The time of us

is long since past
and

the time of her
has come so soon.

I’d love to say just how

elated I am
to know you’re happy

but that wouldn’t be entirely

honest.

The truth is

I can feel the fleeting

feelings of the

age old green eyed monster.

Waking up, 

sun shining and

daisies adorning your hair

when I roll over.

Eyes open sleepily,

run my fingers

through your hair

with your breathing

slow steady calm

as you sleep on,
and I can smell the flowers

on them afterwards.

Oh darling,

I can’t say much

but what I can say won’t help you.

Oh darling-

I’m not a nice girl.

Don’t treat me so sweetly

for you’ll just be destroyed

once I walk away.

Oh darling,

don’t say it won’t be so

because that’s what they

all said before it

happened.

I never thought that

I’d be so tired of putting

a pretend face up.

I never thought to

put it to words on

paper.

I never thought of

how the words might taste

in my mouth.

I never thought it would

capture it so well.

If you want the
absolute truth, well-

I never dreamed that

You and I
would end up walking
down opposite streets.

But then again

my life is not a

dream.

A skinny little girl is 11
when she gets told for the first time
that she's not pretty enough.
What a thing to tell a little girl.
She can see what people call pretty
on magazines and she can see the mirror
telling her that her skin isn't as clear and
how she's not as skinny as them.

A skinny little girl is 13
when she stops eating breakfast,
claiming the lie of having nausea that early.
All the other girls are showing skin so
she joins in. Her face is clear now but
her stomach's still not flat. She eats half a lunch
and her mom says, "That's not enough."
Her friend doesn't know and
sees her waist, telling her, "Wow,
You're like a toothpick!"
It makes her grin and she feels pretty.

A skinny little girl is 15
when she decides skipping meals isn't
fast enough. She's stuffing her finger
down her throat now, pouring out her meals.
Her breast are on display and she
loves this boy who says she's beautiful
and kisses her stomach, telling her how
skinny she is. She doesn't know how
different *** is from love and she lets him
take her clothes off, loving him as much
as she can. He leaves her more times than she can
remember in the next couple years but
she defends it when he always comes back.

A skinny little girl is 17
when she tries to hide the scars
on her arms from everyone, making up
excuses when asked about them.
She's traded throwing up for skipping meals again and
she still thinks she's not pretty enough.
Her mom questions her scars and
her friends wonder about her eating habits but
nobody does a thing. She's numb and thinks
she's not worth anything. She cries herself to sleep and still loves the boy who comes and goes
and sometimes saves her from herself.
He tells her he loves her and she believes it,
not wanting death as much.

A skinny little girl is 19
when she has valleys in her hips
and a breeze between her legs and a
body she's learned to love.
She eats full meals and wears what she
likes and her arms are whole again.
She fights the thoughts and still
can't eat breakfast, no longer able to
stomach food that early.
She can't tell when she's hungry and
when she just wants food.
Hunger isn't known until there's a gnawing in her stomach.
The boy always tells her how much she
means and how he'll never stop talking
to her. She can look in the mirror now
and believe she's pretty.