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Callum McKean Jan 2014
I. I say your flesh won't
Be enough for me. You say
I can have your bones.

II. Don't let yourself think
For one second I don't know
Your whole, cursed structure.

III. The angle of your
Pinky finger is, frankly,
Not too promising.

IV. You fall and fall and
Fall and fall and fall and fall
And fall and then snap.

V. We say we're fragile.
The flesh, maybe. But the bone
Is god's own thumbtack.

VI. I wanna kiss your
Skull. Leap past all the dying
Stuff and touch the sea.

VII. Cartilage is a
Nasty, cowardly *****. But
Somehow I need it.

IIX. Break a bone for me.
A lot of people say my haikus have a flagrant disregard for so-called "traditional" form.
They're ******* right.
Callum McKean Jan 2015
Altho nobody knows - and I’m not
telling! - I’m a dope fiend
******* hound and not in the
harmless sense i am
drug vampire, nocturnally creeping
into houses thru
open windows & easy doors taking
kitchen spices & cabinet cleaning

products
cooking little pills & powders
outta strangers’ **** i spend full
moons in velvet in backyards
falling out bathroom windows hopping fences
hoping your mother never finds out
Callum McKean Nov 2014
It’s time once more to get
down to our small-town brunch.
We’re sharing an identical
caffeine headache but we
know that a swift combination of
dog hair and sore eye’d

stares will ****
the cures they send our way.
Today,
the menu is plagued by locust
taste, and it’s only after
we begin to recognize
drought in our speech that
the coffee comes.

Now, I know you’ve heard my spiel
about impact communication
(I have a fervent need to
talk minus the mouth as
middleman) but I’m currently
wishing for
the vivid fluidity of
talk before evaporation,

when it’s red on your tongue.
My longing’s born in
absence of such; here,
even the coffee’s dehydrated
and gray. I drink

and I dream of a summer spent
crafting paper boats out of paper
and breathing life into their
folds, sailing them
soggy in whirlpools and eddies
sorry to be seen off

too soon.
We finish our desert meal,
syrupless pancakes that
stick to the roofs of our mouths.
The bread we finish with
is stale earth. As we leave,

I imagine a return to the drained
creek. I can see now
your cracked hands
laying the disposable vessels
onto dry ground
and asking them
to float.
Callum McKean Jun 2014
I am visited every Wednesday night by the destroyer, Felix, who asks to borrow my carpet. I agree, always keen for a dance, and he thrashes around for an hour or two on the floor before thanking me and leaving.
GOD
Callum McKean Jul 2014
GOD
When the monks came to town my fingers were too loose.
I let them bless that which others had given me
And so I am without a single holy thing.
Now, I treat everything like a deity
Until the monks return.
As I wait:
I sit still in the wet grass, sun-burned and ******
With my paperback lying on the ground.
(a god, forgotten temporarily, soaking in the dew)
It spins me a curse.
I am oblivious to this as
I wish
To be a spirit
Flowing from body to body
Knowing nothing but your face.
Callum McKean Jun 2014
There are clouds hanging around my head
And there is skin capturing my skull. I am boxed in. I can’t hear what you say when you speak.
This is not a problem when you have your hat with the earmuffs on and are momentarily deaf. When you have your hat on neither of us can hear.
Your hat has a pattern on it that looks like your skull
And so when you have it on you are like a deaf half-skeleton. This is when I feel the most need for lip-language, Morse code, when I want to drum my messages out on your skin. I say more when I lock my brain out of my skull and leave my body to its own devices.
You feel the bumps of earth trying to poke through the street
I know this because you had your earmuff hat on again this morning when you went walking outside
But even with your hearing gone, the street spoke to you, in bumps and ridges and edges and curbs and paint. You spoke its language back to it, feedback through
The soles of your feet.
You may be a little scraped up but you know the asphalt
Like a closed loop, like Saturn’s rings
Like the grooves of your favorite record.
I’ve seen you when you sleep, floating two inches above your covers. Your skin becomes yarn and it unravels, it waves, it ties itself around your ceiling fan.
Multi-colored yarn that twists and writhes and slides and knots itself until
The wavelength steadies and you are a solid telephone-line-stretch of yarn
Reaching straight across town.
I touch my end of the yarn and I whisper to the other end. Then I sit in the dark humid air.
I sit and I wait for the response.
This is when the clouds lift.
When the skin around my skull evaporates and I am left bare bones, unboxed.
When this happens
I hear the sound of Earth’s rotation
I hear your telephone-wire skin
I hear the closed loop
I hear Saturn’s rings
I hear the grooves of your favorite record
I hear the bumps in the asphalt.
I hear it all.
I am begging you to break your silence.
Callum McKean Jan 2014
I think I see you
Trying to **** the mood with
Elaborate words.
Callum McKean Jun 2014
Inside the cafe
All the waitresses are gone
One day I'll eat right
Callum McKean Nov 2014
I want you to build a swimming pool
in my bedroom before you leave
and I want you to fill it with my guts.
I want you to put my fingers one bye one
in your teeth and snap them off and
tack them to your arms like fleshy feathers.

I want you to pop out my eyes before you go
and mount them glimmering on your forehead.
I want you to crawl into bed with me and
slip off my shoes and my shirt and
sing me whisper sounds that flitter
under the covers and while you sing nail

what’s left of me to the mattress and
kiss me and put the mattress on the porch
and splash the porch with my blood
so the neighbor’s know I’m made of
the real stuff
and leave me there dripping off
the ground with your love.
Callum McKean Jun 2014
I have had my very own punk meals
With the fish, the junkys, big men from Your City.
When
(after synchronized feasting
Each recognizing the glory of putting Earth to lips)
I talk about the meat,
An invariably raw & ***** thing,
I am received poorly, instinctively pushed away with
*****/fish shrugs.
I don’t mind junkys
But I want to know:
What do they eat when we sit side by side?
Callum McKean Nov 2014
Last night, someone
blue and beautiful brought me
my dinner, her lips all
lit up from the inside. Sitting there with profiles
distorted by pleasure, we
recognized the shape of the
moment as it lay

distinct and glassy against our
skin. There were no questions -
“What are you thinking? What do you want?”
We didn’t need to ask
these, sitting on the wrong side
of the window while our lovers
hid in the crowds outside.
I didn’t need to know where she went
when she was out of my
sight because I could already see

her leaving, red socks on
white tile, slipping
as if out of the house her
parents had left her
down to the ground floor
and out, over
the welcome-mat puddles and grey-dirt paths -
into the world, the sky open to greet her
and the rain dropping like
shards of glass.
Callum McKean Jun 2014
Remember when we had destinations and desires
And we slung great speeches from our lips as if they were something big?
And I mean: we thought they were really large. We lived in that size.
But there were times that I accidentally left the car unlocked because
I’ve got pictures in my eyes and they’re all of you
You are hiding beneath a bridge with me and we are accidentally prophesizing the end while bathing in the creek
He is with you and you’re ****** and you are telling me I'm not real
I am pretending to listen to your records while basking in the sound of your breathing
We are kissing between destinations
I am on the street at three in the morning and I am hoping you are still awake
But the true-ly real one:
You are asleep and I’m singing to you because
You have no thoughts to distract your ears
There is a Polaroid on the wall and in it you are naked and covered in mud and you look like the Earth I want to know you I want to ******* but I don’t know that I just know that you are what I have been thinking about when I am nowhere at all.
I have lost slices, phrases, places to you
It is only now, when I am somewhere you cannot be, that I know love.
Ummm, I don't really know where this nostalgic ******* came from.
Enjoy?
Callum McKean Nov 2014
I’d like to be young Ewan MacGreg
or an NYC ***** circa 1977, spitting
over balcony railings and pushing
thumbtacks into white-washed
walls. All I’ve got for my
Ocean Voyage is a bed - and
so it becomes a boat and
the sheets are washed every day. And
from these clean travels I promise
I’ll mail you words on a regular basis
as long as you
promise to be waiting on the other
end, ready to pick up the envelope that
the greasy green teenager dropped you.
Ready to dig with bathrobe and trowel and
write me back about what you found
buried in the ink! As long as you
don’t disturb the soil. And remember, all
this excess comes from me, the
kid with the killer grin.
Callum McKean Jun 2014
There are no more people living in the places I’ve been.
Having previously inhabited
windows and doors and occasionally entire rooms,
they have left
and rest as rigid as action figures
cut out of old photographs
they rest with the goldfish
who’ve been discovered, through the glass,
to have life-spans.
They will be here next time I am this opaque

(blank faced in flashlight/almost gone myself)
Callum McKean Nov 2014
In a last ditch effort, I
Spread myself thin,  mistakenly
Dreaming up elephant scenarios.
Are you for real?
Because I think you just wished
Yourself into existence
Like a wooden puppet
With an existential nose.
Delightfully androgynous hobos
Light my days up
But I have no extra cash!
I am going to the races today
And I must bet on the winning horse.
Callum McKean Nov 2014
Corn syrup! on blue table-wood!
The librarians
kick you out, right after
you get it,
the heart monitor high that comes
from so much well-spent sugar.
Callum McKean Jan 2014
Grey dress, moonlighting
You’re perched again on the rocks, balanced on the seam between the sidewalk and the street
You always burnt softly in the daylight
Your face is lit up like a distant star
Like years ago
Like humming breaths, sober and deep, that I fought to keep in
Like bodies pressed into rock
Like stories escaping your lips
We begged, but the endings never came

They thought you were the veins in the granite
The current in the lake
The light in the trees
All the things you’d curse when drunk
I knew you as the Goddess of Twilight
A profound emptiness at your disposal
To me, you were an eternity in longing
Lost in dark rooms and vacant houses
Sometimes you were an exercise in blindness
Other times, a chant
Thin and narrow
Just blood on the concrete
But most often you were the living one
The beating heart
We would count your lives on our fingers
You’d had fourteen and a half
In thirteen short years

Tonight you’re silent
Somewhere else
The day’s distant, far-off
Promising to drown you
Fiery asphalt informs you
That it should feel all too familiar
Yes, but this time you’re not here
Lingering halfway between going and gone
You’ve written your name on your cheek
For fear of forgetting
Heard a ten-year-old reciting fragments of stories the other day
Stories of a girl lost in dark rooms and vacant houses
A Goddess of Twilight
Blood on concrete
Stories of a girl with fourteen and a half lives
Stories with no ending

Oh, heaven always comes right when you’re leaving.
Sometimes you wonder why you bother to stay at all.
**** yaeh

— The End —