questions
(and expect the easy answers)
little did we know that life lives in adversity
and triumphs through a long struggle
no one ever told me that the right decision
is sometimes the hardest thing to do
and no one ever warned me
sometimes there isn't a right decision
i stumble, i struggle, i do what i can
the only thing I've learned
is that life is unpredictable
but sometimes (if you try real hard)
you might just get what you want

these waters move on a token shore

twenty-some-odd stone steps down

not so far from my home door

rests a weary beach of grey,green, and brown

the old sun sets gently tonight

a world that has long forgotten what it means

washing a world in warm golden light

we live on the other side of vast ethereal screens

hope is barred from trespassing

time has stopped its changing

Spite is as effective as poison
(and vengeance as heroic as genocide)
Hypocrisy is the GREATEST evil
Hidden invisible fear of truth
it boils and seethes
Biteandsqueeze
and drains the life from hope
so much time is
$pent
on appearance
That we forget what truth
L%ks like
What colour is truth?
I only smell lies

Over the edge of the bluff lies a distance. It's lost,
deep and consuming.
I've clawed, fought, and surrendered.
Loss turns to despair, despair to hatred.
I hate you and your fears.
Your fears are my fears, and the dawn reveals a truth.
We believe in the truth we neglect. A wind is a whisper, a gale
a shout.
My fear is a breeze, keep your ear to the wind and you'll hear me